Bisexual Awareness Month

[InPulaCuSatelitul]

Apparently we’re celebrating this at work, which seems to consist of endless blogs about being bisexual and being “visible.” Fine, no problem with that, but why do I need to know in the workplace? Does it affect how they do their job?

I’m not being goady, I genuinely don’t see why I need to know.

No one is doing that, or saying people can't mention their wedding.

They are saying their workplace shouldn't be subjecting them to "education" about what they are supposed to think, and there should be pressure to accept, or not accept, certain things.

Yes, and apparently the best people to manage and enforce it is our bosses.

Jesus.

Nobody does in any case.

Some people consistently seem to think anyone is upset because someone mentions a non-hetreosexual partner.

No, no one gives a shit. And generally they are happy to be polite in a general way.

What they object to is being told, by their employer, that they are obliged to have certain thoughts about sexuality, or any other issues.

People are allowed to think what they like, and it's none of their employers business.

Do you understand that your workplace could potentially have people who come from conservative religious backgrounds, and that they are supposed to be protected, by law, in their workplace against being told that their religious views are not ok?

Nor should they need to be put in a position of avoiding these kinds of education events.

How are you going to square that with the employer telling people they need to think a certain way?

If you want to run a biphobia campaign fill your boots, but it's totally inappropriate in a workplace. No differernt than an employer deciding to run a program on why people should be pro-euthanasia.

People are allowed to think what they like, having employees does not give anyone the right to subject them to indoctrination of any type.

The thread wasn’t about not employing NB people. It was how announcing your NB status and pronouns as you introduced yourself at an interview was NOT a good thing and might put off some employers.

In exactly the same way as introducing yourself as “ I’m Bob and I’m Muslim / a Scientologist / an out and proud gay man / a vegan / a menopausal woman is a bad idea , because it implies that these things are Very Important and need to be taken account of by your employer and your colleagues. And that they are much more important than other peoples’ characteristics and that you are Special and will need Special Treatment.

They are only relevant if it’s related to your job eg you have diabetes and the job is working for a charity that support diabetics.

Otherwise it makes everyone think that you are going to be moaning about everyone else eating cake on Fridays and complaining that it’s discrimination and should Be Stopped and that everyone needs to do penance by raising money for diabetic charities. When your company makes widgets and have supported a local environmental charity for decades.

The normal thing to do is to wait until you are offered the job, then disclose that you are type 1 diabetic and ask if you can have access to a fridge to keep your meds ( I’m just making this up BTW I don’t know if that’s actually needed but you get my drift ).

Personally I can’t eat cake because I’m intolerant of gluten, but I don’t get annoyed every time someone in the office offers me a biscuit or a cake. I don’t complain that they are discriminating against me and deliberately trying to exclude me by offering something I can’t eat. I don’t insist that HR run a coeliac awareness scheme or send some of my colleagues for compulsory reeducation.

I just assume that they haven’t remembered and they’re trying to be nice.

The NB thing is exactly the same as most people are saying here about “ bi awareness “. your colleagues and employers don’t give a stuff who you shag , when you shag them, what you eat and what you believe.

What they DO care about is hiring competent people who will get along with others in the team and not bang on about their dietary or sexual preference / religious or cultural beliefs and insist that everyone else cater to them, lay attention to them and centre them in everything . Most people have some sort of private life and they don’t want to hear about yours and why it makes you Special and deserving of Recognition and Awareness.

No one wants to hire a snowflake. It not about your sexuality ,it’s about your snowflakeness.

And Sandra is checking out the organisation's DEI policies before she applies for the positions so she knows she would be working in an inclusive environment since she is a clever and intelligent woman. It still doesn't alter the fact that many employees wouldn't intentionally insult her anyway even if the culture is a touch on the tangy side.

I don't take anything as a given. I worked in male dominated industries since the late 80s and I am a motorcycle rider, I know about the culture of anything can be difficult for certain people depending upon the culture, I've been in that position myself many times simply because I am obviously a different shape to many of my colleagues.

Difference is, when I started in those cultures, only a few mad people were shouting phobia or ist at folk who might have the temerity to ask a simple question in those days. Now they do, even just for the slightest ill thought out comment, it makes people wary of engaging so they become disinterested.

Once you've alienated those who have dared to ask a question or said they don't care if someone has male and female partners by telling them what terrible individuals they are, you've lost them as an audience.

Who are awareness months, weeks, days for? A lot of activists of all kinds have shut down the discussions and reduced an audience that might have been bigger if they hadn't been so quick to take offense even when none was offered? They only seem to be for those who are tolerant and curious and those who live with the subect as an aspect of their life.

Awareness days, weeks, and months are all about taking light into the light. There is no point to that.

"Why isn't there a straight pride?"
appropriate username given your comment could have been lifted from the daily mail c.1970s....

I do understand these days, weeks and months lose impact. I’m not really sure what you mean about being offended by questions. If someone asks me a question I assume they’re interested in my life and I answer it. It doesn’t matter if it is about my sexuality. I therefore disagree that a culture of fear has been created.

What do you think the answer is if these events are pointless?

I agree, I always answer the questions, I mentioned them because others have mentioned being upset by questions in the thread that it is phobic.

My thoughts are that if history tells us anything about a change of culture it is that it is slow, incremental changes to ordinary peoples lives that are set off by a catalyst along the way. Look at any timeline for change, womens rights, gay rights, the Childrens Act etc they all began to improve with slow small changes in attitude with the occasional scandal until it becomes the norm to accept it. No one has any patience, of course, it would be wrong of me to say it was otherwise in the past, it wasn't, we're an impatient species.

I played my small part by just being good at what I did and forging relationships with people and ignoring or calling out the BS along the way, that is when it is BS. We all have our differences but there is so much more that unites us as humans, shame we have lost sight of that.

It depends what the questions are I suppose. If it’s a genuine question yes but if it’s a creepy bloke who gets off on two women getting together, not so great!

I do agree in part but sometimes attitudes are only changed by actions and visibility. I think it’s actually more unhelpful to pretend everything is okay, everyone is really tolerant and differences are accepted because no one cares anymore. That said, I also understand why there is a backlash to this kind of thing because it does feel like “what next!?”

I think the only time people really care is when the relationship is between colleagues

Oh, get over yourself. You really think there is a need for a bisexual month in the workplace? Jeesus, I'm bi as well but no need to be shouting about it on the rooftops because it's not or atleast shouldn't be interesting to anyone but myself.

Do you have the same issue re: gay pride? Or is it just bisexuals that you think are cringe?

The answer to what?

If people are acting within the law at work what's the issue?

All of these posts are talking about whether people are still biphobic or homophobic etc. It doesn't matter. The workplace is not an appropriate place to try and convince people of your ideological beliefs, no matter how dearly you hold them.

Some people will always walk the line of being antisocial or unprofessional or borderline rude. Some are jerks, some have poor boundaries, some aren't all that socially sensitive. Sometimes it's best to ignore them, or sometimes it's best to say something to them, sometimes it's serious enough to address with a manager. It's human nature. An employer can tell an employee to not behave a certain way, but it's none of their business what an employee thinks.

Do you think an employer who is an Orthodox Christian should be allowed to run programs about theology in the workplace, or it's intersection with politics? Or is it only some belief systems where your boss is allowed to do that?

This is a pluralistic society, people are meant to be protected from this in their workplace.

1. it very much DOES matter if people are still biphobia or homophobic
2. employers can of course tell employees not to be biphobic, homophobic, racist, Islamophobic etc
3. As I mentioned before, yes, Christians - or anyone of any religion - should be welcome to host a ‘Christian Visibility Week’ if they too want to share their experiences. I’d happily participate in an event like this because being respectful of those we share society with, and making an effort to understand them and their experience, is part of being a grown up. I’d love that!
4. Just because bisexual awareness month isn’t important to you, or you don’t understand why it’s important to some people, doesn’t mean it’s not important! Unfortunately you don’t get to decide what other people consider important. You can simply choose to not participate and let others get on with it. Easy!

HTH 😌

I don’t want any of this shit at work. Its all virtual signalling, attention seeking bollocks.

Im bi. I’m a feminist. I’m a leftie. I’m not one of the ‘PC yawn maaaad’ brigade. But even I am sick to the back teeth of LGBT ‘awareness raising’, ‘visibility’, ‘celebration’ or (the worst) ‘history’ stuff in my workplace. And all the other stupid, pointless days or weeks or months (months for fuck sake!) of identity politics BS.

Just fucking let me do my job and act within the law as an employer, and we are good.

Bi Awareness Week can fuck right off.

You don't seem to understand context. It does not matter in terms of an employer employee relationship.

An employer has no more business telling you what to think about sexuality or marriage or adultery than about vegetarianism or environmental justice.

This person is not your teacher or any kind of moral authority to you.

These awareness days are a misnomer. Its' nothing to do with awareness. Everyone is aware. It's about telling people what they are meant to believe.

I am not pretending everything is OK etc, people are just too tied up in their own lives to do anything much to help. Every cause going knows full well you cannot force everyone to care or advocate for that cause but some causes are trying to force societal change very quickly. It is causing compassion fatigue because people have started to feel financially and socially threarened by it.

That is very true

Absolutely it matters. Nobody is trying to police anyone’s thoughts - but employers have every right and indeed a responsibility to ensure that people aren’t discriminated against and that hate crimes don’t take place. People spend most of their lives in their workplaces - of course they need to be safe places.

I don’t think everyone needs to actively care about everything. But it’s important to make everyone feel safe, included, welcome and accepted, regardless of religion or sexuality.

The people who have a problem with this seem to be mistakenly assuming that the day is for the benefit of heterosexual people.

(Religion, sexuality, race … anything. The fact is, it’s important to ensure people feel safe and accepted, especially those groups of people who, quite often, don’t feel like this.)

Again, the purpose of the event is not to provide entertainment to heterosexual people. It doesn’t matter whether people care about it or not. If you don’t care, great! It won’t bother you. If you do care and are angry about the existence of bisexual people, and feel they should have to hide this aspect of their life, or view it as a shameful, dirty secret, then you are exactly the reason why the event is needed.

Most of all, though, the event if for bisexual people, to make them feel safe and welcome in the environment where they spend most of their lives.

I’ll say it again - if it doesn’t interest you, it’s probably not for you. AND THAT’S OK! Not everything is for you about you!

I don't think you will find a single person in the discussion who thinks an employer should stand by if one employee behaves inappropriately to another. They should be told what is acceptable and if necessary be disciplined.

But it's not really up to other employees to make people feel warm fuzzies "welcomed and safe". They need to have a professional atmosphere in the workplace. We aren't actually obliged to like other people we work with. And we aren't required to approve of them either.

What people who love this stuff don't seem to realize is that if you begin to push on one side, you are alienating the other. If you are telling your employees who are traditional Muslims, or Orthodox Jews, or Catholics, that they need to approve and accept everyone elses lifestyle, or make them feel they need to be seen at particular kinds of work events, etc, you are then making the space uncomfortable for those people. They do not feel welcomed or safe or accepted.

A big company can have hundreds or thousands of employees. Many will have very different belief systems. Some of those actually have very different values that oppose each other. There are belief systems that believe anyone who eats meat is morally culpable. That people who use birth control are making a big, ethical mistake. That it is ok to be part of a thrupple, or use prostitutes. That sex is only ok for procreative purposes. That whiteness should be banned. And many many other things.

The only way for all of these people to get on in a workplace is to keep a certain kind f professionalism, and not expect that others should approve of any of the things you believe or do in your life outside of work.

This type of environment can actually be surprisingly effective at building relationships between people who have vastly different belief systems. But as soon as you have some of those people allowed to start telling other people that their beliefs are bigoted or wrong and they should be reeducated, that all goes tits up. It doesn't even matter which group, no one likes being the target of propaganda at work.

Gosh, this post is really sad. It’s oozing biphobia on so many levels and shows a real lack of understanding. Worse still, I don’t think you wrote this maliciously or can see the problem with it at all. It’s the epitome of a lack of awareness. Posts like this that prove just how necessary awareness events really are.

Posters before me have written really good replies - if you can’t see what is wrong with your post then you can read the thread and explanations from other posters in response to comments like yours should make it clear. I don’t think I have the energy to repeat the same thing that’s been said again and again by myself and others.

But thank you for your message as it’s really reinforced, for me, the importance of awareness events.

That's the best comment I've seen in a very long time.

Especially liked the bit, "it's like it is bloody illegal today to say anything that wouldn't get a round of applause on twitter".

That is so true and the best way to describe what goes on around discussing a wide variety of topics.

Only Groupthink allowed and even sticking to it won't necessarily stop the pile on. You've only got to suspected of Wrongthink. You have to choose your words so carefully.

I also find it laughable when it's a case of being offended on behalf of others over things not relevant to themself, when the relevant parties don't give a single shit. Very common, that one.