To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand

[Chickenrun12]

Hi all, I'm trying to understand why my boyfriend would ask me this before I cancel our holiday. We have been together about a year and we are going to Thailand on Wednesday, he has never left Europe so we are both looking forward to it. Early today I mentioned I had read there are ALOT of massage places offering happy endings where we are staying thinking we would both have a have a bit of a laugh about it so I was shocked when he said 'I could get a hand job and you could watch' I laughed and said yeah right thinking he was joking but he carried on by saying 'it wouldn't be cheating if you were in the room would it'. I asked if he was joking and he said no. I couldn't believe he'd even suggest it. I said OK maybe I can get a happy ending from a man whilst you're in the room (I would never) and he got very annoyed saying it's totally different and why would I even say that. This is our first holiday together. I have planned and paid for this holiday as a gift and I just cannot believe he would even suggest it. He did apologise after I told him how upset I was.

For context he slept around alot whilst we were seeing each other but not officially together whilst saying if I ever slept with someone else he would never see me again. He swears blind he has been loyal since we have been official and I believe him (maybe stupidly). Any thoughts? I feel like not going at this point but maybe that's an overreaction

Don't cancel but don't take him either.
If you do, I'd dump his sorry arse as soon as you're back.

Do not have him as a boyfriend if you want a monogamous relationship. You won’t get it from him. He’s seen you be fine with him sleeping with other people and is comfortable enough to have had the massage parlour conversation with you. He knows you like him enough to want to buy him a holiday to Thailand.

go by yourself, and have an amazing time.

You were extremely silly to get into this relationship in the first place, he showed you from the start he was a POS when he slept around but demanded that you didn't. He is a misogynist and controlling. Bin him.

As well as the total stupidity of thinking that's an appropriate thing to say in a relationship, I don't think I could cope with the complete hypocrisy. He actually expected you to be ok with it...even though he actually got angry at you for mentioning it? Insane

🤮 He is a revolting sexist pig. Please please please dump his sorry arse. And do not take him on a free all-expenses trip, whilst he treats you like you are beneath him. Who does he think he is?!

Call the travel company and ask how much it would cost to change the name of one traveller. Take a friend/family member instead. If no-one is free at short notice please go by yourself. Solo travelling is wonderful, take a load of books, treat yourself to nice food, lovely massages (the regular kind!) and come back with a weight off your shoulders.

Why are you buying your boyfriend expensive gifts at this stage in your relationships. It should be the other way round. Quite honestly by doing this you are attracting grim spongers and lo and behold a grim sponger.
I won't go out with anyone who won't or can't pay his way. Please stop doing this and have some self respect.

go by yourself or take a friend. But this situation has red flags all over it, please bin him.

Depends - if she hasn’t given him the confirmation code, he can’t check in. She can phone up now and cancel his flight, though she probably won’t get her money back. She may be able to change the name for a fee, though not many people will be able toif she has a friend or relative who can go on a trip to Thailand with 1 weeks’ notice.

And she can certainly prevent him from stay in the hotel!

Don’t cancel the holiday, just go without (what will by then be) your ex.

>Unfaithful
>Misogynistic
>Has no respect for you (or himself)
>Isn't even smart enough to hide his disgusting attitudes (or has realised you have no boundaries, so...)

This is the man you've gifted an all expenses paid trip to Thailand after a year of shoddy dating?

Have a sharp word with yourself!

Another vote for take a friend & dump this twat.

A year in, this is not going to get any better. Imagine being pregnant? He'll think it's fine to have sex with others because you're 'getting fat' 'not putting out' 'tied to him' (or so he thinks).

He has actually been thinking about how to 'get away' with having sex/hand job with other women & the utter fucking nerve to suggest it on a holiday you're paying for is the cherry on the top.

i bet he's a cicklidger too.

BIN THIS TWAT - today.

don't say 'but I love him'. You'll get over it, he doesn't love you, no matter what he says. I'm sorry for whatever happened in your life so far that you're even contemplating not dumping him.

Treat yourself to a real life happy ending - by dumping him.

Classy! So he wants some expolited woman in a third world country to give him a wank, while you get to watch.

Er, no.

he's told you who he is - believe him and take a friend

don't cancel but go solo. And bin him. yuk.

Go on your own. Enjoy..

Urgh, is he really the best you can do? Scraping the bottom of the barrel a bit aren't you?

Just fyi, this man either has or will cheat on you at some point. I'd keep up to date with regular std tests if you want to stay with him for whatever insane reason.

I personally would go without him, Thailand is great for solo travel!

Always trust your gut!

Sack him off, he’s a walking red flag from what you have said.

can you get a friend to take his place so you don’t miss out? Considering you’ve paid for the holiday, you’d be within your rights to say you’re taking someone else

That would give me the major ick

I really wish women would stop entering into relationships with misogynists.

Get this weasel in the bin!

But don’t lose your holiday! If you can change the flight to you plus a friend then do that. If you can’t change it to a different person then can you call the airline and ask to be separated or your ticket bumped to another flight? Explain you think he might turn up and be angry at you? And is your hotel refundable - if so book a different one or to a different day. If not remove him from the booking.

I’d go on my own nd cancel the relationship.

Break up with him.
Don’t cancel the holiday though! Go alone or with a friend!

Dump him now, do not let him back into your life.
It never fails to amaze me what women accept from men. You deserve better.