To think stay-at-home parents have it easier than they let on?

[bappening]

I'm tired of hearing stay-at-home parents complain about how hard their day is. AIBU to think that working parents have it harder since they have to juggle work and home life?

I have it harder than her, who has it a bit easier than her neighbour on Wednesdays (but not on Mondays), but we all have it harder than that other one, who has it easier than those down the road, but not up the road where clearly, they have it harder.

Same here. Currently on maternity leave and dreading going back to work. God knows how I'm going to get up on time, get to work on time and get all of the housework done in the measley few hours that remain around work hours and still trying to get enough quality time with baby.

Being at home is easy! No schedule, no demands, no one telling you what to do all day, no annoying coworkers. I get to spend lots of time with family, doing fun baby groups, my house is the cleanest and most organised it's ever been, me and my husband have more time together than ever because we're not run ragged trying to get everything done on our days off it's all already done when he gets home so we enjoy our time together more.

I can only see work being easier than being a SAHP if you have an easy job with low stakes.

I definitely agree SAHMs whining on about how it's "the hardest job in the world" are irritating while the rest of us run ourselves ragged trying to do twice the amount of stuff in half the time.

Especially when no one makes them do it! Go back to work if that's bad!

Working parents know exactly what looking after children is like, they do it all evening after doing a full days work and all day on their days off, we really don't need it to be explained to us what looking after children is like, we do it!

Exactly.

Like you said, looking after our children all day is considered to be our day off.

How do you get being a SAHP wrong?

I only work 14 hours a week OP, so barely even part time but I agree with you. I loved being at home - it was so much easier than being at work. I’d rather be a SAHM than work.

But do you not rest easy knowing that you childcare has ensured they have a balanced week of doing things to develop their personal, social and emotional development, their physical development, communication, plus understanding the world, arts and design etc.

I know I did. I regularly thought 'fuck it, I'm not doing finger painting, cooking, glitter models or going for a walk in the rain - nursery did that already this week. And instead I'd watch disney and eat popcorn.

No... I enjoy doing all those activities with my children. I certainly don't see it as someone else's job do all that stuff so I don't have to

But maybe they would be?

I enjoy a lot of it too. Although I struggle to enjoy small world play. It makes me want to poke my eyes out. I also can't really enjoy those orchard board games although it was nice to see my child happy.

But I still feel like there is a massive difference between having to do it as you are the only person providing those opportunities and knowing that it has been done well by nursery so you can focus on a nice calm evening before bed, or the bits you enjoy more at the weekend or have a nice rest day together.

On MN, the people who have most to say about SAHMs are usually the one who know they themselves couldn't do it! The ones who, by their own admission, couldn't wait to get back to work at the earliest opportunity - literally the day their baby hit 6 months, they were skipping back to work quicker than you could say Jack flash! Some mums find it very difficult being home with children, to the point they can't do it for a day longer than they have to. Other mums can't bring themselves to use childcare; or they feel more stressed being at work. Each to their own! One woman's 'easy' is another woman's nightmare.

Of course they have it easier. They always did. It’s not a full time job, bringing up kids and housework. But, it depends on whether a parent wants to work or is forced into it through finances. 🤷‍♀️

You can be a SAHM and say fuck it some days and watch Disney and eat popcorn anyway because you don’t have a boss breathing down your neck, no deadlines etc and you can manage your own day.

I consider work a break from six days a week with my two year old!

He probably wouldn't have to work such long hours if you worked as well.

When do you get time to sit and watch said film if your toddler is climbing numerous things and getting into cupboards? 😊😂

Why can’t we accept that both working mums and stay at home mums have stresses and difficulties in their lives? It isn’t a competition, and we gain NOTHING by tearing each other down.

If that’s the case then that’s the case no matter if you attempt to watch Disney with popcorn as a SAHM or during your day off work.

Salmoney

I was working but quit because my son was getting sick regularly and because he’s so far away I was the one to have to leave work to get him. My manager was close to finding a way to fire me because I was in and out so much. Also our childcare fell through as they didn’t have transport from the schools (we have 4 kids) so we were literally week to week putting them in three different childcare settings according to availability. Trying to find a job at the moment but looking forward to next year when we’ll inevitably be in the same position and I’ll have to quit again.

Okay, will you look after my child with highly complex needs while I do that? Or tell me a job I can do for 90 minutes a day while he's at school?
Of course looking after an easy baby is nicer than working but it's not always as simple as just go back to work then? If you love being at home so much stay at home.

I don’t know why some people try to make it seem like children are literally impossible.

I choose to work full time because I personally just can’t justify the loss of lifestyle and lack of future savings for my kids but I had 2 14/15month maternity leaves, the second with a baby and 2-3 year old so a decent experience at being a sahm.
I’m not even arguing which is easier because it’s irrelevant and personal dependant but the people who moan about not even having a cup tea past the baby stages are so dramatic.

You don’t need to justify being a sahm by making it seem like you’re rushed off your feet every single second.

Just to point out that looking after a baby on maternity leave is much easier than a feral toddler.

@HorsePeopleAreStablePeople come and look after my toddler for a day. 😉

Hahahaha.

I just wait to the evening or cram it in the small time he has a nap. We aren't in the house very often during the day anyway as easier to stop the house being destroyed if we aren't there.

Maybe don’t raise your children to be feral then?