To think stay-at-home parents have it easier than they let on?

[bappening]

I'm tired of hearing stay-at-home parents complain about how hard their day is. AIBU to think that working parents have it harder since they have to juggle work and home life?

Both options can be equally tough for different reasons.

Ah, I hadn’t seen a WOHP vs SAHP thread for a little while… good to see the old resentment and rivalry are still alive.
FFS

I always worked pt, short hours.
Never a full sahm.
Being at home was honestly a doddle.
I loved it.

SAHM with two under 3 = no, must be full on

SAHM with school age children = almost certainly

You’ve started a thread inviting people to complain about being a SAHP, when you’re fed up of hearing people complain about being a SAHP. Genius.

I think you need to differentiate between people who are stay at home parents for the majority of a marriage - sweet deal - and people who call themselves stay at home parents during their 9 month maternity. Being full time by yourself with a baby is emotionally draining in a way most jobs aren't.

I found it far more rewarding to be a sahm than the periods where I worked pt and ft as a parent but the change of pace between shifting modes with the latter meant I finished the day with more energy.

I've done both, they both have have challenges. I think working is better for my mental health though, my time at home was plagued by bouts of depression.

Depends on the child. Your circumstances. What job you do. Totally impossible to generalise.

How about not easier, not harder, just different

I mean it depends. I was on garden leave from work for 3 months. My child is at school so I had 6 hours a day to myself to do what I wanted. I did bits of house work every day so it's not like I was cleaning constantly. Definitely a shoosh compared to doing school runs and maintaining the house on top of now working full time.

But I imagine most SAHPs don't have kids at school and they're providing childcare all day which I think would be difficult as you don't have any freedom. When I clean the house it stays clean because my child is older and at school most of the day. I imagine it would be constant with toddlers and babies messing things up. It's not like you can leave a couple of toddlers to watch TV or colour in while you go clean the bathroom or make lunch. They need constant attention. My friends husband works away and she stays home to look after their 18 month old. They also have an 8yo in school. She has no support from family so she always has the baby by her side and the only break she gets is when the kids are in bed. I couldn't do what she does.

Comparison is the thief of joy!!!

Your post reeks of jealousy.

Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine OP?

We have had this for a while.
Some working parents have it harder
Some SAHPs have it harder.
I'd love to be back at work but with a child with complex needs who can't even attend school 2 hours a day it's not going to happen.
Still I suppose I have it easier than working parents. 🤔

This will probably turn into a bunfight.

I've done both and SAHP was far easier. It can be relentless but you can stay in your pyjamas all day if you want, no deadlines to meet or pressure to perform, no real expectations.

Probably depends what job you do though. I work in customer services and it is in no way relaxing or peaceful.

My abusive ex thinks everything has to be a competition too, I cant be tired he must always be tireder. I can't have worked hard, he was always working harder. I'll raise you three SEN kids, being disabled myself and in constant agony, or you know we could just be adults and not state stupid absolutes. I have NFI what you're life is like and you have no idea what life is like for other parents with other family set ups, other jobs, other kids. If you spend a couple days in my body though odds would be pretty damn good you'd be running back to yours and thanking your lucky stars after a few hours.

I think SAHP and those working, both have a mixture of pros and cons. The sooner, we open our minds and stop pitting everyone against each other the better.

I did find it difficult when my cousin who is a sahm (and has a husband) with school aged children shared that her life as a full time mum was as hard as mine (on mat leave with a baby, single, no time to myself at all and having to do everything and pay for everything!)

No I have been both and working is easier. However we have no support network and not loads of disposable income so no tasks are outsourced. My answer may been different if I had those things.

Depends on the mum and child. I'm a sahm and I find it "easier" than working - it's not really easier but I hated working and I love being a sahm so it doesn't feel like work. I get enjoyment, pleasure and fulfilment unlike I ever got from my job which bored me to tears.

Depends on the circumstances. There are families with 5, 6+ children and they homeschool. Should think they are a tad busier than you dropping off your one kid at nursery and pootling off to your desk.

These kind of debates are the absolute worst of mumsnet.

.

Yes- I love people telling me I’m lucky, that I have it easy, calling me a kept woman, saying dh is so good taking on all the load, doing everything seven days a week and being expected to never stop because it’s your job! Never getting paid, having to discuss purchases that aren’t household items, never really having money, having all friends and relatives ask me to run about for them because‘but you’re at home anyway, aren’t you?’

We talk about it like it’s hard because we’re allowed talk and moan too!! Job hunting for four months now so also get the ‘hopefully you get an actual job soon’ on top of it all while knowing when I do get a job nothing will change and AGAIN I’ll end up leaving in a year or two because I’m so close to being fired for kid related stuff. Op whoever your beef is with, why don’t you talk to them, tell them you have it harder, you’re better etc etc. we love hearing that!!

I guess it depends on how you approach being a sahm too. If you're the type that lounges around in pjs, with no expectations of what to do with yourself in the absence of the structure of a working day, then staying at home with your child must look like a fairly literal and joyless affair, but doubtless easier.

It depends on lots of things the age of the children, their personalities, their needs level. I don't really care what other people are doing or how they live. Being a SAHP isn't easy and I don't doubt that being a working patent isn't easy either.