Childminder pay after bereavement

[familylifeishard]

Hi all, first time poster here so would appreciate your thoughts. Our childminders mum died last week so she didn’t work 2 of the 3 days my son goes there. No problem as I kept him at home whilst working. My question is, would you still pay her for those 2 days or let it go due to the bereavement. I feel awkward deducting the fees but DH says that the consequences of being self employed. She told me to take it off the monthly fee but I’d already paid it so don’t know what to do next month?! Thanks for reading and any thoughts you have!

2-3 days the decent thing is to pay and never mention it again. If it was a longer period then I would consider otherwise.

I would do this too.

I would pay her. A little kindness goes a long way, and you're trusting her to look after your child. Having a good relationship is vital and worth gold

I can't believe this is even a topic for discussion! Of course I would pay.

Well done OP! sounds like you have a good relationship with her so don’t let DH spoil that.

It was decent of her to suggest deducting the days but very kind of you then to let it go. You handled it correctly imo

poor woman, only taking 2 days off

I would pay her. A bit of kindness goes a long way and she will really appreciate it and no doubt repay in other ways if she is able to.

So this lady who has cared for all 3 of your children, lost her mother, needed a couple of days off, and your 'd'h thinks she shouldn't be paid..

He is revolting. I truly would have major ick over something like this.

A good childminder is worth a hell of a lot more than a couple of days of paid leave.

What an uncaring, short sighted prick!

I would pay her. This would give a lot of goodwill.

I’d pay her it feels really mean not to

Of course you must pay her.

Does your contract not cover this?

As much as I agree with everybody else that paying her is morally right, it is still a goodwill gesture!
She is not OP’s nanny she is a self employed woman. Typically, self employed means you bill more for a day’s work than you would earn as an employee. And this difference is exactly to make up for the fact that you will only be paid when you are able to work. You can even insure yourself to receive money when unable to work in specific circumstances. It is 100% the self employed person’s decision how safe they want to be. Most people, out of greed, will choose not to take such insurance (not judging, I did so myself, as do most people).

Not sure why you want to twist this as a poor innocent worker being badly treated by their mean employer.

Ditto

I’m so sorry. You seem to have married a cunt.

its only ever going to happen once.
probably lst thing on her mind. id py/not deduct.

That's not what the OP said though - her husband is another matter.

I think the childminder has been professional in offering to deduct the fee. You've been humane and decent in offering to pay anyway.

At this point, I would be considering the relationship with the DH. Must be awful married to a man whose first thought is money.....

Slightly different but we paid our dog walker when his dad suddenly passed. He has walked our dog for 5 years now and that was first time he had any unexpected absence so we paid.

Good will and showing we care

If I could afford to lose the money I would let her have it, if not I wouldn't 🤷‍♀️

It’s really kind of you to pay her OP but absolutely unnecessary and perfectly reasonable of your husband to not want to pay for services not received. I am self employed and haven’t been paid for holiday pay, sick pay, looking after my own child when they are sick, managing the palliative care and passing of both my MIL and FIL in the last 2 years, or time off for 6 lost pregnancies, nor did I expect to be!! These are the choices we make when we choose a particular career path. There are lots of pros to being self employed and as a professional I expect to take the rough with the smooth!

I would personally pay her. It’s not something that’s likely to happen often. Yes it’s a downside of being self employed but I paid my dog Walker for the first month of covid before she sorted out family help. Because I am fortunate enough to get sick pay, a few days paid special leave for loss of a parent, and I was fortunate to keep working throughout covid so no change to my pay. I know my dog Walker really appreciated, despite the fact I had zero obligation to do that. It’s just being kind, so I think your initial thought is the correct one and your DH needs to find some compassion inside him so that your poor childminder doesn’t need to think about less income on top of what’s probably the worse week of her life

You shouldn't really have to ask, you're as bad as your mean, heartless husband, just pay her and a bunch of flowers wouldn't go amiss................

This depends entirely on two things:

The nature of the contract

The nature of the relationship

Hopefully the contracts you issue ensure that the costs of your sick pay etc are factored into the rate you charge.

This is very unlikely to be the case for a childminder.

@familylifeishard You sound a very generous person.
If you can afford it , all is well.

If you were say a single parent who would have to pay for childcare elsewhere, I'd say not paying is understandable, too.

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