Affair partner lied to me

[Midlifecrisis4]

Hi. First time posting but could really do with some advice. My affair partner of 4 years blatantly lied to me today about information that he shared with another colleague. It was to do with him asking her advice about a forthcoming (secret) interview for a job elsewhere. I said did you ask her for advice when he went to meet with her and he said no and that the meeting was about something else entirely. Devastated as whilst I know that we are being deceitful by the nature of having an affair, I thought that between us we were honest, best friends and confidantes at work. For context, he is a big flirt, has got close to this other colleague in recent months and she has become distant with me over the same timeframe. I have long suspected he is a convert narcissist due to many behaviours and do wonder if he has moved on. I’m very much in love with him and desire him sexually - the reason I’m still involved ! Just very upset and don’t know where to go from here.

Yes mine and inflicting pain mixed with pleasure

I have reported the thread . Nobody could be this stupid .

For the love of god women dump his lying cheating ass. Then tell your husband you're a lying cheat too.

This is called Karma ! You'll get no sympathy from me !!

For how who asked what do I want to get out of this post. I really appreciate all the direct comments. I want to walk away. I’ve tried therapy twice now (12 sessions each time with different therapists) and they think I’m trauma bonded in this

Not sure why I'm commenting though, this has got to be a wind up

I get the distinct feeling this man isn't the only one with a humiliation kink...you're all helping the OP out here, guys

He is also my manager if that makes any difference

Oh dear …. I speak from experience here…. Let me tell you my EXH also had affairs throughout our long relationship, which started just after second DC was born. We still had plenty of sex but I’m sure he felt left out with me looking after two babies under two. He finally had a four year affair (again, still having sex at home on a regular basis) and was even proposing to the OW, and she fell for it hook line and sinker. She binned him off in spectacular fashion, I told him to leave and he had no one and was a very sad man. Then he started straight up with another work colleague (it was always work colleagues). This type of man will always say there’s no sex at home, or their wife ignores them, or they’re treated badly, all whilst living their best life at home having meals out with their spouse, or enjoying some passionate moments. He’s now saying you’re obsessed with him? Yup - you’re about to be dropped, and as you work together who do you think will feel the need to leave? Whose jobs at risk? Yup - yours. Unless you want to sit and watch him work his way through the rest of the office.

leave him - and do the right thing and leave your husband so that he can at least find a woman who is honest and faithful.

PPs are right - surely nobody could be this daft, it has to be a wind up.

For god sake.

If you wanted to walk away you would. You clearly don’t.

Why are you acting like you don’t have a choice in this? You chose to start the affair, continue it, convince yourself you were special, convince yourself he wasn’t a liar, carried on doing it for years.

You chose this everyday. You make a choice everyday. You could make a different one.

You’re not trauma bonded. Just stupid and dense.

Why would he trust you if you are having an affair?

He's disgusting. Bin him. You and his wife deserve better.

Thank you x

You have been seeing this man for 4 years and he is MARRIED and quite possibly so are you. My hubby was having an affair with the woman sitting next to him at work. They too were 'best of friends', just like u and the sleazeball you are dating. My marriage was destroyed by it. He lied to both her and I on numerous occasions. My children were devastated by it all. I wd leave this man b 4 his wife finds out and rightly kicks yr arse. When I found out, I told her boss, fellow work colleagues, and threatened to tell her husband. I pretended my hubby and I were still intimate etc, just to f* with her head. I figured they'd destroyed my life and my children's, so I wd play around with theirs. I then fought for an excellent financial settlement. That affair cost him alot of money. They can't stand eachother now I'm told. Move on. You are perfectly capable of finding good sex with a SINGLE man!! 👿😡

Oh fucking hell it gets better

Exactly , thread has been reported.

"I never expected leopards to eat MY face," says woman who voted for Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

This is made up, isn't it? Nobody is this stupid.

I’ve desperately tried to get another job and haven’t managed to yet. Ive been so vulnerable with him emotionally and sexually that seeing him at work all time and him as my manager feels embarrassing

😂😂

He’s not a lawyer is he?

Hilarious that you accuse him of being narcissist when you've just complained that "whilst I know that we are being deceitful by the nature of having an affair, I thought that between us we were honest". Total lack of self-awareness.