To wonder how you cope with aging?

[Newname85]

I am 43. Perimenopausal - with all the bells and whistles. My skin looks/feels thin, dry and lacklustre. I’m losing a lot of hair, also have lots of grey hair esp in the front.

How do you cope with all this, with getting old?

I have earned my wrinkles, greying hair and flabby bits and wear them with pride.

I am 53 and I focus on being as healthy and active as I can: vegetarian diet, lots of exercise, vitamins, enough sleep and HRT.

My goal is to enjoy life for as long as I can and try to keep learning new things (I learned to ride a horse at 50, learned how to use a sewing machine, took up Pilates...)

The positive of ageing is that I no longer care about what other people think of me and how I run my life! liberating I must say...

If you're aging then you're privileged. Many women don't get the chance. Slap some moisturiser on and be grateful to live your life.

I knew the answer to that but I have forgotten it

I think it is definitely the way oestrogen affects dopamine, which is essentially a key component to memory. I know from past experience when my oestrogen levels were very low when I was in the post natal period after my 3rd baby, that my brain chemistry went haywire and my movement disorder symptoms became much worse. I'll see if I can find a link to how oestrogen affects dopamine and memory etc

Here's some info

OP have you had your thyroid tested? Losing a lot of hair/dry skin could be symptoms of underactive thyroid. I was about your age when mine was diagnosed.

More info

50s and loving it, increased self confidence and give less of a damn what people think of me. Do what you want to do, be who you want to be, don't compare with others. Enjoy life.

Sorry yeah I meant to post back, I had a read and you’re right from my surface google. I’ve had some issues with my short term memory since my periods have changed, really fed up it’s like I hit 41 and everything has suddenly changed. I thought I was dying at one point and I think it’s all hormonal.

thank you but I was joking 🙂

Just acceptance. Sometimes look in mirror and think ‘ouch’, but it is what it is. Everyone ages and dies, it’s the nature of this life. I focus on improving myself as a person as that’s more important than what I look like.

Like pps said, many due before reaching your age. Imagine at your death bed, will you be thinking it was good to expend your energy on your appearance? Of course to an extent it matters to us but what do you want the rest of your life to be about?

Salome61 · Yesterday 23:37
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I would recommend starting a hair routine where you regularly have it coloured/streaked and never allow your roots to show. My friend is the same age as me and has hers done, I just went grey. She looks a lot younger than me”

I’m naturally blonde, just beginning to go white. I absolutely love it and wish it would happen more quickly (I’m 60, just a couple of streaks around the temples atm).

chickensandbees · Today 10:10

50s and loving it, increased self confidence and give less of a damn what people think of me. Do what you want to do, be who you want to be, don't compare with others. Enjoy life.

Hear, hear 👏

You can virtually eradicate jowls by having cheek fillers and jawline fillers if really saggy. I had really deep naso-labial and marionette lines which have disappeared due to twice-yearly fillers. No need for a facelift!

I'm late 40's now. Went into abrupt menopause in my late 30's thanks to surgery for endometriosis. The first few years of that were v hard. I had the meno belly, hairline and sagging skin within 6 months and despite being quite a lot younger than my SIL's, the difference was obvious, I knew everyone could see it, and at least one of them felt quite smug that she looked better than me despite being older.

Nowadays I cope with Chanel lipstick and by refusing to dwell on it. I feel it's important to do your future self a favour with exercise (especially load bearing, so lifting weights is very important as you get older) and by making your diet the best you can. I don't smoke and I'm teetotal. I don't colour my hair/have nails done/any botox or fillers or anything like that, I feel a certain sense of rebellion in refusing and that suits me. I've grown my hair down to bum length, having always wanted really long hair as a child, when I wasn't allowed it.

I try to focus on the positives. No more periods is brilliant, there are things about being invisible that are also brilliant, my kids are of an age now where OH and I are able to do 'us' things not 'family' things, my career is starting to get to a good place.

I also remind myself that in 20 years I will look back at this age and think it was young.

Re jowls: I’ve been using high polyphenol, organic extra virgin olive oil after reading about the health benefits and consequent results for your skin and Inner Beauty capsules from Dr. Sister for several weeks.

I'm a real cynic at 60, tried lots of “miracle”. creams over the years with bog all results.

About 6 weeks on, I (and others) can see a real difference in my skin tone and tightness. I’d say the jowls have firmed up by about 50% already.

I’m a total sceptic but this is actually working.

I'm 60 on Sunday and although I don't like the aging process, I try to be thankful that I have no major health issues. I don't drink, never smoked, I'm a but overweight but I do eat healthily (big appetite!). I'm very active as I have 3 ponies and a large garden and I do look after my skin .

I don't think the " lentil crew" mean you won't get ill, they are talking about the health you generally have as a young un won't last if you burn the candle both ends after 40 through your 50s,60s.
Over 70% of women age 50 and over are overweight or obese.
You will fall prey to general ill health,metabolic changes, joint issues, MH issues and chronic ill health if you carry on quaffing wine, eating rubbish and taking zero exercise.
It's a choice
I have 2 illnesses which are luck of the draw,nothing to do with my general health and am genetically predisposed to them thanks Mum
I'm well managed on medication and fit as a flea, bmi 22
My general health is excellent even though I'm not fond of lentils 😜

After the decades of agonising menstruation, I welcomed and more or less sailed through the menopause. I didn't do HRT but used something for vaginal dryness.

I did some radical things with my hair, to get rid of the red/grey look and went lighter to mix in the grey, but with a lot of unnatural looking stripes.(at my request)
This went on for some years until I decided I was grey enough to just leave it. Sometimes I go pink or purple, now my hair is light enough.

Invisibility is a mixed bag. It is a relief to be relatively free from the male gaze but there was a lot of ageism in the workplace. But I soon got to the not giving a fuck stage, which is one of the best things about ageing!

The weight gain was a bugger and I still carry excess weight. I can only do gentle exercise due to heart issues, but I am going to do wegovy or something at some point.
I have the same story as some of you, with a hysterectomy coming soon, so I will have get through that bit first.

I'm getting wrinkly at nearly seventy but perhaps because I've always moisturised and not smoked, it's not too bad - yet.

I eat reasonably healthily and take vitamins and supplements, including one for healthy eyes and one for hair. I don't drink a lot of alcohol and try to remember to drink loads of water.

To age well, it is important to keep some neuroplasticity.
I have a left handed day every week and learn new things, with online lectures and reading. I do puzzles and write, paint, bang a drum, have days out, etc.
The key is doing or learning things outside your comfort zone, or outside your normal experiences.

This. I was fit and gorgeous At 40. The difference by 50 was enormous.

I think keeping active is vital. and mentally Active.

I'd say the difference between late 30s and nearly 50 is staggering for me. In that I have so much more energy at 49! I feel so much healthier and fitter.

I had DDs at 29 and 33 and had several cancer scares and treatment, burn out and depression, had to take career breaks and was completely exhausted- motherhood plus a professional career nearly killed me. I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 39- in my 40s I have put myself first far more and have a much better life balance. I can't remember the last time I even had a cold.

Posts like this help me (42) feel less scared of the future. I feel I'm noticing women in their 50s/60s now who look like they are enjoying life, feel good about themselves etc , it's good to see and sort of shows the way to do it. Find a couple of role models.

I was 44 year this year and just didn’t recognize myself. I finally went to the Dr and was put on the mini pill to help with my constant hormone headaches - 4 months in and I just have a 3 day headache which to me is just wonderful. I think 2 weeks just in constant pain was aging me massively.

I stopped drinking, prioritized sleep - I must be in bed by midnight (this is good for me as a night owl) so get 6-7 hrs, I joined the gym and do a mixture of classes - I can do the early morning classes now I’m sleeping better and started new skincare / trying to drink more water. I did not do this all at once! I think when you make one change and start to feel a little better, you’re then on the right track.

I also have a little Botox every 9 months in one area - although I’ve had this for nearly 20 years as I have a very unfortunate frown line that made me look so tired. I always have my nails / eyebrows done. My hair annoys me so is in a constant mum-bun.

I’d definitely be open to a facelift later on - the jowls are starting to drop and they cause me to gasp if I catch myself in the phone camera 😂

And the biggest thing - I’m so grateful to be here. I love my life and I’m so very lucky in many many ways. I don’t want to be 20 or 30 again - I’m genuinely looking forward to the future, and I’m doing all that I can so that I reach each decade as healthy and strong as possible.

And if all else fails, get the hugest Jackie O black sunglasses you can afford and rock them.

@CoffeeWithHer That gave me a chuckle, gosh I get a shock at mine on the phone camera