Bisexual Awareness Month

[InPulaCuSatelitul]

Apparently we’re celebrating this at work, which seems to consist of endless blogs about being bisexual and being “visible.” Fine, no problem with that, but why do I need to know in the workplace? Does it affect how they do their job?

I’m not being goady, I genuinely don’t see why I need to know.

I preferred it a few years ago when everyone had conceded that yes, LGB people are just as dull as everyone else, and nobody was forced to affirm us in the workplace.
Didnt need a month of bloody awareness which just increases intolerance (understandably) from people who are trying to get on with their jobs and their deadlines.

I've looked through your posts, and not sure what you mean?

There is a big difference between having to hide your sexual preferences and announcing them.
I don't care who shags who as long as its legal, consensual and in an appropriate place and while I would be happy to know that Janices daughter is getting married or Fred is off to Ibiza at the weekend I really do NOT need to know their sexual preferences and they don't need to know mine

And the vast majority don't give a flying fig whether Jason from Accounts is sleeping with Daniel or Danielle. But hey we all need a special month to make us feel special.

That kind of talk is horrid but the people that talk like that do it about everybody, we all fall prey to it. The next moment they'll be gossiping about Suzanne having lost too much weight, how it was a bit off of Pat not to go to Jane's leaving do, how the new temp girl thinks she knows it all and endless speculation about if Martin from accounting is having an affair with Katie from auditing. It's not just a special bit of nastiness for bisexuals. They are not going stop because of a special 'awareness' power point presentation, its just human nature.

That conflating bisexuality with someone's sex life is an issue.

IS there a big difference? I don’t think so at all. That certainly hasn’t been my experience. I very much have had to choose whether to tell people, or whether to consciously withhold it. If that’s your experience then that’s great, but it hasn’t been mine.

@Katielovesteatime its rather depressing isn’t it. I will have to throw away my big gay sign and rainbow flag I’ve been carrying around for all of that attention we are craving.

erm OK - its in the name bi-sex-uality?

How / what else is it?

Lesbians like sex with women
Gay men like sex with men
Bisexuals like sex with men or women

Also, I obviously don’t mean that I’d like to stand up on a table, clap my hands, call for attention and announce, “Attention everyone! I am bisexual!”

What I mean is, like a PP said, my colleagues and I spend 9 hours a day together! My colleagues share so many parts of their personal lives and we have gotten to know each other really well.

For example, I know all my colleagues partners and kids names. I know when they argue or break up. I know what they did at the weekend and what TV shows they watch together.

I know about their pasts, too - I’ve heard stories about nasty exes, or great holidays they went on with previous boyfriends, or funny stories that happened on dates when they were younger. And so on.

So if I’d like to contribute to some of these conversations then of course, I might need to share (in some way) that I am with, or have been with, people of the same sex.

It’s not about making a PPT all about myself and my sexual preferences. It’s about chatting about my life when they chat about theirs, or answering the questions they ask me honestly.

Stop trying to make it an attention seeking thing. There’s a difference between seeking attention and just not wanting to have to consciously hide parts of yourself.

By your definition, heterosexuality is people who like sex with the opposite gender- but as has been repeated many times on this thread, Susan in the office talking about going to Homebase with her husband at the weekend doesn't immediately conjure up images of their sex life or "what gets them going".

Anyway the definition of sexuality is about more than sex- sexuality involves how people experience attraction, who they form intimate bonds with, and how they identify in terms of sexual orientation. It’s about who someone is drawn to, in terms of gender, for relationships or intimacy, but it doesn’t always centre on the physical aspect.

By your definition, heterosexuality is people who like sex with the opposite gender- but as has been repeated many times on this thread, Susan in the office talking about going to Homebase with her husband at the weekend doesn't immediately conjure up images of their sex life or "what gets them going".

And you saying you're spending the weekend with Brenda or Brian is exactly the same, I don't think about what my lesbian friends are up to in the bedroom, any more than I think about my neighbours sex life, most people really dont care

Is that why you said "I dont need to know what gets you going at work, its not appropriate - I dont care about your sex life"?

What is wrong with me not wanting to know what you do in the bedroom ?

Some people could start a fight in an empty room

As a bisexual (but with a woman for 25 years now) in my 60s, I found that when people I worked with found out I was bi they were rather impressed!

Of course if someone comes into an office and says "I shagged this person and the weekend and we did it in this position" etc that is different and totally inappropriate but literally nobody is talking about that?

This is about finding out someone is gay or bisexual and responding that you don't need to know what gets them going (which is what you said).

I think you’re quite spectacularly missing the point.

Haha! We should probably start our own thread to strategize some more effective attention seeking tactics. It seems they’re on to us!

No - you are making a bigger deal out of something that doesnt need to be.

I think it's amazing that someone can tell you about their lived experience and how other people's behaviour has negatively impacted it, and people with no understanding of that lived experience can think they know better.

Just because you don’t understand WHY what you’ve said is upsetting and offensive, doesn’t mean it isn’t. 🤦‍♀️

Isn’t it! I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself, my experiences and my personal motives from some of the strangers on this thread 😂

So does this mean it should be acceptable? If someone was making racist comments in the workplace, or saying "women are at it again, trying to get out of the kitchen", are we supposed to just not care because it is 'human nature'?

I'm not saying this necessarily needs to be a full month, but the whole idea of these things is to show that the place you work is accepting and inclusive, and that you can count on them having your back if you are being harassed, excluded or bullied because you are bisexual. Which does happen. You don't have to talk about your sex life, a simple comment might give it away:

"My wife and I divorced a few years ago, but my current boyfriend is really nice."

(When married to a man) "Oh, my ex girlfriend was a bit like that haha"

These are all standard casual conversations you might have with colleagues that will 'give away' that you are bisexual. And you can totally get harassed or bullied for it in the work place. Sure, you can just not share these things, but a lot of people actually want to feel like they belong, and that they can connect with people on a basic level. I have had to hide from people that I am bisexual because they would not take it well - if I was outed in the workplace, I appreciate knowing that I work somewhere safe.

This isn't about converting bigoted people. It is about letting people know that harmful comments and harassment are not part of the workplace culture and will not be tolerated, that HR won't 'look the other way' because that's just how it is.

I worked in a place where there were a lot of gay people (and an openly bi as they’d had relationships with both sexes at the same place of work). No one batted an eyelid and in the three years I was there I never saw any kind of ‘awareness’ days, weeks or months. It didn’t seem necessary as it was obviously a place where acceptance was the norm but in an understated way and everyone just getting on with their jobs.

What difference does them being employee led make?

It is no different than people bringing in speakers on being a good Baptist ally, or Marxism, it has no place in a workplace.

People can go to meetings about politics, religion, and social issues outside of work if they want to. No one should feel any kind of pressure around their religious and ideological beliefs at work.