To think stay-at-home parents have it easier than they let on?

[bappening]

I'm tired of hearing stay-at-home parents complain about how hard their day is. AIBU to think that working parents have it harder since they have to juggle work and home life?

The thing that made me realise working was easier than being a sahm was the set start and finish time . The commute as well that was an in between ground to prepare for the day / wind down from the day. Being a sahm I found I had to be 100% from the second I woke up till the second I fell asleep .

I've been one14 years due to MH.

Dh is military no way could he stay home doing the house kids tea and obviously I couldn't do his job.

For me this is easier than going out to work but I know a lot of mums who put their toddlers into nursery even on their days off because they aren't used to having them on their own.

Depends on the age of the children. I’ve worked part time since before my children went to school. It used to be that my days at home were much harder. Now my children are in school my days off are dreamy. I have time to go to the gym and then I stick music on and clean and tidy the house. Dinner already cooking when I pick the children up and I’ve prepped their uniform ready for the next day etc.

our evenings are way more chilled and I actually have time to sit with them and do homework and chat to them. They do all their clubs on my days off too as I actually have time to get them dinner and then to the clubs without stress.

now my kids are at school I’d love to be a SAHM. It’s really relaxing.

Completely but you’ve posted at the wrong time of day. Unless there’s people on MN at work or with Wednesday off, you’ll have all the SAHMs replying. Of course they are going to feel as though they are as busy as a working parent to a small child. Though I cannot for the life of me see how. The washing and cooking and drudgery of life admin does not go away except you’ve got work to contend with too - how can that be easier?

I did both but had 2 under 2. 12 and 14 years later I'm still traumatised but I'm autistic.

I’ll get back to you when I’ve finished my telly binge

Depends how old the kids are. I had a month off between jobs with a 3 and 5 year old and it was the most relaxing month of my adult life!

That was the last 2 weeks of the summer hols (3 for my youngest as he went back to preschool a week later). So I only had 1 week to myself whilst they were at school. It was amazing. I wouldn’t say I sat down but I did all the house admin whilst the kid(s) we’re at school so when I collected them I wasn’t distracted.

I adored that time and it inspired me to
work less!

It depends on your personal strengths, your children and your work.
My FT work was super stressful and I'm currently working part time self employed. I had to do all the childcare when not in work and it was dreadful.
Looking after a toddler all day is pretty draining but there's not the stress of a high-stakes job. I can't wait to build up my business though.
SAHM to a newborn is pretty nice and relaxing IMO as they sleep so much.

Depends on the job and it depends on the child. And it also depends on the personality and skill set of the parent in question. The level of involvement there is from the child's other parent. The support that is available from extended family and/or a wider social network etc. The financial situation of the family, and the extent to which parents have had choices about how they organise their lives.

So many variables that will impact on people's individual experiences. Either way, it isn't a competition and nobody gets a medal for having the hardest life.

But you don't work and parent at the same time

You don't cease to be a parent though, juggling illness, drop offs, school holidays etc is far far more stressful when you have to balance it with paid employment. During maternity leave when DS was poorly although it wasn't overly nice of course, it was great to be in a position to not have to phone into work and hope you won't lose your job- even with me and DH sharing the load of taking time off it is challenging. To be able to do housework as and when throughout the day rather than rushing after being at work all day, doing DS' bedtime etc was much easier.

Not saying being a SAHP is easy, or that working is harder, it depends on so many factors; but I don't really recognise this version of just going to work and not ever having to make concessions or whatever.

Probably depends on your kids and their age. I found returning to work much easier than looking after a toddler, work days much easier than weekend.

This. There are so many factors. I see being a SAHP as a job and how easy someone finds it compared to how easy someone finds a paid job, is dependent on them, the job, the kids, the tasks involved etc. Yes there are parts of staying at home that are easier, but parts that are harder. I think you should try and bring your own joy to your life rather than bothering yourself with other peoples and whether you think their feelings are justified or not.

Being a SAHP to school age kids, with a partner with a decent level of income, would be DREAMY.

Yeah whatever bot/journalist/bored person being a Tw*t

For you (and most) maybe but I hate it. I think it depends on MH / disabilities.

Perhaps it is 'easier' but please don't make it an accusation as if they have done something wrong by not living the stress that others have.

I was a SAHM for 5 years, I have now worked full time for 3 years. Being a SAHM is much more intense and even though my job can be very stressful and I can be exhausted at the end of the day, this is nowhere near as hard being a SAHM.

Well technically I am both,I’m at home all day until 5pm,housework done, laundry done everyone is fed,once dh is home I go to work.

then she's not a SAHM any more, she's just lazy.

Cried tears of sweet relief on my last day of ML. Skipped into work with a massive smile on my face. Hated it. Love my family-work balance now.

I think if all children are school aged with no additional needs, then yes, I think SAHP is easier. A lot of the comments on this thread about the disadvantages of staying at home have referenced no break, no quiet, no going to the loo in peace etc, so obviously not talking about children in school for 6 hours a day. Once they're in school you've got ~30 hours a week to yourself (in term time of course).

Being a full time SAHM to a toddler is my personal idea of hell. I would find it incredibly difficult.

We don't need it to be a competition. Some could be terrible at it, others amazing. Leave people, women mainly, alone and stop with the unimaginative put down threads.

How about giving some examples of the kind of things SAHP complain about and why you think their complaints are invalid? I hear them say that the constant need to pay attention is tiring, also the mess that tends to go with small children, and the repeated picking up and putting down the child is hard on the back. If the child is a poor sleeper then they are tired from that but don't get a few minutes during the day to stretch their legs in a brisk walk or read a book as refreshment or chat uninterrupted to another adult. Do you think none of that is true?

I loved being a SAHM, did it for more than 10 years. Just because I loved it it doesn’t mean that it was always easy. We didn’t have any financial concerns, had a cleaner and local family to take a dc or 2 here and there. I had a very blessed time as a sahp. Now I work and my kids are a bit older, it’s infinitely better to be working and not have to constantly be wondering what to do today every day for 6 weeks 😂

I found it easier working - much better boundaries and TBH work was simpler than child care. I've done both at different stages of my children's lives.