My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

[Glasscabinet]

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

You're being precious. Your child has a kind and involved grandmother, which is more than many do. Humour your Mum, take a really nice picture, the best you possibly can, and have it properly printed for her, because that is the kind and gracious response..

You have to learn to unclench about these things a little bit - I was very like this when my first was born (my thing was baby dolls), and it just upsets you, upsets the generous and kind gift-giver and also exposes you as rude and ungracious to the people who love you most.

Just say thank you, send a photo, and never think about it again. Your dd will have outgrown it in 20 minutes anyway, so this is about 5 minutes of "trauma" for you all, max.

Couldn't have put it better. Don't be horrible to your mum Op.

I agree it's naff. But mainly she shouldn't be buying you something for your daughter to wear on the day when she knows you don't go in for that. She seems to think she can dress her up. She's not a doll.

The fact that she laughed and has acknowledged you will hate it gives you an easy way out though. Just laugh uproariously back with a "you know me so well. No way I'm coming to collect" and laugh it off.

You seem to have taken it very badly. I'm not sure it warrants such an angry response. You could waive it around as a joke on the day or hold it up in front of your dd for a lighthearted photo. I wouldn't necessarily dress her up in it for photos etc though as it will encourage your mum to do this again and it clearly grinds your gears, so try and put a stop to it now, but in a lighthearted but firm way if you can.

Oh, her mother doesn't take joy in overstepping OP's boundaries. More like she knows how antsy her DD is about baby clothes and chose to subvert their taste, to point out how antsy they are - wait till DD wants a pink princess dress, OP, with a tiara! I was grateful for every garment my mothers-in-law gave my children and they bloody well wore them while they fit, because baby clothes have a clean life of about 2 hours before they're sick, stick chocolate all over it or get poo everywhere. I would cherish that dress too (I still have the little pink pinafore and white T-shirt my late MiL bought for my DD, now in her 40s then aged 3 months - it was given with love) because it shows DM has a good sense of humour - and is pointing out what DGD will likely be interested in wearing in the near future!
NB I choose clothes that are generally my taste, for DGC (don't do it very often) and I go for dark colours, classic cut and wearability. That's my taste. I have never asked DC what they think of what I've bought, only making sure it is good quality and will last a while. Usually, I buy books (sometimes ones I have written). I suspect they prefer my taste in books, but I have seen DGC in clothes I have bought.

Thing is it’s not her kid. Maybe the OP wanted the pleasure of choosing her daughter’s first birthday outfit.

Minus headband, I think it's lovely. Why would anybody laugh at seeing your daughter dressed in that outfit? It's entirely reasonable birthday party attire. As for your mum, it depends on how she was laughing and how she is normally. Was it fond laughter with her saying how she couldn't resist it etc or was she commenting on how you wouldn't like it in an unpleasant way and laughing AT you? I'm struggling to see the problem, really. Firstly, a gm buying her gd an outfit is not a problem and hardly unusual. Secondly, what would she personally gain from deliberately buying a dress that you wouldn't like? Thirdly, she gains absolutely nothing if you don't dress your daughter's in the gift anyway because she won't see it on. You sound precious, Op, a bit controlling and very ungrateful for gifts.

I agree with OP it’s awful dress .
just put her in in a take a pic then throw it out.
it’s a waste of money but it’s her waste of money, and a pointless way of making herself feel important.
ignore it and laugh it off.

This is quite ironic as "we" (ie society) think it's perfectly normal to wear totally impractical clothes for certain occasions - a fluffy white meringue dress for a wedding is the first thing that jumps to my mind - but babies apparently should only be dressed in gender neutral plain clothing it seems.
How dull 😂

Controlling?? Controlling is saying "here's a gift of £1000 for your daughter, but you must spend it on bibles/vegan food/bringing her to see me 4 times a week".

Spending £25 on a cheesy dress is just trying to do something nice that she thinks is cute but acknowledges that her taste is not the same as her daughter's.

Oh god, the "be kind and gracious" crew are out early...

I'd be annoyed about her buying something you won't like. It seems pointless and a bit spiteful?

But overall I'd assess the relationship as a whole. If it's usually good and she's a good grandmother, I'd probably put her in it for 15 minutes and get a few photos and then change her out, and talk to your mum at a later date about not buying things like that as it's wasteful and not your style.

If it's not usually great and she's got form for overriding your opinions, I'd just not reference it again, and say that she didn't want to wear it/it was damaged/it was dirty if she asks directly.

It doesn't look the most comfortable.

She doesn't like it

Pop her in it, take some lovely photos, give your mum one in a frame and then just retire that outfit to a very rarely opened draw.

Yes, and the mother KNEW she didn’t like it, which is the point many people are missing.

I’m really surprised so many posters think it’s ok and would take pictures humouring it. This isn’t the classic mum tried with the best of intentions and got it wrong so say you say thank you and take the photos so as not to hurt her feelings. She knows full well OP will hate it and doesn’t want it. She bought it anyway. I don’t see how it’s anything other than a lack of respect for boundaries and actually it’s pretty nasty because it’s a joke being made at OP’s expense. Also, way to make the DD’s first birthday all about her and her little joke. I would suggest that you nip it in the bud now, tell mum yes you’re right I do hate it and I hope you kept the receipt!

@MSLRT at aged 1 don't most babies still go through about 3 outfits a day ?
Is a "first birthday outfit" actually a thing?

‘Thanks but we’ve already picked an outfit for her birthday celebrations’

It's so cute and your DD will love it.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

I suppose it depends if it's a one off or a pattern of behavior.

I did feel MIL was being controlling about DD1 clothes as baby - felt like we couldn't buy anything and that it was about her wanting a girl not DH. Wrong fabrics - eczema was an issue - binned - flouncy stuff when she was crawling didn't ware as it hampered her.

Pink OTT cutesy upset DH to point he got fed up and dyed a lot black - came up lovely and put a stop to it.

MIL still bought clothes often with twist like jeans with flowers on which was helpful and I think kids mostly liked - but with more consideration to what would be used.

It's a party dress it doesn't need to be practical.

It's not to my taste but id put dd in it long enough for a few photos then get her changed on her next nappy change. She's your dd yes but it won't kill you to make her gmother happy will it?

I don't see the harm in one wear, drama over nothing.

Meh, it's not a big deal. I've seen worse.
Stick her in it, take a photo for your mum, change her into something else.

There are so many things that matter, don't waste precious head space on trivia.

Chocolate cake - the darker the better is your friend here OP. I would let her ‘blow out’ the candle then change her quickly. Then take a series of cute photos letting her loose on the cake. Then wash her and change her back. Everyone happy. That outfit is only for one day so you can let her wear it on the cake destruction section of the day.

It's her first birthday, once in a lifetime. The outfit doesn't need to be practical. Just to take a picture in the dress. She'll look lovely.

First birthday? Pop child in whatever is clean and still fits - I'd choose a frock for photos if a DD and some sort of jumpsuit for the actual party (if having one).