Bisexual Awareness Month

[InPulaCuSatelitul]

Apparently we’re celebrating this at work, which seems to consist of endless blogs about being bisexual and being “visible.” Fine, no problem with that, but why do I need to know in the workplace? Does it affect how they do their job?

I’m not being goady, I genuinely don’t see why I need to know.

The ‘phobic’ whining on this thread <sigh>

Its embarrassing.

The need to feel hard done by and oppressed. What’s wrong with people these days? Never experienced real hardship or fought a real fight against prejudice or discrimination in their lives, clearly.

What you are describing is a normal conversation, all that is needed. A Pride moth or A Bisexual awareness month is not required. How many workplaces have a Hetrosexual month? How many supermarkets, clothes stores have flags, banners and coffee mornings for hetrosexual month, none because there is no need to even be in the slightest bit interested in peoples sexual preferences.
These "celebrations" are nothing but attention seeking for those that don't want to be treated as every ones else is, oh no that is not for them, they need to be "special"

Everyone I know who is bi/ gay/lesbian and what other people to know about it just drop it into normal conversation at work. Like this

my parter and I went to Paris last year
what did she think of it ?
Actually my partner is a man, he’s called Steve, we’ve been together for 5 years
ok, cool so what where do you stay in Paris?

someone might say

sorry I just assumed it was a woman, hope I didn’t offend you

and the correct response is “ no worries”.

No one is asking you not to chat about your life or answer honestly, just like everyone else. The number of people at work who actually care about the sex of your current or former partners is vanishingly small.

they mostly want to talk about Paris, or footfall or what’s on the TV.

what WILL seem totally weird is if you have been working somewhere for years and everyone talks about their partner / kids / dogs and you say nothing, because you are convinced that they are all hateful bigots who won’t accept you are gay / whatever .

so people will naturally assume that you have no partner / kids / dog. Then you suddenly announce two years down the line at an Awareness Event that you have a partner who is the same sex and a cat and you were scared to tell anyone because of the heteronormative bi phobia / cat phobia exists in your workplace. And that you have been deeply hurt and traumatised every single day for the last two years because people have assumed that you were straight.

THAT is what will mark you out as weird and attention seeking.

Tell people or don’t tell them, it’s your choice. But don’t blame others for your choices.

Not sure who you prefer to shag is small talk

@Bobbingtons @sweetpickle2 @Combattingthemoaners and @ anyone I've missed... Do you by any chance know of any forums or online communities for LGBTQ+ people? It's been nice to read others experiences but MN can be a bit... Mumsnetty and the LGBT parents board is fairly dead! Was wondering if anyone had any recommendations?

I don’t, I’m afraid. I have also been looking on the LGBT parent board but the posts are from 3 years ago. Limited gays it seems haha.

Talking about your parter is no more talking about who you prefer to shag than Susan from work talking about going to Asda with her husband.

Conflating sexual preference with "who you like to shag" when it's someone who isn't straight is, as has been explained countless times, a stereotype.

I don't understand how bisexuality is not about who you like to 'shag'

I am heterosexual I like men - this includes having sex with men

If you're a lesbian, you are female and attracted to women, and probably like to have sex with them

If you are bisexual surely you like men and women and like to have sex with them??

Your sexuality is who you want to have sex with

Unless you don't want to have sex, then you're probably asexual

((Google AI says ))

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation that describes a person who is romantically or sexually attracted to people of more than one gender. Bisexual people can be attracted to people of the same gender and different genders, or to both men and women.

Bisexuality
Definition
A sexual orientation that describes a person who is romantically or sexually attracted to people of more than one gender
Characteristics
Bisexual people may have different levels of attraction to different genders, and their attraction may vary over time
Labeling
Bisexuality is a general term, and people may not label themselves as bisexual for a variety of reasons
Relationships
Bisexual people may be in long-term same-sex or heterosexual relationships, or they may alternate between the two

Yes, who you like to have sex with is part of sexuality- but surely you understand it's not the whole entire thing?

Heterosexuals don't just have sex with the opposite sex and nothing else- plenty of people of all sexualities don't enjoy sex much or at all, doesn't mean they're no longer that sexuality.

And in the context of work, which is what we're talking about, revealing what your sexuality is doesn't and shouldn't automatically conflate to shagging- particularly when people only do this with sexualities that aren't hetero.

You say you're heterosexual- if you came into work and talked about how you spent the weekend decorating your living room with your boyfriend, would you expect to be met with "I don't need to hear what genitals you prefer and who you like shagging, this is a workplace!!"

no and thats the point
""I don't need to hear what genitals you prefer and who you like shagging, this is a workplace!!""

Most of the world would just think - you talking about decorating your living room with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/non binary life partner... is that you are talking about painting your living room - no one really cares

But if someone came into work and said "I decorated the house with my partner"
whether that partner is male, female or whatever is irrelevant and of no interest to me.
Their partners sex only becomes relevant if I want to invite them to an activity that is prohibited by their sex and the chances of that are vanishingly unlikley.

I would say "nice, what colour" rather than "are you bisexual?" at this point

Exactly. It's primarily about a romantic connection. Seeing things as fine for heterosexuals but grotty when two people of the same gender do the same isn't cool.

Okay if that's you then great.

I'm talking to the many many many people on this thread who have conflated hearing about someone's sexuality with hearing about their sex life.

Spoken like a true heterosexual who has never experienced homophobia.

Kizmette, on the non-binary thread, where I agreed w you, you said you were lesbian. Now you're speaking for bi people here, & saying you're bi. You can't have it both ways.

Here's me thinking that was the point of being Bi. 🤔

Does your sexual preference have to be set in stone?

I don't believe every woman or man who started in a heterosexual relationship and then in later years "discovered" they were lesbian/gay/bi?

I think sexuality is fluid, and moves as you age