To ask millionaire partner to agree to this term in ‘prenup’

[junohername]

Plan is we will be cohabiting and planning this move in the next 12 months after my dd finishes secondary school.
I won’t uproot myself or my (older) DH without some kind of security I want no claim on any of his assets -I’m a broke single mum with a small home in my own name (which I plan to rent out) I’ve had years of making ends meet and that’s fine by me.
I will pay all expenses towards my dc food/car etc and dp will pay mortgage and bills -
in case the relationship should break down I want written into an agreement that I have 6 months to relocate - I may have to sell my house if we settle in the new place (Dd will be at college etc) and an assurance we will not be kicked out
He thinks this is too long and wants me to revise the terms
Long term he would like for me to work for his company - I want to remain independent and work outside of the business again to cover myself in case our relationship goes south
I love him- he’s a good man- 3 years in no red flags but my divorce was hideous and I think ironing out everything before is sensible moving forwards
I don’t want to worry my family by asking them (they’d be my go to usually)
any advice would be great received
We would be moving to a beautiful area for a fresh start (lots of trauma here) and it will be a beautiful big home so in that respect it will be better than where we are.
I do NOT want to ever marry again so I’m guessing rather than prenuptial this would be a pre cohabitation agreement drawn up legally

What? Why can’t you save that money and pay for yourself??

I’d assume the fact she’s skint is the issue.

I wouldnt bother. Just find somebody with less baggage.

I'd marry with a binding prenup to protect his wealth if that's what he wants. I know you say you don't want to marry but would a break up be less devastating if unmarried?

He'd be paying for housing so presumably you'll have more money, save it in a fuck-off fund for if you ever need to move out in a hurry.

It's wise to think these things through, but what you want for the next two years might be different to what you want in the next two decades and beyond.

Yes but as long as she’s earning and has a decent credit rating, there’s no reason why he can’t put the deposit down and they both pay the mortgage. Their borrowing power will be higher with both of them on the mortgage and probably free up some cash to do the place up? Just a thought.

Exactly this. You hint that a) you don't believe your relations are for long; b) you don't trust him to behave nicely when you split.

So why do you move in together? ...Well, apart from the obvious fact that he is well off.
Your only right behaviour, if you want this relation to go on, is to show how much you are excited about the move and how much you are grateful for him for the opportunity. Without any 'but's and 'what ifs'.

OP, from your later post, I don't think you got your story straight or that you are thinking straight, probably both.

What baggage does he have?

ETA: Just reread the OP - she has had a horrible divorce, trauma, and will be moving into the new place with a child. Still not seeing what baggage he has though 🤔

I did think that as soon as I posted tbh! I’ve changed my mind and don’t think OP is entitled to anything just because the partner is rich (unless it was all his idea and he’s offering options)

Lots. A million bucks worth [being facetious]

Well done for thinking about this before moving in together. It's so sensible for you and him.

I think you should be able to save if you are getting money from renting your place out.

If he's a millionaire and you're a broke single mum it's a huge red flag he won't contribute towards any of your living expenses. Are you a couple or housemates with benefits?

I’m on his side, it sounds fair enough as is.
You’re up money wise living with him as you’ll have the rental income which you can set aside for a rainy day should it come. If you were kicked to the curb the rental income would pay for rent for somewhere for you wouldn’t it?

She's not!

I'm joking! I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough!! I'm just stunned by how many people said this.

unless DC were mid to older teens I’d not move their schools and housing to somewhere I couldn’t afford to stay if the relationship broke down, especially without marriage. Too much risk for you and the DC.

also no way I’d work for my much rwealthier partner’s company.

I'd say don't put yourself in this position while you have dependents. Once they are grown up it's a different level of risk and disruption.

I don't understand what this is either. You're not getting married and even if you were it wouldn't stand legally. I think if you could draw up terms and conditions of a relationship then everyone would do it but who are you going to turn to to enforce it? I think you need to have a back up fund just in case.

People do draw up cohabitation agreements

The lawyer recommended I do one with dp but it never happened.

Personally I wouldn't have agreed to pay anything to dp if we split up. I have amended my will though as all my assets go to the kids which could immediately make dp homeless as they would own the house. So I put in provision for a small lumpsum that would help him rent somewhere before he could move back into his house (he also owns a house his ex lives in).

I'm not sure money on split up will work in practice - especially if you've pissed each other off!

He is paying for the mortgage and all bills and she has to pay for her own dc food and expenses- wouldn’t say that he isn’t contributing

@DownThePubWithStevieNicks

shes already said she's not contributing to mtge ur bills, just paying her DC expenses at Uni or whatever.

@junohername

Given you'll not be paying any living expenses, why can't you save that to support yourself if you break up?

I think him agreeing to 3 months is more than fair, but considering he is loaded, he might prefer to agree to rent something fir you for 6 months IF he chooses to break it off (or causes you to - like an affair)

be careful to look properly into renting yours out.

I'd also say six months living in his home when you've split could be awful for both of you.
I do think you're right to try and put something in place though.

The fact he wants you to work for his company? That rings a bad bell. Unless you genuinely expressed interest in doing so and it's a field of expertise suitable for your usual career.

Even then, why not just recruit a stranger with the correct qualifications? If you have your own things going on he shouldn't feel the need to take that over.
You should stick to your guns on working for either yourself of someone other than your partner.

I hope you don't compromise on any of the things you want and need and focus on your own wellbeing.

I don't think she's being grabby. She's in a significantly worse financial position than her partner and doesn't want to be in a situation where they break up and she and her DC are tossed into the street the next day. She's willing to sign a pre-nup saying she does not want any of his assets, she just wants time to find a new place to live, in the event they break up.

Also, just because she owns her own property and rent it out, doesn't mean all the rent money is available. I imagine most of it goes to pay her own mortgage.

OP, I don't think you should work for your partner's company. I agree that it's better to maintain a bit of independence and, if it's a small family-type company, you don't want business disagreements to end up enroaching on your home life.

She's got a property she can rent out, she's not "broke"

I agree, wanting her to work for him rings alarm bells. As does expecting her to move when she still has dependents. The power dynamic is already clear here.