to find it unnecessary to blame the menopause for needing a dog to get out of the house?

[Skipsurvey]

watching the dog house
for example, this was a scenario

and i am sure there are other occasions when women have said Due to the menopause they now have anxiety for example
it seems unnecessary to overshare in this way on this kind of programme.
willing to be explained why i am being unreasonable for disliking this oversharing in an otherwise unrelated area.

What constitutes oversharing? I think it is great to hear far more mentions of the menopause now. Much better than when women just had to deal with it silently and put it with the hideous symptoms with a smile.

I don't think it's oversharing. My anxiety has gone through the roof since I have been in menopause and it's bloody awful. Why does it need to be kept a secret like it's somehow shameful?

How is mentioning menopause over sharing? It’s something every female will go through.

Its entirely normal, so mentioning it in passing isn’t over sharing at all.

There's many reasons why people get a dog.
I got a dog after having necrotising fascitis and nearly had my leg amputated,
It did the trick got me back on my feet 🤣

oh and the dating show, First Dates.

I guess i hadnt linked my new driving anxiety to the menopause tbf

I used to love this but now the stories just wind me up (yes I'm a horrible person) so I just whizz to the meetings and then of course the best bit which is 'some time later' 😂

everthing is about the menopause now I dislike the massive bandwagon - now there's menopause face cream, menopause clothes! It's good to raise awareness but it also discredits women because they assume we are thick as mince and we all need all this stuff. Assuming we are all the same and we all need all this stuff otherwise we are gibbering wrecks who have to get dogs or retire. I love my hrt oh and my hand fan but anything else is just superfluous (imo)

it wasnt really in passing in this case, It was the whole issue for the reason she needed a dog.

@FuckThePoPo
and you know when they give an inappropriate dog, or at least you think you know! there was a curve ball yesterday

but will every menopausal woman become very anxious?

Women are sick of not being able to be open about menopause. That behaviour has left huge gulfs of ignorance and lack of research in the area. Ireland only saw the first menopause clinic five years ago!

Your opinion is a clear indicator that society wants menopause to be a secret. I am just on th cusp, I want to hear others so I don't let ignorance make the journey more difficult than it needs to be.

I don’t bang on about it all the time but neither do I shy away from it if necessary. My job involves attending several board level meetings every month, which have been hybrid so far. A new chair has expressed a desire to have these meetings in person, a 220 mile train ride away. At first I politely said that I may not be able to make these meetings in person due to being a woman of a certain age and all the challenges that brings. He continued to push the importance of me being there in person, so I explained in more detail - I am currently experiencing unpredictable and excessive bleeding for at least two weeks per month, to the extent that I would have an accident before I reached my local station, never mind a 3 hour train journey. He agreed.

I was determined that he would be the embarrassed one, rather than me. Plus, some of us have had our lives changed so fundamentally by the f**king menopause (job loss, relationship breakdown, major depression) etc, that sometimes talking about it so openly is the only way to explain why you are no longer the same woman you used to be.

Right so what did she say?

It being the whole reason she wanted dog doesn’t mean it wasn’t said in passing. ‘I am in menopause and have been feeling anxious/tired (or any symptom) and would like a dog to get me out of the house’ is mentioning it in passing.

But what exactly is the issue about it. Would you be that bothered if someone said ‘I have anxiety and want a dog’ or depression or ‘I am getting a bit older and would like a dog to get me out and about and more active’

I mean for hundreds of years menopause has been a huge taboo so the fact women are able to acknowledge the impact it had on them is a net positive. So in general YABU.

It is true that some people have turned it into a bit of a celebrity turn and it can be a bit of a get-out-of-jail-free for bad behaviour and a canard to cover other problems.

But it’s a small price to pay for the greater transparency and solidarity that women get from being able to talk about it.

They don't just decide to over share off their own bat. The program requires it of them. Without a back story they wouldn't be featured as the whole premis of the dog thing is about humans and dogs coming together to improve both their lives, and these shows always follow a formula of making you care quickly about someone so youre invested in the outcome. Best way to induce swift empathy is via sympathy. I think when the back story raises issues that are relatable it can be helpful.

I think they are told/ pushed by the producers to be extreme. I’ve only seen it a couple of times but everyone seems to have a sad story or something.

I think talking about the menopause normalises it. Womens ptoblems are often minimised, medically and societally. Everyone seems to be talking about menopause these days, there a weekly meeting with an interesting speaker and then a whinge fest locally. It’s a marketing tool, supplements and beauty products for menopausal women blah de bla.

I do get what you mean, I’m a head down and get on with it type of person not a sharer so I find it all a bit much. I respect that people are different and for some sharing lightens the load. So I will lend an ear, on tv though I’d blame the producers.

I didn’t say every menopausal woman will get anxiety. But they go through menopause.

No, but for many women and a large percentage of NHS GPs, the only thing they associate with menopause is hot flushes.

If you're not having hot flushes, then the GP (in my direct experience) will fob you off with antidepressants, one told me all I needed was folic acid. (WTF?) If you are suffering from anxiety, insomnia, aching joints, vaginal atrophy or yes, hot flushes, what you need is HRT not a sodding dog.

even my neighbour was telling me about her anxiety due to the menopause!
yes, like some others, i am a head down kind of person and the menopause happens to all women, following threads here i am on hrt but i wouldnt think to blame any anxiety on menopause. or admit to it openly

They can share whatever they want about their own lives OP, they’re not obliged to protect your tender sensibilities. About walking her dog to help with the fricking menopause.

She didn’t say she was dogging in the local park, did she.

A prime dog house story!!! I might have actually watched yours tbf 🤣

Getting out for some exercise will help with menopause symptoms. Getting a dog will force her to get out for a walk and make it more enjoyable. It makes sense to me assuming you like dogs.

Also driving anxiety often comes as you get older and I would imagine menopausal symptoms could do this.

I speak as one who had a hysterectomy and removal of ovaries at 46 and went straight on HRT so didn't really have any symptoms of menopause but I can be sympathetic to those who do.

I remember my dear 70-something mother in law’s reaction to seeing a book on the menopause (the Davina McCall one) - she was uncharacteristically angry about it “women today make such a fuss - it’s pure indulgence, you just have to get on with it”

Strangely emotional reaction!

Nb MIL suffered terribly with her menopausal symptoms.

or admit to it openly

And there we are. Menopause is something to be ashamed of, and anxiety is not to be "admitted to".

FUCKS SAKE.

So it wasn’t irrelevant to the program then was it, if it was the whole reason she was getting a dog?

My new dog has made me stop wanting to murder my husband (as much) due to menopause rage and really help anxiety. So do one