Affair partner lied to me

[Midlifecrisis4]

Hi. First time posting but could really do with some advice. My affair partner of 4 years blatantly lied to me today about information that he shared with another colleague. It was to do with him asking her advice about a forthcoming (secret) interview for a job elsewhere. I said did you ask her for advice when he went to meet with her and he said no and that the meeting was about something else entirely. Devastated as whilst I know that we are being deceitful by the nature of having an affair, I thought that between us we were honest, best friends and confidantes at work. For context, he is a big flirt, has got close to this other colleague in recent months and she has become distant with me over the same timeframe. I have long suspected he is a convert narcissist due to many behaviours and do wonder if he has moved on. I’m very much in love with him and desire him sexually - the reason I’m still involved ! Just very upset and don’t know where to go from here.

Years ago I worked at a place where a colleague was knocking off one of the managers. We were all part of the same group who met for nights out etc. she used to tell me about their sordid meetings, how she used to jump when he called, lie to her husband about where she was going and go met with this manager (a known office sleaze!)
I remember once she was moaning about how he never took her anywhere nice, even just for a drink, but just humped in the car or somewhere outdoors. She then complained that “he treats me just like a prostitute!”
I said perhaps that’s because you’re acting like one….

Why are you surprised he's a liar??!!!

Blimey. I'm glad I don't live in your neck of the woods OP. If the standard of men is so low that taking it in turns with two other women to spank some twat with ED is what passes for a sex life, then Wolverhampton doesn't seem as bad after all.

Disgusting. Hate people like you.

OP, novel idea, but rather than being shocked that the married man you're having an affair with may be cheating, shouldn't you just step away and concentrate on your own marriage, the partner you've been cheating on for more than four years, and any children you may have?

I think you need to give your head a wobble and not your arse cheeks.

Yes you are naive.You are his bit on the side just for his thrills and sex.Get a bit of respect and move on .

He held you down as you tried to stop sex ? That is rape

He beats around the bush then.

Part of the BDSM mind fuck is destroying the "subs" self-esteem and making them believe that they don't deserve anything but that which the "dom" deigns to give them.
This woman is in an abusive relationship. Other women here who are saying just leave, and being very insulting about it: please understand that there is classic lovebombing here as well as a power imbalance in the work place. You all know about cycle in abusive relationships, how difficult it is to actually leave. How the situation started (perhaps grooming from her boss?) does make it complicated to leave because of the secrecy and shame.
This man targeted you for your vulnerability and has systematically broken you down through abuse and conditioning. You don't deserve to be treated like this. No one does.
Have a word with your colleague. Show her your bruises/injuries, if you have some currently. Confide in her how you feel trapped (as you want to leave him and find another job because of his abuse but his lovebombing manages to draw you back). Ask her for her help, if she has been approached by him - does she feel brave enough to together make a sexual harassment complaint?

Tell your husband that it's a problem and it's over. Ask him to help you move on, leave your job, and get couples therapy.

Think about how you were groomed by a superior into being assaulted and financially exploited for his kink - in return for being sometimes "rewarded" with intimacy and affection. What was lacking in your life that made you vulnerable?

I just can't lolololol I mean how stupid are you woman 😂

Hahahaha this is joke right. If you are asking for serious advise then my answer is KARMA baby. What goes around comes around and we'll deserve ,🤣

As usual I think OP is a man posting. He wants your contributions to the way he has steered the convo….

Sounds enchanting!!

I'm perplexed as to why you would consider that he might be telling the truth. 🤷‍♀️

Hi yes unfortunately this is crap you mind your self and self-esteem as you go that way you go that way simple as that you are what you eat ..start the way you intend to Go finish.
Nothing worth doing is easy.nothings ever easy that's worth doing as then they all be doing it and there be no Merritt to me quote lol..look you had your fun now control the situation by cutting the Man off your selling your self to cheap if you ask me be blessed 🙄

Who's Woods these are I think I know,his house is by the village though.
These woods are snowy dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep 🤩 Robert frost..
My horse must think it rather queer to stop with out a farmhouse near .he gives his harness Bell's a shake as if to ask if there is some mistake..

What goes around comes around my friend.

Your HR manager could be your friend in all this! Depends how diff you want to make life for him.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I’m not going into the morality /immorality of affair etc. In your situation walk away.. before you got more and more mired in this . The so called red flags you have chosen to ignore .. despite knowing his nature is astonishing . As exciting and addictive affairs can be this whole scenario and relationship is based on a pack of lies . Walk away and get some therapy .

Hahaha

Excellent advice. OP is clearly in thrall to this delightful turd.

You are literally at the wind up here. Every single response gets 10 times more laughable than your original post. 😖

Well now you just sound silly.