Friends expecting me to pay for room I’m not sleeping in!

[Shouldiorshouldinotthen]

A group of 4 of us have been planning to stay in a fancy hotel not too far away from home for a much needed break from being mums to our young children.

In our friendship group is myself, twins A&B and my friend C. We have decided as it is friends C 30th coming up we will go near her birthday.

I have told the girls, plenty of times that I cannot stay the night on 9th Nov. Well now they’ve told me in the group it’s going to be 9th because it is the only night C can find childcare and it’s her birthday.

For the spa facilities and a cream tea at the hotel its £45.99

For the night it’s £380 (minimum 2 people) and you get the spa, cream tea, dinner with bottomless cocktails, stay the night and breakfast.

Twins A&B are sharing a room so their fee is £189.99 per person. Because I am unable to stay the night friend C has been told they don’t take single person in a room and she will have to pay £380. I have told her I will pay the £45.99 for the spa and cream tea as I’m not having the dinner, breakfast or staying the night.

But the twins have text me to say I am out of order not paying more and it’s C’s birthday. I’m expecting her to pay a silly amount. I should’ve offered to pay more. I said I can pay £25 more but £70 is already a lot of cream tea and a dip in the pool.

It is quite obvious they expected me to pay the full £189.99, despite the fact I’m not staying over night

Not sure if any of this makes sense but - AIBU!

Also yes I’ve mentioned doing it another time, but they’re so packed out the next time it’s available for £380 is in Jan. it goes up to almost double that later in Nov / Dec I guess due to Christmas

YANBU! Your friends are absolute pisstakers.

Edited to add: the twins should split the cost of the second room with your friend so they are paying £253 each. It’s their fault they picked a day you couldn’t stay!

Tell them to split the cost three-ways as they are the ones going!

Remind them repeatedly that you told them that you couldn't make it.

Split the cost between the three that are staying or they can suck it up and move the date to January.

You told them when you weren’t available, so it’s on them.

This.

They need to split the total cost over the overnight between 3. You're not pulling out you said you couldn't go that day. YANBU

You pay for your cream tea and spa, nothing more.

I’m happy to go in Jan and do something else for C’s birthday. I feel a bit annoyed tbh, it was something the 4 of us wanted to do together but they want to go on the only day I can’t stay the night for. None of us have any plans in Jan so it’s frustrating!

Exactly, if I pulled out after we booked or planned for that day I’d understand them expecting my half

Endlessly gobsmacked at the cheeky cunts you read about on Mumsnet!

Wow OP this is bonkers! They should split the cost of the overnight stay between the three of them. They sound awful

I’ve been really annoyed about it and moaning about it to DH this evening. I can’t even see their point, cheeky 100%

I think you need to get angry back. Point out it feels like they are deliberately excluding you by picking the one date you can’t do, but then expect you to pay like you were staying when they knew you couldn’t when they picked this date.

that your solution is that everyone just goes for the day and pays the £55, or you find another date everyone can do, or they go without you and split the cost between the 3 people going however they feel is the fairest, but as you aren’t staying, you shouldn’t be in that conversation.

Quit moaning and just back out. Even if you go now the whole thing will be soured and won’t be fun. There’ll be an atmosphere and they will talk about staying the night and you’ll be excluded.

Absolutely this. I'd definitely remind them that it's their choice to do it on a date that you're not free = either pay more or move it!

Leave your poor DH out of this and moan to your friends instead. Pay your share only. If they are not happy they can find someone else to stay the night. Don't pay any extra, that's ridiculous!

@FancyBiscuitsLevel said.

I’d just say that given they are speaking their mind, you’d like to also and let them know that you’re disappointed that they chose to go on a night you cannot do. You cannot afford, or want to, pay for a hotel room you’re not using. Why aren’t they offering to split the total cost 3 ways? I wouldn't bother going

Split it three ways and block all three cf

I couldn't even be friends with people who thought this was ok to do. The fact they're even ok with this arrangement shows that they are utter bitches.

Why do they expect you to pay towards her birthday but not want to pay towards it themselves? They are seriously CF

Update :

just come off phone to C and she said she was happy to pay the extra and understood I couldn’t stay that night. Her DH was going to pay for it as a birthday treat. But she said thinking about it now she’d rather us all do something else than me be left out.

But now I have a sour taste about twins

I explained on the phone I am happy to just go for the day but I was a bit disappointed as I wanted to do the whole experience with them, she told me she understood that and would rather us all do something together and stay the night

Why don't you all go for the day not overnight and then do another thing another night?
Or pick a hotel that does accept singles.
Basically they've picked a day you cannot do. Not your fault if you were clear !
Sorry just read update. Sounds like C has decided what she wants which is another night

Had you said you’d go, and then pulled out, that would be different.

But if from the start, you said you’d only go for the cream tea, then that’s different. Plus you already said you would pay sone more.