to find it unnecessary to blame the menopause for needing a dog to get out of the house?

[Skipsurvey]

watching the dog house
for example, this was a scenario

and i am sure there are other occasions when women have said Due to the menopause they now have anxiety for example
it seems unnecessary to overshare in this way on this kind of programme.
willing to be explained why i am being unreasonable for disliking this oversharing in an otherwise unrelated area.

I also developed driving anxiety.

I'm really glad that the menopause is talked about now. Until a couple of years ago I had no idea it was anything more than your periods stopping and feeling a bit warm every now and again.

I'm not there yet, but I'm pleased that it won't blindside me if I get some unpleasant symptoms when my time comes.

@Blanketyre
i would like to reduce my hours in the winter!
but i can mention this but hadnt attributed it to being menopausal.
i dont mind talking menopause anonymously but wouldnt talk at work for example
doesnt make me a bad person despite some posters saying this

I kind of get what you mean. Marking so I can respond later.

Jesus - did you always make sure to hide your tampons in case anybody saw them OP? In case anyone got the vapors seeing them? You didn't openly admit to having periods i hope. Because, you know, only 50% of the population have them. It should be kept nice and quiet.

The 1960's are calling OP - for you to come back.

Women are allowed to have bodily functions and even <gasp> 'openly admit' what's going on!!

Christ, if men were the ones who struggle with periods and meno society would actually revolve around it by now. Instead it's only women, and God forbid we have whole programmes taking about it 🙄

surely this is a self fulfilling prophecy?
blame it on the menopause

A weird thread about silencing anything menopause related. It's not a dirty word, you are allowed to mention it. Anxiety is one of the biggest reported symptoms in menopausal women, it's horrible and it needs to be spoken about. So what if a woman wants a dog to help her anxiety? Why should she be shamed for mentioning the relation to the menopause

@Laiste
this wasnt a menopause programme
it was the Dog House

Why not? It's a very common issue for menopausal women that can range from a slight discomfort with some things, to life changing and debilitating problems. I'm 55 and certainly experienced it, thankfully at the lower end, but given it started in my mid 40s and has pretty much gone now I'm 55, I can't help but see a link. I've also spoken to lots of women who've described similar.

I can't see why you'd use the word 'admit', as its not shameful. It's just a part of life for many women. It doesn't mean they're weak, doing aging wrong or have anything to be embarrassed about, and the more people are comfortable to speak about it the better. Its really helpful to feel its 'normal' and to share tips for managing it.

Check your responsibilities- prepare to reduce your workload for a while, plan time off, get organised.

Elder care, voluntary work, hobbies- all might need to be reassessed and it’s helpful to know it’s on the way. Big holidays.

Any other health condition, you would plan for.

If you were told at say 30 that you had a 50/50 chance of having a massive decline in fitness aged 50-55- maybe a significant risk of life impacting asthma, or something- you would beat that in mind when organising your life. You wouldn’t plan a full house renovation, maybe, or commit to some other massive project in that window. You’d plan to get a cleaner, and make sure your other responsibilities were covered- make sure you aren’t reliant on the income from a second job that you won’t have the energy to do.

Not necessarily massive things, but having an awareness of what was likely to come so that when it starts you can take appropriate steps. Otherwise women plough on getting more and more discouraged by their own reduced capacity without realising they need to make some short term changes to tide them over.

Like you would with other health conditions.

For me it was more about the matching of the dog to person , they chose a young energetic dog but given her struggles I thought the choice was wrong , anxiety etc is unpredictable and what if she didn't want to go walking every day .

But then they often don't ask detailed enough questions to match people with suitable dogs . Maybe just for speed but a lot of their choices are questionable.

WTF is a 'menopause programme' ?

@hattie43 i totally agree and was so surprised, i hope she coped

You know that old saying... when you're in a hole, stop digging.

You are completely ignoring what people are saying. That they have suffered a number of symptoms which they didn't attribute to menopause at the time, but that had other women talked more openly about what was happening to them, they may have joined the dots more quickly.

You cannot think yourself into having vaginal atrophy, or joint aches, or hot flushes. Or on the other hand, think yourself out of them.

Who has said that? How is one person on a random TV show talking about their experience anything like the above?

I'm glad we are becoming more open about the menopause. There's nothing shameful or embarrassing about it.

Yes. Men used to not hire young women in case they had babies. Or had time off or were 'irrational' every month. Now they have a new reason not to hire women. And worse, women of an age where they're already starting to be overlooked in the employment market.

There needs to be a happy medium that allows women to be open, but doesn't make us sound unemployable or unreliable because of our anxiety/mood swings/bleeding/whatever else.

Again, menopause is a normal life stage. I haven't seen this programme but gather it's about helping someone choose a dog. Of course they are going to looks at factors affecting that choice - someone works nights, or travels abroad for extended periods, or has a physical disability or limitation, or small children.

OP is again being very clear that menopause discussion is something shameful and to be limited only to special "menopause programmes" and has no place in other sorts of programming or conversation.

You seem to have some very bizarre hang ups about your body

exactly
they wouldnt admit it though

No one is insisting you talk about your own experience of menopause.

What people want to share about their own, is up to them.

Being open about the menopause is great. But I have lately had to stop listening to a bunch of mid life podcasts because they seek to imply that every woman is inevitably anxious, scatty, depressed and ill.

I also think there is a lot of money in medicalising menopause. Has anyone seen the Happy Mammoth pills for instance?

@saraclara - I get what you're saying and nobody wants women in their late 40s and 50s written off as unhinged and unreliable. But raising awareness of the symptoms which can be associated with menopause lets women join the dots about what is going on, seek treatment and many will report that once they started their HRT, the problems they were suffering got a lot better and even if the anxiety or brain fog didn't disappear completely, it became a lot more manageable.

But if someone is having a hard time, physically or mentally, why shouldn't they be given medication to help them?

If men went through something like this, there is no way they'd be fobbed off and left to suffer in silence/

I am on HRT myself. There is no evidence that the numerous pills and supplements like Happy Mammoth work though.

So all the other people who've appeared on the show talking about their reasons for wanting a dog - including bereavement, ill health etc - shouldn't have mentioned their own struggles either?