Not inviting someone's wife to a wedding

[soundsys]

Sorry, it's a wedding one! And it's a bit long so as not to drip feed.

Husband has been invited to his (female) friend's wedding. He's been asked to be a witness and to arrive the day before, stay over in a hotel and "help set up". The wedding is in the city where both couples live. I haven't been invited. We've been married more than a decade and no falling out/backstory between me and the bride to be that I'm aware of.

YANBU - that's fucking weird
YABU - it's totally normal to not invite someone's long standing spouse to your wedding

Additional info: I did ask DH if it had come up that I'm not invited and he said the bride said "it's my wedding and I'll invite who I want"

Further additional info: bride to be has been invited to many social events we've hosted as a couple but has always declined to attend, preferring to only meet my husband on his own. He has been invited to many social events by bride to be and her future husband but I have never been included

Well it sounds like he’s accepted many invites in the past which exclude his wife so why change now? This sounds like a DH problem.

I offen wonder about op, did he go to the wedding, what did op do about it,
Of course op doesn't have to come back but do wonder

I’m going against the general consensus here.

I think if it was just the wedding I don’t see the issue. She wants her friend there, just because it’s a large wedding and you are married doesn’t mean you get an invite.

I’ve been married for 13 years and have been to a few weddings without my husband, also invited to one abroad next year by myself, we will make a weekend of it but he isn’t coming to the wedding.

A good friend of mine who knows my DH got married a few years and only I was invited, there was nearly 200 people there. Neither of us were bothered by it and I went and had a good time. I think weddings are quite personal and the bride is right saying she can invite who she wants. Nothing worse than going to a wedding of someone you don’t know. It’s not just an excuse for a day out.

Having said that, the history of behaviour of not being included in other social events or having your invites declined is odd. She may just not like you, or her husband has told her things that have given her a preconceived idea of you. I don’t agree that she fancies your husband, I just don’t think she likes you.

@soundsys

Comments on this thread seem to have popped up again after quite some time. What happened in the end? Hope you’re okay.