Affair partner lied to me

[Midlifecrisis4]

Hi. First time posting but could really do with some advice. My affair partner of 4 years blatantly lied to me today about information that he shared with another colleague. It was to do with him asking her advice about a forthcoming (secret) interview for a job elsewhere. I said did you ask her for advice when he went to meet with her and he said no and that the meeting was about something else entirely. Devastated as whilst I know that we are being deceitful by the nature of having an affair, I thought that between us we were honest, best friends and confidantes at work. For context, he is a big flirt, has got close to this other colleague in recent months and she has become distant with me over the same timeframe. I have long suspected he is a convert narcissist due to many behaviours and do wonder if he has moved on. I’m very much in love with him and desire him sexually - the reason I’m still involved ! Just very upset and don’t know where to go from here.

Nobody is this stupid in real life. You trolling ?

🎻

Lol

Honestly OP, you cannot be this naive. Have you lost all rational, logically thought?

You "cured" his asexuality which didn't prevent him from having previous affairs either.

If course he lies to you, the astounding thing is that you think this is the first time.

Wise up. You and his wife are not the only ones, there's more and he doesn't even try to hide it. He flirts to see if anyone else will bite (figuratively & literally given his BSDM interests )

Back under your bridge
what a load of shit

So he's a cheat who has an orgasm at the thought of hurting a woman and who doesn't pay you any attention.

Just what is it about this twat that you love?

Is he called Paul and sells wine for a living?

😂 Yes I know !! I had the whole ive never told anyone all these suppressed bdsm desires before. I thought I was saving him or healing him or something. Of course it later transpired that he had engaged in some kink with previous partners

Actually not - there are some asexual folks who like kink without a sexual aspect. Kink doesn't always involve sex.

In which case just up the ante, print out the job spec and staple his nips it. He'll soon forget about secret conversation woman.

I do have self esteem issues. He basically has me on string when he tells me if and when he is willing to talk to me or see me.

He is probably already having sex with her or with someone else.

What the hell do you love about him? He just sounds shit in every way.

If your best friend told you this story as if it were her having the affair, what would you advise?

His wife deserves his time and effort, you were just a distraction until the next one comes along. Now you know how his wife will feel when she finds out what a cunt she’s married to. Like fuck he only has sex for your pleasure and not at all with his wife. I’m sure she’d be fascinated to know that g they aren’t getting on and that he’s ready to move on….

He’s a proven liar, as are you incidentally. Don’t believe any more of his sad shit, focus on rebuilding your marriage or getting out of it properly. Have some respect for yourself, your husband and his wife.

So you are his free BDSM partner at his beck and call? Your reward is sex with him. Are you really that stupid not to be able to see how he is using you. He doesn't care for you in the slightest, just getting his kink for free

What about the duped man and woman in your actual relationships affected by this affair? Spare a thought for them.

Yes. He gave that as the reason we had to engage in bdsm for the first year, not intercourse as he wasn’t interested

Did you seriously think that this guy who is having an affair (with you) is trustworthy?? You deserve each other, no sympathy.

I'm Irish and what me and mine would say in a situation like this is "would you ever fuck off " 🤣🤣🤣

Karma

Thanks. I needed to hear this. I thought it was just us - not having sex with anyone other than each other - but I do often feel him pulling away or his attention elsewhere.

A wanker that lies on his wife in order to cheat with you is now lying to you. Fuck me. Shock. Horror.

Oh come on.

Were you born yesterday?

Jesus wept I feel so sorry for his wife and your husband.

Here’s the world’s smallest violin playing the world’s saddest, saddest song for you OP 🎻