To ask millionaire partner to agree to this term in ‘prenup’

[junohername]

Plan is we will be cohabiting and planning this move in the next 12 months after my dd finishes secondary school.
I won’t uproot myself or my (older) DH without some kind of security I want no claim on any of his assets -I’m a broke single mum with a small home in my own name (which I plan to rent out) I’ve had years of making ends meet and that’s fine by me.
I will pay all expenses towards my dc food/car etc and dp will pay mortgage and bills -
in case the relationship should break down I want written into an agreement that I have 6 months to relocate - I may have to sell my house if we settle in the new place (Dd will be at college etc) and an assurance we will not be kicked out
He thinks this is too long and wants me to revise the terms
Long term he would like for me to work for his company - I want to remain independent and work outside of the business again to cover myself in case our relationship goes south
I love him- he’s a good man- 3 years in no red flags but my divorce was hideous and I think ironing out everything before is sensible moving forwards
I don’t want to worry my family by asking them (they’d be my go to usually)
any advice would be great received
We would be moving to a beautiful area for a fresh start (lots of trauma here) and it will be a beautiful big home so in that respect it will be better than where we are.
I do NOT want to ever marry again so I’m guessing rather than prenuptial this would be a pre cohabitation agreement drawn up legally

I think you need to speak to a lawyer. I don't think this agreement is enforceable. If you contribute to the mortgage you need to ring fence it. Will living with him mean you are able to save more?

Your best bet for financial security is marriage but I get you don't want that. If you can afford to save when moving in with him then get yourself in a position where you have x amount of months rent required to evict any tenants that would be in your property. He may well agree to paying rent or what ever for you now but things change in a split. You cannot expect him to financially protect you if you are moving into his property, unmarried and no joint children

Thank you

Please take financial advice on renting out your house.
It could become a nightmare of a tenant who won't leave.

As my previous post- consider selling it and using the equity for a stake in a home you buy together.

I won’t want any claim to DPs business, houses etc I’d just need reassurances we couldn’t be kicked out with no time to make arrangements

Great, you can do all that on your own steam by putting aside some money every month from the rent you save. As it always was.

Because she wants something out of the relationship just like in a divorce

You sound really sensible, which is so refreshing to hear.

My main advice would be to just tread carefully.

I am massively stereotyping but many millionaires have narcissistic tendencies.

Many successful men would not choose to go with an ‘unsuccessful’ woman, unless they could benefit them in other ways (be a live in housekeeper type role).

The fact that you admit you are a broke, single parent and then he wanted you to work in his business has made my alarm bells go off massively.

I think you are being very sensible by having a ‘way out’ if you ever need to.

You will be pretty well off when you are living together though.

You have your own place which you will be renting out, which should pay the mortgage.

You’ll be working FT and only paying half of the bills and for your DC, which leaves you with plenty and I would take say 20% of this each month and put it into a savings account so if you broke up you could rent somewhere until you can get your home back.

As with any unmarried couple, I believe the best way to do things is have separate accounts and then a joint account for shared bills and expenses.
E.g 50% each.
So both of you would put in 50% of your wages.
For you it may only be £10k a year and for him it may be £50k+ a year but all joint expenses like bills should be taken from the joint account.
The other 50% is for you to both do what you want with it, whether that’s spending it all or saving it and in your position I would try and save as much as you can.

Yes, the benefit without the burden, albeit a limited one because she does not want claim to his assets.

What a broke person is considered in the UK? Someone who has 0 savings, 0 income, 0 what? the lady has got a house on her name and some salary ?

I will thank you. This wasn’t an option but seriously considering that could be an option- potentially selling the house and using the equity and contributing this to next home.

Do you have a financial advisor? You should try to find one.

The rental market is going through massive changes.

If your P is a property developer he should be well-placed to know the state of the market and values.

I think you need to think hard about the rental. It may be a great idea. It may not. You will need to pay for someone to manage it as you're moving away - that will eat into your income.

I do have a friend whose relationship ended in her mid 60s when she moved back to the home she owned and had rented out. It worked out fine for her. But that was over 10 years ago!
But just be aware of the downsides.

@junohername Hope everything works out
And haven’t come across as grabby.Think it’s important to always consider the practicalities, when you take the next step, in a relationship.

The work thing doesn’t set my bells ringing because I am brilliant at my job and it relates to his business (it’s how we met) it wouldn’t be a PA role for example it’s quite niche.

I want to maintain my independence in this field and so the plan was I would be finding a new job when I relocate.

It isn’t enforceable but many posters seem to misinterpret that OP wants to stay there for 6 months - of course she doesn’t. She wants time to be able to find alt accommodation and ensure she can’t be thrown out on the street at a moment’s notice.

This may sound odd to you but if this relationship broke down the extent he was 'kicking you out' , you'd want to leave asap.

Kicking you out would mean legal enforcement .

If he was that nasty, you'd leave and go to a Premier Inn or rent an Airbnb until you could find a rental of your own then sell your own home.

Do you need to rent out house immediately? Can you see how it goes before making any long term commitments? Have you rented out your house before? It can take a long time to get tenants out - I don't think if I want to risk this if I had dependents. Where would you go if things went pear shaped? It may not be that quick to find another accommodation whilst waiting for tenants to move out your property.

This would make more sense and put you in a better light. It is in keeping with your wanting to continue to have a stake in the relationship, rather than focusing on things going wrong.

Much easier to sell this to your partner (and I think better financial outcome for you and your dcs) than to ask him how you can protect yourself if the relationship or living together breaks down.

Of course the relationship could still break down and you would still want to move out but he could not kick you out at a moment's notice as you are also on the deeds. So your objective is achieved. You will sell the joint property and you will get a share (which is equivalent to the sales proceeds of your previous property with hopefully an uplift from the market).

Legally although you are both on the title deeds (make sure you are on the title deeds), you would hold as tenants in common with a separate deed setting out your respective shares.

"in case the relationship should break down I want written into an agreement that I have 6 months to relocate ... He thinks this is too long and wants me to revise the terms"

I just would not be moving in with him.

It’s essential you work out all the details now. Don’t assume it will work out and don’t assume he’d be decent if you separate.

Who is getting legal advice here? Him? You? It should be both of you

You could state instead that he has to pay for your living accommodation for a few months if it goes sour instead. This way you aren’t stuck living together and aren’t homeless.

This. Pre-nups aren't legally binding (but can be used as a guide when sorting finances upon divorce) but as you're not marrying this doesn't actually matter.

I don't think there's such a thing as a pre-cohabitation agreement that could be enforced in any way, by either party.

You're effectively moving into his property and will have zero legal claim to it - therefore financial claim, or rights of occupancy.

If you want legal protection you should consider marriage as that is the only way to protect your home (otherwise you're out on your ear immediately should things go south).

Otherwise you walk away with what you brought - with no notice.

so many red flags

is he really a millionaire? Why do you even know this? Why is he getting a mortgage to buy a place? I get that millionaires are not mega rich these days but even so.

why do you have to get a new job?
why are you both putting an offer in for the new place?
in terms of renting out your house, I’d be very careful and get yourself updated with Labour’s plans to shaft homeowners and (decent) landlords, you may not want this option after doing some research.

it all seems one sided and people can be subtly manipulative to get what they want. Don’t rush into anything.

Don't sell your house. If he's a millionaire, you don't need to. Rent it out if needs be but do not sell your house

Its very clearly not a marital asset if you've owned it beforehand so keep hold of it. It's your security blanket.

I understand your sensible approach @junohername . You have been given a hard time on here uneccesarily ( by some). There is no need, given your request for advice, for posters to be questioning you or your partners decisions and morals.

I'm in a similar position but the other way on. My DP moved into my house. It is mortgage free.
I don't want to remarry having been through an awful divorce.
Having come home at the end of a working day, to find a ‘for sale board’ at the end of the lane where I lived with my husband and children….to wonder who was moving? ….to find it was me, is very sobering.
I never want to be in a position where decisions are taken away from me, taking away mine and my children’s home.
Planning ahead, thinking through the risks, as you are, minimises them.
It isn't calculating, it is good sense.

In addition to the good advice offered around buying the house proportionately together, I would also suggest you both add to pension pots for the long term and also seek legal advice regarding wills.

My DP and I have just written our wills with the advice of a solicitor, making sure that my children don't lose out on their inheritance ( my house) if I die first, but also making sure that my DP can stay in our home ( my house) for life, before my DC’s inherit. The solicitor was excellent in writing this legally and including advice around what would happen if my DP couldn't maintain a large house, could he sell and reinvest and also considering whether my children would be liable for my DP’s nursing care from the house. ( he is very solvent too, so no playing the system). We also agreed appropriate division of cash assets between all of our children.

I hope this helps you in your exciting next steps.

Completely understand OP thinking about all scenarios and this is another to seriously think about OP, if you haven’t already.

Thanks so much