My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

[Glasscabinet]

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

My xmil, regardless of the occasion, always used to take dc out of whatever they were wearing and redress them in an outfit that she had brought with her. Never once asked if we minded.

When I raised it exh and all the flying monkeys in their family would get into a panic as they knew she would not take any suggestion that this was inappropriate well.

One of the many reasons they are xILs.

But what's wrong with the dress though?

I get it may not be to her taste but I still don't see why she's so upset unless there's some backstory.

@Glasscabinet she doesn't have to put it on if you don't like it but I'm struggling to see why you're so upset. Because she said you wouldn't like it? You not liking it doesn't mean it isn't a cute dress.

Getting so upset to create a thread on mumsnet where some posters are calling your mother a bitch and asking you to go NC, is it really that deep?

I don’t have strong feelings re the dress but it’s obviously up to you what your dd wears for her birthday party!

You could do as PPs have suggested and put her in it to take a few photos.

Then put Dd in something she can more easily play/ crawl / whatever she likes to do in for the party.

Oh wait, that looks like a separate skirt and bodysuit?

No need to cut anything up for the dressing up box, and she can wear the bodysuit under normal clothes.

Lots of things my mum bought ds as a baby weren't to my taste. I didn't like the baby sailor outfit but that's OK. We like different things. In the scheme of things it really isn't a problem.

Do you get such twee stuff for boys? The DD isn’t a doll
I got a ridiculous sailor outfit as mentioned above with a horrible cap! The dress is gorgeous compared to that!

Don't be so precious and let granny have some pleasure. My mother isn't here anymore and how I would long for her to buy my granddaughter a dress and be able to give her a little pleasure. You young people are so officious. Quite unpleasant really!

With you OP, it's awful. If feeling generous take a picture of her wearing it, then dress her in whatever outfit you had planned for her birthday.

Some people will like it, others won’t. If you don’t like it (and your DM knows it) I wouldn’t put it on your DD
Just say “you’re right DM, it’s not my taste so DD won’t be wear it. If you knew that, I’m not sure why you bought it.”
You could put it on DD for pics as some PPs have suggested, but you know your DM better than us, so is it likely to become something that occurs more often where she railroads you into something she knows you won’t like or goes against your wishes?

I’m with you OP. It’s both tacky and impractical - aside from issues with changing her, it looks like it would hinder movement. Does your mother have form for treating your DD as a doll to play dress up with?

Assuming it's a first baby!

My 2nd is lucky if I can find anything to wrap him in at all some mornings!! The other day we had to do the school run with him dressed in a witches dress / costume from Halloween 😂

Fwiw, I think the dress is gorgeous ❤️

I disagree when it’s something that would potentially impede a child’s movement.

No crawling (or partly crawling) baby should never be put in a skirt. And those uncomfortable bows they put on girl babies’ heads.

It’s not personal taste if it is uncomfortable.

We seemed to get lots of bear-type costumes / outfits for our boys, and twee little knitted hats and gloves which looked like berries and frogs and whatnot, so I'm with you there!! I did love them all though. When they're old enough to pick their own stuff it's different, but until then I'm going to dress them how I like!

It’s really quite ok and it looks like a separate top and skirt. I don’t think your mum was being anything but nice when she bought it, does it matter if it’s not to your taste, she’s not going to be wearing it day in, day out for the rest of her life?

I honestly sometimes think I live on a different planet. Who the hell puts this much thought into what a child wears on its first birthday? Admittedly I have three sons but I really can't remember putting anything special on them. If a grandparent had bought them something special, then fine. They get through 3 or 4 outfits a day anyway, so what harm! If it's any help, I was festooned in pink as a child and (horror) wore twee matching outfits with my sis. I still ended up a feminist with a high flying job and not a trad wife, so I assume it made minimal impact!

It's cute!

Who the hell puts this much thought into what a child wears on its first birthday?

To be fair to the OP, the fuss was caused entirely by the mother who bought something that she knew the OP would hate. And if there’s ever a time when you might take a photo for posterity or whatever, it’s a first birthday. So I can well
see why she doesn’t want her child wearing something which she (understandably, in my opinion) thinks looks absolutely dreadful.

It brings pleasure for the grandparent.

I think it's ok. Not my taste but I would probably use it. What I don't understand is why your mother would buy a dress for her GD to wear on her birthday and not think her parents would have their own ideas! Much better to buy clothes that can be used several times. My DP ask what to buy DC in way of clothes and gifts.

Yes, I think people can often get too het up about this sort of thing, but deliberately buying something you know your daughter will hate and then expecting her to dress your granddaughter in it on her first birthday is dickhead behaviour.

Most people want to have nice photos to commemorate their child's first birthday and so obviously will want to dress their child in something they actually think looks nice.

The child doesn't know or care what she is wearing at that age, so if you know the parents will hate it, why but it?

Take a photo of her wearing it and leave it at that. It's a really hideous dress, I wouldn't put my baby in that, but a photo is enough to try and keep the peace.

It's not about her.

My youngest DD had this exact dress with a different name for her birthday. What's wrong with it?

Blimey, that's a really ugly outfit !
I wouldn't dress my child in it - if you do, you know that you'll be getting these monstrosities for ever !

Lovely dress. Is it not 'serious' enough for you?

How do you know OP is ‘young’?? Ageist! People of all age can be unpleasant (like you, in your post, and no doubt like me in this post from your perspective). People from a range of generations could have a 1 year old - someone I know has a 1 month old (first child) and has just turned 50. She could also easily be a grandmother like you 🤷🏻‍♀️