My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

[Glasscabinet]

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

Well the same happened when my kids were born, I imagine most people have that experience.
It’s very different in this situation though - 1) this is not a gift when baby is born, it’s something op’s mum wants the baby to wear for her first birthday, she’s trying to dictate
2) It was bought knowing the child’s parents wouldn’t like it but disregarding their feelings. So totally different to your example, when gifts are bought in the hope that they will be to the taste of the recipient.

I understand, but I still think sometimes there's value in picking your battles. Would I dress dd in it for the entire day? No. I'd still take the pic for her granny though. Op can offer a compromise by doing that while still dressing her DD the way she wants for her birthday.

Yes but did your mum laugh and tell she deliberately bought something she knew you wouldn’t like? That’s the difference.
If my mum bought an outfit for my child with good intentions, but wasn’t to my taste, of course I’d still dress my child in it and be appreciative. But I don’t think that’s what’s happened here going by OPs post. Context is very important.

Every day stuff that wasn't to my taste I'd gratefully receive, remember to grab a photo of DC in it or put them in it when they were likely to see the giver then stick it at the bottom of the pile and change DC into it following a 4am nappy explosion when I was behind on the washing.

But I do think trying to force a parent to use something they hate on a special occasion is controlling and I wouldn't go along to keep the peace. DPs got to dress their kids for their first birthday parties, they don't to dress mine to.
Hideous clothes are OK for quiet days at home/ emergency changes/ messy play but not for big events that I want to look back on and where other people might actually think my brain fell out in labour and that I now actually like that shit.

My mum keeps buying things like this for my dd. I don’t even take the label off. I put it straight onto vinted or take it to the charity shop. She knows I don’t like it because I keep telling her. If I gave in and dressed her in it, even just for a photo, she would buy even more of it.

Yeah my mum knew she was often buying stuff that wasn’t to my taste. But she was thrilled to have a granddaughter to dress up! But we’re super close and had a laugh about these things. She was and still is immensely generous and has been a hands on grandparent. I can definitely think of moments my DH would be like ‘what on earth is DD wearing?!’. I guess it all depends on the relationship you have with your parent. I was always willing to humour her.

honestly I’d have loved a little outfit like the one the OP has shown. Once you have teenagers that only live in massive hoodies and leggings you miss the days of frills and bows!

Here's your perfect excuse to not put anything from Aliexpress onto you child, you could be exposing them to harmful and illegal levels of toxic chemicals

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/more-toxic-substances-found-items-093512565.html?guccounter=1&gucereferrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guceereferrersig=AQAAAFnEu7hHmFxBh8YWJ0acsQFHlRc3n44vckbbptXWXQsrLw66PIiFUbwLuBa3OAH7MtUw5WXtcdcCxNpIZ-42opLAa4mvsIxO6y0lZSCuQUdEQpii_Rhqd4xgMgYs2Bmf-NLzPGojUDg9PFODMHJ2AQJ-G9CkyB7-av7nF2wf8zIc

Wow...chavtastic
YANBU!!

That is absolutely revolting.

I'd get one just like that for your mother that says 'Mavis is Old' and insist she wears it on her birthday.

I love that idea 🤣

@PointsSouth

@PointsSouth if I was "Mavis" I'd wear that - because sometimes life is for being a bit silly and fun.

Glad you resolved this. I do have one problem with the dress, however. It apparently has your DD's name on it, which is a safeguarding issue. Small children ought never to have clothes with their names blazoned across the front so that anyone can use the name. Children may think that someone who 'knows' their name must know mummy and daddy and are liable to trust them although they don't know them.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom, bit drastic !!!!

The child is one, she isn’t likely to be wandering anywhere unaccompanied, especially on her birthday.

Glad you resolved this

until the next time there’s tension between the OP and her DM, which i’m guessing has pretty much defined their relationship to date

Regardless of what the outfit looks like, it feels like DM is overstepping the mark by choosing what she wants DD to wear for her bday. That is your job, not hers. She has had her turn, now it is yours.

It's a daft choice anyhow, it can only be worn once. Seems like such a waste.

I suggest putting it on for a few pics then changing her. Have the best pic blown up and framed then that's DM's Christmas present sorted.

No, but it's the principle that matters. If OP's DM thinks this is ok at one then she might think it's ok at 2 or 3, with a much less divisive garment e.g. a nice jumper.

Just had a nasty thought...is this thing flammable? Do take extra care around cake candles if that's the case.

No, it is not DM's Christmas present sorted. I don't expect to get just pictures of my GC for a Christmas present (or at all as a present - if you are giving one, then it's something to give at any time!). Naturally, I'd say thank you but I would think DD or DS or DSS doing this was a bit 'off' TBH.

Your mum is a PITA. Sounds like a power move.

It’s hideous and impractical but well meaning. One year olds don’t remember their 1st birthdays anyway and if your DD is anything like my DS, she’ll be over stimulated, scream, shit herself frequently throughout the day and sleep on and off. We wanted zero fuss and a day off out just us but family politics and pressure lead to about 20 people all descending at once (ignoring our schedule) and packed into our small house. I hated every minute of it, son was inconsolable in parts with all the fuss and being leered at and everything happened that I stated above. The annoying part is people think they can override your decisions and do as they please. Thankfully I’m not a soft arse anymore and won’t have it.

It maybe to your taste but dress her in it and take pics and change her not long after saying it's hot for her etc.

It's tacky and a total waste of money. Do as someone else suggested: put it on her, tske photo

Sell on vinted

Snip off the odious bows and it’s adorable. Plus the tutu will be used again and again (snip waist elastic a bit to loosen) for dressing up when older. It won’t be wasted then.