To wonder how you cope with aging?

[Newname85]

I am 43. Perimenopausal - with all the bells and whistles. My skin looks/feels thin, dry and lacklustre. I’m losing a lot of hair, also have lots of grey hair esp in the front.

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

Just this morning - woke me up for sure 😂

I turn 50 in a couple of months and think I feel better bow than I did at 40. Don't get me wrong, I do have perimenopausal symptoms such as poor sleep and brain fog but it's not constant. It comes and goes.
When I was 40 my kids were toddlers and I was utterly shattered. Now I have time to look after myself. I look and feel better than I did at 40.

I do a lot of these too. Looking after your health makes you feel better in the here and now as well as weighting things in your favour as you get older (no, it's not a guarantee, but it might help).

Learning new things, eg I learnt to ride a bike at 50, meeting up with friends, making the most of any changes in life all help give you

And @Kosenrufugirl too - what are good hair supplements?? Ideally in tablet/capsule form as I've abandoned collagen powder. Too faffy!

Morning my best friends died when we were 46. That changed my attitude to aging massively.

I've never tied up self worth with my looks. A few grey hairs and wrinkles havn't really bothered me. I've smears kept fit, always worked hard. My mind and body work well. I'm 53 and looking forward to retirement in 10-15years time. Aging has genuinely never bothered me.

46 now. The key is to stay active mentally and physically. I exercise every day (rest days are walking). I strength train, run and took up a new sport last year. That all keeps me motivated. My diet has always been very clean with quality protein and lots of vegetables and fruit.

I spend a small fortune on supplements: magnesium, collagen, creatine, and others.

I have a good skincare routine, very few lines, but my skin does look slacker. A bad night’s sleep shows and alcohol makes me looks like death so I haven’t bothered with it for years now.

Low stress perception is very important, we all have varying levels of stress, but how we perceive and deal with stress makes a big difference to aging.

Mentally, I enjoy my work and am looking for the next step in my career. So still pushing there.

The 40s are make or break, it can be so difficult to get back on track after this decade, even now it takes a lot of work/time/some money/effort. I enjoy the work that goes into it; not saying every day, but most days I feel full of energy and optimistic. I have 2 x kids under 10, so it can be done with kids.

The funny thing is, I was extremely fit as a younger woman, ran half marathons, played hockey 3 times a week as a teenager, ate really well, looked after myself... but it made bugger all difference to my brain and being able to recover from my head injury.

Luck, genetics, and probably being weaned off heroin as a 3 month premature baby didn't help me I suppose but I was extremely fortunate to be in rude health up until my concussion.

Health is very much wealth, and until you lose it, you really do take it for granted. I know I did. Now, I relish the few days when I feel semi-well/normal (whatever that is in my health condition these days lol). Having to live with chronic health problems means I cherish being OK for a whole week. Live every day as fully - and well - as you can ❤️✨️❤️

OP- wait for 20 years before posting about the joys of ageing. 40 is too soon!

Similar. I was really healthy and fit. Didn't stop me having an underlying genetic condition that is gradually degenerative and was worsened by covid.

Yes , look after your body and enjoy it. But don't assume that those who are struggling with their health did anything differently. We can't control everything and making peace with that is important.

@SallyWD I was talking mainly about looks. I can’t believe how young I looked at 40. I’m 57 now. I have lived a lot in those 17 years! 😬 Ironically I am fitter now.

TBH I don't really think about it. I'm concentrating more on preparing for getting older by losing weight, getting fit and building my strength.

One of the benefits for me of getting older is that I don't give a shiny shit what people think of me, so I wear whatever I want and as long as 'm happy, that's all that matters. I've never been one for makeup anyway, so a bit of moisturiser, sunscreen and lipsalve and job's a good'un.

Enjoy every day, you might not get another and there's no point worrying about things that might never happen either.

Have sent you a dm.

Gah, it won't let me edit, I meant a pm!

It's definitely a privilege to still be here and getting older is just an inevitable consequence. Look after yourself, eat healthily, exercise, enjoy life and see the Dr if you have peri menopause symptoms.

you can get loads of tips about weightlifting, botox, water and so on, and yes, they do help to some extent. But in the end looks fade and any amount of investment in looks will give you diminishing returns.

To really cope with aging, as your original quetion was @Newname85 , you need to invest in things about yourself that have a cumulative effect, so not looks, but knowledge, personality, being an interesting person, wisdom, etc. This way you will be in your prime at any age.

I find the saddest type of people (such as my own mother, even though she has a PhD) are those who attached too much value to their youth and looks and have based their confidence and value on that alone.

My eyesight is now getting worse so I can't see it 😂

The optician was spot on when he said my eyes would start to deteriorate. "Oh, about 47."

Bang on 47 I started to be unable to read some food packaging, at 49 I can't read my phone in the morning without my reading glasses. Next stop varifocals!

Bad skin & hair, & beauty routines, is that all you got?

Growing a beard nearly broke me! The pot belly too. But those things can be sorted out.

The more serious stuff was wanting to kill people. Luckily no one ever pushed me, otherwise I could be writing this from my cell.

Yes agree.There’s no comparison, to being say 40 to being 50 years old.When someone is 40, many people could easily pass for early 30’s-35.Aging process, starts more late 40’s and onwards.

I'm 48 & peri menopausal. I have just started hrt (oestrogen & progesterone tablets) & find that's helped my mental health.
For my skin I have to take my vitamins & collagen supplements plus have a good skincare regime (all can be done quickly and cheaply) which means my skin now tends towards oily than dry.
I've got some frizzy white hair like my nanna, ever since I had a breakdown, so I get regular quite natural looking tint & highlights.
Then I make sure my clothes, & make up don't look dated.

I'm struggling with being overweight but that's been an issue for years and I'm pre diabetic but that's all due to the meds I'm on not age. I still feel fairly attractive.

I think life's too short to worry too much about ageing.
My mum died last September at a fairly young age & I've been devastated. It's destroyed my mental health for a year, I'm lucky to be here.

& Im going to the breast clinic tomorrow for the second time for a mammogram, ultrasound & possible biopsy on the same side as last June.

@AdaStewart
I've been wearing varifocals for a few years now! But fashionable looking pale pink ones obvs.

I'm 52. Very comfortable with how I look as I age. It's just not that important!

It's the proper aging in 25+ years time that worries me (if I think I about it). The part where you actually become less and less capable (and potentially alone) rather than just looking a bit grey and saggy. Exacerbated by thinking about my husband gettting there earlier as he is 10+ years older than me. Obviously there is a limit to what can be done, but I do think about improving my health and fitness now, physical and mental, building and maintaining close relationships, thinking about where will be best to live etc. to try and make those years as high quality as possible. Of course, I may just drop dead tomorrow!

A few wrinkles is the least of it really.

Just waiting to hear from a good friend whether or not her chemotherapy is working, so I couldn't care less about my spare tyre, wrinkles, grey straw hair, droopy eyelids, etc.
You have to put it all into perspective. It's only looks and nothing a few painkillers can't help.

try not to walk naked past the full length mirror with your glasses on
but seriously learn to love your body with all its quirks and faults
it helps me get out to do stuff I love doing, play with the grandkids, walk the dog etc nourish it properly with good quality food, drink lots of water and moisturise all over regularly

On the one hand looks really don't matter, but also I don't think growing old means growing unattractive.

I used to make my living on my looks. I might still go back one day because older models exist too.

I still get asked out in public at 47. My mom does too and she's in her 70's. Not by teenagers obviously but men grow older too. Older single men still hit on older single women and vice versa. She just got remarried again this year.

I don't want young girls thinking ageing is ugly. We have the chance to show the next generation that it's a gift to be celebrated.