Friends expecting me to pay for room I’m not sleeping in!

[Shouldiorshouldinotthen]

A group of 4 of us have been planning to stay in a fancy hotel not too far away from home for a much needed break from being mums to our young children.

In our friendship group is myself, twins A&B and my friend C. We have decided as it is friends C 30th coming up we will go near her birthday.

I have told the girls, plenty of times that I cannot stay the night on 9th Nov. Well now they’ve told me in the group it’s going to be 9th because it is the only night C can find childcare and it’s her birthday.

For the spa facilities and a cream tea at the hotel its £45.99

For the night it’s £380 (minimum 2 people) and you get the spa, cream tea, dinner with bottomless cocktails, stay the night and breakfast.

Twins A&B are sharing a room so their fee is £189.99 per person. Because I am unable to stay the night friend C has been told they don’t take single person in a room and she will have to pay £380. I have told her I will pay the £45.99 for the spa and cream tea as I’m not having the dinner, breakfast or staying the night.

But the twins have text me to say I am out of order not paying more and it’s C’s birthday. I’m expecting her to pay a silly amount. I should’ve offered to pay more. I said I can pay £25 more but £70 is already a lot of cream tea and a dip in the pool.

It is quite obvious they expected me to pay the full £189.99, despite the fact I’m not staying over night

Not sure if any of this makes sense but - AIBU!

Can I just ask where you’re getting a spa day with cream tea for £45.99? Because I’d like to book it. I’ve just paid nearly £100 for just a spa day no extras included

You can usually find stuff like that on Wowcher or Groupon

Yes definitely they need to split it 3 ways.

C sounds lovely.

you and C have a spa day, say if the twins want to have a night away that’s their choice.

then maybe you and c look at dates you two can do something with the money you saved, another night away or maybe go to a gig/ show.

I'm not surprised C is onside, she'd be 3rd wheel to the twins and sleeping alone in a room anyway

Send this thread to the twins!

If they’re that bothered about friend paying so much they could chip in an extra £70 each and then it’s split 3 ways. I assume they’re not actually bothered enough to do that though…

The other alternative is to find somewhere else similar where single rooms can be booked. Expecting you to pay for an overnight stay when you are attending for lunch and a massage is nuts.

This.

A&B sound like absolute treats and that they are controlling.
C sounds like a lovely friend.
I wouldn’t be going in any shape or form but would arrange to do something with C.
I honestly can’t believe the CF behaviour I see on here.

The person staying in the room on their own should pay for their stay.
You made it clear you weren’t staying but they chose to book on that date.
the fact they expect you to pay more and have commented on it is worse, I’d cancel completely just for the way they think they can say you should pay more! Who needs friends like those?!

C sounds lovely and she obviously values your friendship.

Do A&B have form for trying to write the rules for the group?

Thanks for asking this! I want to know as well!

The twins were passing the buck so they didn't have to pay.

YANBU. The twins are annoyed because they know they should be splitting the total cost of the two rooms three ways.

I honestly don't know what is wrong with some people.

sometimes on MN I can at least see the other person's POV even if I disagree but can't eve imagine how A&B possibly think this is fair. They are already being rude by choosing the only day you couldn't do, then expecting you to pay anyway is just ridiculous!

I can see why you'd be tempted to just sack them off completely and not bother going to whatever C does end up arranging but it would be a bit unfair on her given she clearly wants to do something with all of you for her birthday. So I'd probably go along with the rescheduled Jan date or whatever you end up doing but then reconsider how much I saw of A&B.

Just tell the twins to pay the extra.

I’ve already been looking on both of those and cheapest I can find is £60 with nothing included

Tell them to ask for a rollaway bed in the twins' room and all 3 share that room.

C sounds like a decent friend.
The twins are cheeky fuckers.

I’d actually just remind them they chose this date knowing full well you couldn’t make it. They clearly knew that they would be one down so the cost should be on them. I’d now back out altogether and just say get someone to go as you now feel it would be uncomfortable for everyone whichever way it turns out. Personally I think they’re being pretty bloody low booking it when they knew you couldn’t stay anyway.

You told them you weren't staying the night. It's up to them to sort it out not you.

If they think someone should help C out with the cost, then it should be them. They knew you wouldn't be staying but they still went ahead and booked it, so it's their problem. Don't give in to them OP.

The twins are being obnoxious, I think they probably were not fussed if you go or not, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they pushed for the day you can’t do. Your mutual friend seems to be more interested in wanting to have spent the day with you.

Why the twins thought you should chip in for the friend, when they aren’t contributing to her costs at all, is petty. I just think they don’t like you, sorry, so anything you would have done to stand up for yourself would have caused offence to them.

Why don't you all 4 go for cream tea and spa on the actual birthday and then book an overnight stay in January when you can all go. That way no one misses out or have to pay for rooms which ur not using and you all get a treat twice.

Why do people have to complicate things?