To ask millionaire partner to agree to this term in ‘prenup’

[junohername]

Plan is we will be cohabiting and planning this move in the next 12 months after my dd finishes secondary school.
I won’t uproot myself or my (older) DH without some kind of security I want no claim on any of his assets -I’m a broke single mum with a small home in my own name (which I plan to rent out) I’ve had years of making ends meet and that’s fine by me.
I will pay all expenses towards my dc food/car etc and dp will pay mortgage and bills -
in case the relationship should break down I want written into an agreement that I have 6 months to relocate - I may have to sell my house if we settle in the new place (Dd will be at college etc) and an assurance we will not be kicked out
He thinks this is too long and wants me to revise the terms
Long term he would like for me to work for his company - I want to remain independent and work outside of the business again to cover myself in case our relationship goes south
I love him- he’s a good man- 3 years in no red flags but my divorce was hideous and I think ironing out everything before is sensible moving forwards
I don’t want to worry my family by asking them (they’d be my go to usually)
any advice would be great received
We would be moving to a beautiful area for a fresh start (lots of trauma here) and it will be a beautiful big home so in that respect it will be better than where we are.
I do NOT want to ever marry again so I’m guessing rather than prenuptial this would be a pre cohabitation agreement drawn up legally

She is begging a rich man to get into his house and begging for mercy if he decides or she decides is not working out. This is not a good start for any relationship, even though the poster said he loves her to bits. Where are these bits, I am not sure. This should be a Pretty woman movie, a Cinderella and happily ever after.

I wouldn’t give up a property I was living in, whether renting or owning, unless I had guaranteed security of a home in the event of a split. You would be giving up everything to have no financial power in the relationship and this could leave you and your daughter very vulnerable.

Speak to a lawyer. Get everything recorded. Perhaps consider agreeing a sum of money that is put into an escrow account and earmarked as relocation fund if necessary.

Given your situation, I think you are absolutely right to protect yourself. I’ve been divorced before and it’s really hard to start again, especially when you have dependents . My suggestion would be that perhaps you can own a small percentage of the home you are about to buy so that you have some funds tied up in the property, which means he could either buy you out or agree to sell the property to free up your share of the shit should hit the fan. Also, this means that your percentage of the property is likely to increase in value overtime giving you an extra cushion of income. As you have said you are going to rent out your own property which is the right thing to do but I just think you need to talk this through with him. I’m sure he will understand given past history. You just need to make him understand that you are nervous about being put in the same situation again , in spite of the fact that you feel he would never do that to you. I wish you all the best.

Where should this money come from?

Cohabitation agreements are a thing and are enforceable.
Making them when you like each other can really help when you break up the rules are the rules.
6m if you have a bad breakup, is torture and not necessarily appropriate for both of you. Maybe 12 weeks and some help with disposit/rent as a temporary measure?
I respect you trying to keep yourself safe and that he seems to be reasonable on finding a way that's comfortable.
Do not work for him though, even with a contract he can fire you due to "emotional distress" at any time without notice (ACAS confirmed this to a friend who works for her husband and just gone through a horrendous divorce). Continue to be smart and sensible, but do enjoy the relationship, hope you don't ever need these things !

Some of these responses are bizarre.

I think it’s very sensible that women have financial independence from their other half. This doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it’s just sensible planning. It is not planning a breakdown, it’s a worst case scenario. You’ve experienced when this has occurred without planning, so why put yourself through that again. Absoloutely sensible.

I don’t think you sound money grabbing at all. I also think he sounds very open to some sort of arrangement too and I’d also viewing it a pragmatic way. Kudos to you both.

My husband and I (when we got together years ago) had our house mortgage drawn up to state he out X amount in and me X and in the event of separation we would each take out initial stake and then split any profits 50/50 - this was to protect his inheritance he put in. This was my idea. As the years and new house went by we didn’t do that, and since had a child, relatively similar earnings etc. however if things went south we would financially be on equal footing. I never see this happening and been happily married for 10 years.

I would question whether rental is worthwhile - tax, issues selling and capital gains and getting a renter out should you need. I would be more inclined to consider selling and keeping a chunk back in a fund should you need to leave (put in an ISA so good returns but can also access it) and the remainder invest into the new house, so if you came to sell you’re also investing there and have ownership in the new properly so it is yours and not just his.

I wouldn’t be asking him for relocation funds, rental or a 6 month live in clause. You can manage this on your own. Pre-nups aren’t legally binding in the U.K. and if it were to get nasty he would have money to fight you in court - you wouldn’t, so don’t rely on this.

Maintain your independant from an employment perspective. This is just sensible from a risk perspective anyway. My DH met at work and now we chose to work at different companies to spread risk from redundancies etc if employers ever struggle or whatever.