Sad we will be spending another Christmas away from home

[RosenNn]

DH and I are very religious, we attend church weekly and it makes up a massive part of our life. We have 1 son, he lives in London and is married, his wife isn't British but they are also very religious. In her country they celebrate Christmas in January (Serbia) and they attend church often too but Orthodox Christian rather than Anglican which DH and I are.
They have 2 children who are 1 and 3, so far every year we have travelled to them for Christmas and Easter, we celebrate a typical British Christmas, including going to a CofE church near them. They live very central (Zone 1) so only have a 2 bed flat which is pretty tiny, this means we get a hotel. I find this so unfestive (even though my son checks in for us early and adds some little decorations). I miss our local church where all our friends are.
I asked if this year they would like to come to us and they have said no. It makes me really sad as they travel to her family in January for Christmas with them.
They only actually come to see us once a year in the summer, we go on holiday with them in October then travel to see them the other 2 times.
AIBU to be really sad it is another year away from home? Should I express how much id rather they came to us or suck it up?

I too, am am orthodox Christian celebrating both 25th December with my husband’s family and 7th January with my family. Always worked for us just means a little give and take.

Go a week before Christmas, but back at your home for Christmas day.
It will feel festive in the run up to Christmas;
Maybe you can include a visit to Santa, or other Christmas related stuff.

I have two very young children and I used to think I couldn’t see Christmas anywhere other than my mums (5 hour drive away) but since having them I really just want to be able to create our own little traditions as a family and have the children waking up, playing with their presents and napping in their own home as it’s quite an overwhelming day anyway.

My mums house is SO unchild friendly that I can’t put the baby down for a minute without him bashing his head on a coffee table/antique cabinet or trying to eat from the cat litter tray and I can never relax there with them. I’d honestly rather there was no pressure to spend that day with wider family so that I don’t feel guilty saying I want to just stay at home! Just have a Christmas at home and visit them the weekend before Christmas or something and they’ll probably thank you for it!

As kids we spent every Christmas visiting family, all local so we opened presents at home but then had to leave all our gifts to eat and be merry with our cousins. I swore when I had kids we would never spend Christmas away from home and we have stuck to it, my in laws were always made welcome but also, if they decided to be at home that would have been fine too. They always wanted to come to us.

it is so much easier for two of you to visit with your few presents than for four of them plus all presents to come up here. I presume they are doing Santa too? If so that is going to be hard to keep up the secret if they are bringing all santas gifts with them!

Isn't this sort of thing what FaceTime is for?

This is a really sensible, practical suggestion to suit both families. Children like to be in their own home at Christmas, making their own family traditions.
Be thankful for the summer times with them and October holiday

YABU children should be at home for Christmas, you don’t have to go there, you could visit on Boxing Day instead.

With two little ones in tow I wouldn't like to travel by train either. Such a hassle to get to the station, then on the train with the babies ánd luggage etc.etc., Bet yes I understand it makes you jealous they fly to her family. Have you considered maybe these people are poor and can't afford to travel? About having christmas in your own community : our daughter lives abroad with her family, and we do every christmas there - taking our son and his family with us. To me, christmas is where my children and grandbabies are. Time enough after the Hollidays to spend with friends and neighbours!

YABU children should be at home for Christmas
I've never heard this before this thread and yet it seems quite entrenched with many. I don't remember ever caring where we were at Christmas and DC have never been bothered about it either. They are with their extended family having loads of treats and their presents wherever.

I had Christmas at home and Christmas at decorated bnbs with Santa visits, Christmas on the beach. Christmas in hotels with and without the whole family.

The ones I remember the best where waking up in my bed opening my stocking, then running downstairs to the tree and the presents the fire on and pure wrapping paper shredding heaven.

But did it really make a difference what bed you woke up in? It's never made it any different to me or my children. Stockings are on their beds and under the tree regardless of whether that's a bed in my house or my parents' or, back in the day, in my grandparents'. I don't get what the big deal is.

Can they come up for a few days before Christmas?

It was being home. In my comfy place. Where I knew where everything was. Where I could go to my room if I wanted.

Same kind of thing where women say once they get home they take off their bras because they are home. Change into joggers or comfy clothes rather than uniforms or whatever to please others to look right.

It’s just that. Home is safe and nice and relaxing and just home. Also home meant come Boxing Day or the day after my friends where all out playing with their new scooters or bikes or footballs or basket ball hoops come snow or rain.

Fair enough. That is interesting, thank you. I've never felt like that so I do understand a bit better now. I'm as comfortable being at other houses as I am my own. I'm just as relaxed at my parents or PIL or my grandparents as at home.

I still don't really get it but I do a bit more. But then I don't get any of your other examples like wanting to change or take my bra off as soon as I get home!

Still can't see it factoring into out Christmas plans ever.

Oh I don’t do the bra off thing I just used it as an example i have friends who do it. Like I'm Home bras off I’m not going out again it’s time to relax. Mines on morning till bed or I’m going to give myself a black eye running up and down the stairs 🤣 but my husband gets in from work straight out his smart clothes and into comfy stuff.

My oldest is like me home is their favourite place to be on Christmas. My youngest she loves hustle and bustle, my middle is actually in the middle she likes it till she doesn’t and then takes her self off to a spot to be away from people and just be alone.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with the North East!

We travel 250m each Christmas, and (5 other times a year) to see in laws. We take our now 2yr old with us. I don't mind I love seeing them play with him.and opening presents etc.
Christmas day is a bit chaotic.
Maybe with 2 it's alot harder but I'm sad you feel you miss out at home. They have churches in London, get to know them and maybe they'll help you feel festive.

Then don't! Indicate that you would love to see them and spend time with them but you have been away from home for many years, and this year you'd like to stay home. They may decide to come, they may not. You will need to organise your holiday accordingly.