Bisexual Awareness Month

[InPulaCuSatelitul]

Apparently we’re celebrating this at work, which seems to consist of endless blogs about being bisexual and being “visible.” Fine, no problem with that, but why do I need to know in the workplace? Does it affect how they do their job?

I’m not being goady, I genuinely don’t see why I need to know.

You're missing the point. Nobody is forced, during events like this, to share aspects of themselves if they don't want to. But without events like this, people might feel forced to hide aspects of themselves.

What is it you would want to discuss at work about being bi sexual though? Genuine question. Because other than a passing reference to our partners or a bit of chit chat about our home life where they might feature, most people would simply refer to their partner by name or say they were male or female. In what circumstances would it be that you would say my partner is currently female, but before that I had a male partner? Not that you couldn't or should expect shock from colleagues, but would it really be something people did at such frequency there had to be special awareness around it?

What is it you would want to discuss at work about being bi sexual though? Genuine question. Because other than a passing reference to our partners or a bit of chit chat about our home life where they might feature, most people would simply refer to their partner by name or say they were male or female. In what circumstances would it be that you would say my partner is currently female, but before that I had a male partner? Not that you couldn't or should expect shock from colleagues, but would it really be something people did at such frequency there had to be special awareness around it?

Some ways you can mention your sexuality at work-

• My boyfriend got promoted last month
• My husband and I watched that Netflix programme you recommended
• I went to Sicily with my boyfriend last year
• We're decorating our living room at the moment- I hate painting but luckily my husband is good at it!

As heterosexuality is assumed, if you are a woman none of the above is likely to invite any further question about your personal or sex life.

If you are a woman and you mention a girlfriend/wife in those examples, you are likely to receive personal follow up questions along the lines of the examples I gave upthread. Not every workplace! And not all the time! But at some point in your life you probably will.

THAT is the difference.

Cheering you on @sweetpickle2 😁

Microagressions are part of the wider problem that normalises ignorance and ultimately leads to the hate crimes you have described.

My lesbian boss has a baby. Gametes are biology, carrying a child is biology but conception doesn't have to be penis-in-vagina. Same sex couples have children and it's nothing new. I'm not sure if that was the point you were making but babies are either cute or boring when mentioned, regardless. I make the accepted noises but I only really care if the parent is somebody I care about, if that makes sense.

If I met you and you told me that you were bi-sexual I wouldn't think anything of it, anymore than when I met my boss and she told me she was a lesbian. If you['re making the point that heterosexual people do not feel compelled to state their sexuality then yes, I agree with you. I've never ever told anybody that I'm straight, never felt the need to because it's accepted as 'the norm'. I totally get that. I've never known anything different.

When you talk about being bisexual or gay, what kind of conversations are those as opposed to what a heterosexual person might talk about? As I've said, bedroom chat isn't something I want to know about from anybody so that can be removed from focus. What is there about bisexuality or being gay that cannot be talked about? Nobody does discuss heterosexuality, that's the point but also the point that because it's 'the norm' then there's perhaps an unfairness there that straight people would be unaware of. That's what I'm asking.

I think it was George Michael who said "it isn't about who you can get it up for, it's about who you can fall in love with".

And who needs to be talking to their work colleagues about that kind of stuff, it's far too precious to be taking to work.

But Sandra might want to work in an organisation where she knows it’s absolutely fine to discuss her wife out in the open. Don’t take it as a given that this culture exists in every place of work, it doesn’t.

OK, but only if we can upgrade Talk Like a Pirate Day to Talk Like a Pirate Week.

Being gay and bisexual is normal

Totally agree, I dont need to know what gets you going at work, its not appropriate - I dont care about your sex life

I (obviously) don't mean that an individual microagression will directly lead to a hate crime against that individual. I think you know that.

Microaggressions can cumulatively contribute to a hostile social environment which can increase the likelihood of overt acts of hate. There is data on this if you're actually interested, for example www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/2021-sept-microaggressions.html

This comment exactly proves what I've been saying for several pages.

100%

This is my personal favourite. “What you choose to do with your minge has nothing to do with work ffs!” 🤦‍♀️

Plenty of hetro men out there doing the dirty

I completely get that and I'm all for a culture where people don't make assumptions everyone has an opposite sex partner. I can see perfectly why Sandra wouldn't want people to assume she had a husband when she has a wife. What im not sure about is why she'd want us to know that while she currently has a wife, she may one day have a husband.

And again, we already have laws in place to deal with that in the work place.

Clearly we’re not going to agree, but let me explain something about my position on this, I was abused as a child, I was actually seriously victimised, and do you know what it does? It makes you never want to be a victim again. So I choose not to let so called ‘microagressions’ about being left handed, child free, short, or bi impact me, because A. They are literally nothing compared to real abuse, and B, because some dickheads thoughts on bi people being promiscuous doesn’t actually make it true, it doesn’t change my life in the slightest, it won’t stop me being bi, it won’t change how I live my life or what I talk about. I’m not responsible for how they feel and they are not responsible for how I feel. You will never have a perfect society where rude people, or just people who don’t agree with you, don’t exist, so you have to have somewhat of a thicker skin.

Everyone I know is sick of this stuff, we are sick of hearing about it. No one needs to hear this tedious drivel. Why on earth does anyone I work either need to know if I've been sexually involved with men, women or both? Who bloody cares??

Our society is sick, no wonder the younger generation are struggling, having been stuffed with a steady diet of this meaningless guff during their formative years.

Naunet, I know this thread isn't about this but I'm also left-handed and I can remember being teased/bullied for smudged writing as a child. Feeling different and unable to change it, it stays with you.

Your post resonated with me.

This.

It's not about "offence", not that any single individual is the arbiter of what is or is not offensive anyway, it's about the continual, utterly tiresome "ffs this again" aspect of repeatedly encountering people who still assume a hetero default to everything and everyone, and never stop for a moment to consider whether it applies to you or not.

After decades of it, it really grates, especially when you are told over and over that we live in an enlightened society, people are not phobic, and nobody cares. Well I care, and it's difficult not to just write these people off as idiots, even though I know there is rarely any malice to it.

It's naive ignorance, but it's still ignorance, hence why sometimes a bit more awareness wouldn't go amiss.

People don't stop being Bisexual the moment they step out of their bedroom, so no, the issue isn't solely concerned with what goes on in people's bedrooms, and it's staggeringly ignorant to frame it as such.

Thank you, it does I think. We had to use bloody fountain pens too in junior school, can you imagine the state of the left handed kids left shirt sleeves?!

Deal. But only if talk like a pirate week is in bisexual month, so that I can talk about being bisexual in a pirate voice.