To report my private school friend?

[Reeeeee]

I have a friend, we will call her Polly for the purpose of this thread. Polly and I both send our children to an esteemed private school. This term, we were given the option to pay fees up front, which we both did. Polly gets a sizeable discount for her DD as she is part of the bursary scheme at the school. This morning, Polly and I were discussing the Fees in Advance scheme, and she gleefully told me that she no longer needs to hide her income from the bursar as she won’t be assessed again. She admitted she has been hiding maintenance from her ex (over £1,000 a month) as well as self-employed income.

I do not want to see her DD disadvantaged or for any negative repercussions to befall her. However, I feel livid that my friend has scammed the school in this way. My husband and I work incredibly hard to send our DD to the school and it’s not always easy, we have to make sacrifices and go without. Suffice to say, I won’t be spending time with Polly again.

I was being sarcastic…

All the bursary assessments we had included questions about any help available from grandparents. In our case these were answered along the lines of "occasional small scale help possible but not in a position to provide large regular amounts", and also noting that both sets had 5 grandchildren altogether. The company that did initial home visits were I think also noting obvious lifestyle factors. Furthermore, my husband was discreetly asked about my extremely low income despite evidence of professional qualifications; which was as they guessed largely due to mental health issues derailing my career.

I realize that, I was agreeing with you 😂

What evidence have you got? Actual, hard EVIDENCE, not chatter in a playground ?
She could be joking to wind you up or it may be pretense to make her out to be wealthier than she really is. How are you going to prove cash in hand payments. How do you think the school or HMRC are going to prove it. Do you really think the authorities will launch a large scale investigation based on playground hearsay. Please, have a word with yourself.

Are you 10?

Which is party why our country is in the state that it is. Its dishonesty and wrong.

Er nothing in life is actually fair tho 🥱

I wouldn't sweat about it. Only 1% of bursaries go to children from families in genuine need. The vast majority go to high achieving kids from educated middle class homes.

A lot of people swindle the system slightly.

I know two people who are driving on the roads without driving licences. One of them is a 40 year old man, and one of them is a sixty year old woman!

They both told me.

I know of several people who claimed unemployment benefit while working cash in hand as well.

People do these things sometimes to get by.

I've never thought of reporting them.

I can see thought that it would be more annoying if I had to pay full fees, and someone else was getting away with only paying half fees.

That would be irritating alright.

Its up to you what you do

whether

I knew a mum who didn’t report rental income on a London flat, while she lived very modestly renting very small cottage in country. Two in private school in bursary. Divorced and ex employed no idea her money situation.

she did sewing “on the side”

I don’t think worse of her, my life is richer for having known her. My kids benefitted from knowing hers.

There are far worse things happening.

In the context of class oppressors it would.
Lighten up you absolute victim.

It’s not really to get by is it 🤣 it’s a luxury and is exactly why introducing VAT to them is needed.

Life is unfair and full of injustices. Not sure if Polly doing this actually prevents another child from getting a bursary for that school. Considering that education is free for all; I'm not sure that anyone is being affected by Polly's dishonesty.
It is clear that u are very annoyed and resentful of Polly but I'm not sure that reporting her is the answer. I do think u should tell Polly your thoughts on her dishonesty ( in a calm way) and consider if you will be able to 'put this to bed' in your mind.

Yeah this. Really struggling to care!

Well I do know one of them and she did a little bit of cash in hand work, while claiming benefits.

I honestly couldn't care less.

So what if she made a little bit of money on the side.

If the system ever catch it she would just have to pay it back.

But I definitely wouldn't ever report her

'I can only assume'
'I’m not entirely sure'

Your information seems a bit patchy!

She said she gets cash she doesn’t put through her books as well as putting through high expenses so her overall income appears much lower. She said she did this specifically to hide it from the bursar and is pleased she doesn’t need to anymore!

How old is the child? Won't Polly's income be reassessed in 2 years' time if she's only paid for 2 years in advance?

And morals have absolutely NOTHING to do with whether u go to a private /state school

Of course they do. Plenty of people have moral reasons they won't send their children to private schools!

😂😂 What?

💯

Because fees in advance schemes are a vehicle to get a discount and would (previously) avoid VAT.

If a parent can raise that amount then it would be expected they pay current fees at full rate and then reapply.

If you are receiving a bursary then your bursary will be uplifted to take the VAT element into account if you are in genuine need and the school has the means to fund them.

It is absolutely wrong to offer discounted fees owing to affordability issues and to then also benefit from further discounts using an FIA scheme.

That's not what I was replying to

Suppose the parent was awarded a bursary 5 years ago and now the the child's grandparents find themselves in a position to pay the future fees (maybe they downwized their home) and offer to do so, that doesn't mean that the parent has been fraudulently claiming the bursary in the past which was what a pp seemed to be suggesting

She’s bloody stupid to tell you and to announce it loudly in the playground if she is doing this!

Oh sorry I misunderstood.