To think that 5 children growing up motherless because their Mum wanted cosmetic surgery is absolutely tragic *edited by MNHQ

[AngeloMysterioso]

And actually a damning indictment of the state our society and the pressure placed on women to conform to increasingly ridiculous and unattainable standards of “beauty”??

A woman in her early-30’s has just died after having a Brazilian butt lift procedure in Gloucestershire, leaving 5 children who will now grow up without their mother. She’s not even the first woman to die after this procedure, which is known to be the most dangerous cosmetic surgery procedure commonly available- just the first to die after having it done in the UK.

What the fuck is going on?? Why are women literally putting their lives on the line trying to mimic some cartoonish Kardashian aesthetic? Is it that we place so little value on our own lives or so much value on appearance? Is it that these surgeries and treatments which were once the preserve of the rich and famous, are now available to pretty much anybody and can be performed by people with next to no qualifications?

I feel so angry for that woman, and desperately sad for her children.

She had the choice. However, the pressure on young women to conform to 'beauty standards' as presented by celebrities is very great. How much pressure did her DP (now landed with bringing up his children on his own) put on her re dieting, getting her body into shape etc?

Sex stereotypes are currently on steroids. This woman is a victim of the obsession to look and stay young, that burdens all women. I am sorry for her. I am sorry for all young women facing these pressures.

You don't know they don't value education. Presumably they want a nice funeral, current cost about 8k, I imagine. That's a lot to find suddenly. Even a fairly simple one is 3k.

Have died due to a lack of conventional, evidence based treatment.

No one dies from homeopathy. It doesn't do anything.

They may die if they eschew conventional medication in favour of homeopathy!

Whilst I agree with you that society stresses youth and beauty, a lot of that is from other women. Not men. As I have said previously, no man I know even likes the look this woman was going for.
if you take a look at porn sites, all have them have categories for Milf and granny. Men actually find women attractive as they get older. I'm 55 and don't find women under 40 attractive anymore. Yes I can and do think "she's pretty" . But I no longer want to even think about getting into any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with them.
I personally think that the multi billion pound beauty industry is behind all of this false premise that all men want is younger looking women. Someone said that men aren't targeted by it. That is increasing becoming untrue. Young men are also falling into the trap of being body conscious. You only have to watch a football match on tv, the adds will either be for men's beauty products or gambling.

Ironically the woman who sadly died had also not long been offering this service on her own beauty business page!

The whole industry needs to be better regulated but it does seem bizarre and irresponsible of her to have a risky procedure being a mother of 5.

I think that some posters are being really harsh on the poor mother. Really harsh! The issue is this: fillers are seen as a cosmetic procedure rather than surgical and the business is unregulated. So currently beauty salons can carry out this sort of stuff. However, there is a risk that any filler can migrate into a large vein and cause an embolism. Many people do not know this. So when you see a sign for fillers and botox at a 'clinic' it all sounds and feels very safe. It's just a few little injections, right? So for me the lady is not to blame as, yes it was a bit of a vanity decision, but one that she perceived as being very low risk.

The issue here is with tv programmes and the media that perpetuate fillers etc as the norm and with the govt for failing to get their act together and properly regulate the issue.

Many people do not know this

She apparently offers the procedure at her own clinic so I would hope she is fully aware of the risks, otherwise she would have been putting others at risk.

! The issue is this: fillers are seen as a cosmetic procedure rather than surgical

Sorry - anything that involves sticking a needle into a person is a risk and should be considered a medical procedure. Pop along to your local GPs and offer to ease the strain by helping them take blood samples and see the reaction. Even if you have a dress-up nurses uniform.

I think that some posters are being really harsh on the poor mother

She literally worked in the aesthetics industry. She must have known the risks. What happened is utterly horrific and awful but you cant argue someone who worked in that industry was not aware of the risks involved. If she wasnt aware then she had no business offering aesthetic procedures as a job. None of that takes away the tragedy of this situation but it is somewhat ironic blaming the cosmetic industry when she was promoting that industry herself.

Its still incredibly sad for her family of course.

Agreed. And the photo of a rather normal looking mum they've released is old; it's nothing like how she looked by the time she had the last op.

Exactly!!! As above posters said, she was literally offering this procedure to others at her own clinic!!

She was so much prettier in the before photo than after all the fillers

I think it is well documented that her community don't value education for girls. And they don't want fairly simple funeral they want a show. That community don't do basic funerals. Let them pay for it. She choose not to have life insurance, nobody forced her not to buy it.

This. I get really annoyed when other women blame a woman for something like this - we are all subject to the relentless (and now pornified) projection of the 'perfect body'. Many fall for it in various ways, buying the creams and potions that will make us look younger, some of us die of it. It takes a very strong minded woman to ignore the beauty business and a great number of young women are now employed thus (my SGD, for one) and see the plastic Barbie-doll look as perfectly normal. The whole beauty business needs proper regulation - but it's only women who are affected so it doesn't really matter.

I don't know what community this woman came from. But what you have said is pretty judgemental. I had what you might call a 'showy' funeral for my late DH, a horse-drawn hearse and 3 cars plus another half dozen for relatives and friends (more after the service as other people joined their cars onto the cortege), a Christian service and a commital at the grave. Roughly a hundred at the service, including friends from the South-West, Wales and the North, so a large wake afterwards, that went on until midnight. It was what I wanted and what I could afford (no life insurance) and our families agreed on. I can assure you that my late DH (Oxford and Manchester) and I and both our families strongly value education, despite having the lack of taste to go in for a funeral with horses, glass hearses, plumes, hymns and lots of alcohol.
Tin lid for you: all the men present wore extravagant hats (not in church, obv) and my brother a tartan Vivienne Westwood suit, others wore their family tartan; the coffin was carried by DH's young male kin and I wore a long red and blue silk dress, a blue corduroy cloak and a tri-corn with feathers.

Come on, spit it out - you're trying to say they're Travellers aren't you? Why so coy about it?

(FWIW I don't think they are Travellers but it's hardly relevant is it?)

It’s incredibly tragic that this woman’s life was lost. Hopefully, regulators will step in to ensure that unsafe procedures aren’t available in beauty salons. That the health/beauty industry isn’t able to market unnecessary procedures with unacceptable risks - and hopefully the appropriate investigations will happen.

But what I find more horrifying are the people who seem almost gleeful at her death. That are using this to spout judgment and criticism of someone they don’t know, and decisions they hand no insight to.

Her friends and family may see these comments, or comments like these. They can be very distressing - and are completely unnecessary. Death was not the expected outcome of the procedure, it also wasn’t a likely outcome.

We can highlight the risk of these procedures, and help spread awareness, without attacking or speaking in a degrading manner about the woman who died.

I thought she meant Travellers too.

@itwasnevermine we are talking about women here.

I said that too. But that's hard work.

They haven't - but I think you are on the wrong thread anyway.

I was, I had multiple threads going and accidentally posted on wrong one. Just noticed 🫤

As an aesthetics practitioner herself she knew the super high risks of that treatment. No surgeon in the UK will do it because it’s so high risk yet she trusted someone who looks like he does to make her backside fuller. Poor kids.

@poppyzbrite4 Anti aging creams aren't aimed at you as you're male, therefore you don't think they would benefit you. They rarely have a benefit, they're usually overpriced crap sold as the elixir of youth - it's about focusing on women's insecurities. You haven't had a lifetime of socialisation reducing you to your looks and playing on your insecurities. You don't buy beauty products because they're marketed at women. The beauty industry is predominantly about women.

As I already explained in my previous comment, beauty products being marketed at women is not the reason why I don't buy them. It would make no difference if they were marketed at men. If they were marketed at men, I still wouldn't buy them because I don't believe they would have any benefit.

You think that because the sexes are socialised differently and these products aren't relentlessly marketed at you. Beauty products do do something, make up is used to enhance your attraction, hair products are used to style your hair.

A product or item having a tangible benefit is a completely different thing to marketing.

If a substantial number of women said my appearance would approve if I used makeup, hair products, or anti-ageing creams, then I would buy and use these products.

I have not heard any such comments from women. Therefore, I don't buy makeup, hair products, or anti-ageing creams.

It depends why you're working out. Many men want bigger muscles and visible abs, hence the low body fat. They don't do weights to get smaller, they do weights and take protein to get bigger. Men also take steroids to bulk up quicker.

Yes, that's what I just explained. Men opt for a very low body fat % because many men want a bodybuilder body, which is mostly a cosmetic thing. Becoming bigger is not the sole goal. As I just explained, if men wanted to be as big as possible, then they would opt for a "strongman" build (muscular with a higher body fat %) rather than a "bodybuilder" build. Bodybuilders look tiny when placed beside strongmen.