Childminder pay after bereavement

[familylifeishard]

Hi all, first time poster here so would appreciate your thoughts. Our childminders mum died last week so she didn’t work 2 of the 3 days my son goes there. No problem as I kept him at home whilst working. My question is, would you still pay her for those 2 days or let it go due to the bereavement. I feel awkward deducting the fees but DH says that the consequences of being self employed. She told me to take it off the monthly fee but I’d already paid it so don’t know what to do next month?! Thanks for reading and any thoughts you have!

Exactly.

This made me snort! It is a pretty cuntish attitude he has.

On the basis that you were able to cope I would pay her, you didn’t have to pay for an alternative and you managed. The child minders bills and out goings are still the damage and having to financially struggle on top of handling the bereavement would put more strain on her. You wnat a healthy happy childminder who will be grateful that you hadn’t considered this a business transaction

Funny, that you say this: Pay her outside of the contract and expect she will do something extra for you later.
If it was state system, it would qualify as a bribe, but in private setup it is just a business, buying a future advantage.

Sure, if you see paying now as an investment, go for it. Just don't pretend it is a morale based choice.

Can't be nice to live in a head that's this angry and self righteous

ETA the op herself has admitted that she doesn't know if it's in the contract or not. So you don't know anymore than she does whether this is out of the cont.

Angry? Are you projecting?

So you are not angry but you are self righteous? Good to know

I'm not sure why you'd even ask.

Your DH is frankly a sanctimonious arsehole. “She should live with the consequences of being self-employed?” This a woman who cares for your children. Of course you should pay her.

That’s a bit harsh. If you are self employed, you need to factor in that some of your wages needs to be kept aside for unexpected time off - e.g sickness. if the service you offer is not available then the user of your service may have to pay for alternative childcare or take unpaid leave so to say they have to take the hit or you’ll cancel the contract is totally unfair unless it was part of the contract upfront to allow for x days of sick leave etc so the client can budget for that/take the hit.

Having said that, OP, if you were able to manage without paying for alternative childcare and given it’s a bereavement and she has only taken off two days to try and minimise the impact then I think it would send a message of understanding and that you value her to not deduct her pay given the circumstances plus she’s more likely to be understanding/flexible with you if you need it in future so in your case I would still pay her.

Childminder isn’t necessarily taking only 2 days - OP said she was off 2 of the days her child was there - she could have had other days too and lost other parents’ fees too.