Childminder pay after bereavement

[familylifeishard]

Hi all, first time poster here so would appreciate your thoughts. Our childminders mum died last week so she didn’t work 2 of the 3 days my son goes there. No problem as I kept him at home whilst working. My question is, would you still pay her for those 2 days or let it go due to the bereavement. I feel awkward deducting the fees but DH says that the consequences of being self employed. She told me to take it off the monthly fee but I’d already paid it so don’t know what to do next month?! Thanks for reading and any thoughts you have!

Yes pay her

To not pay her would be such a disgraceful move IMO. I wouldn’t even consider not paying her, and if you did, I’d leave if I was her. Unbelievably harsh.

I don't see anything wrong in taking it from the next payment exactly as she told you.

Self employment means that the rate they charge is set to already cover their time off. It is one of the reasons there is a difference between self employed rate and hourly vage of employees doing the same thing.

Nothing is stopping you from wanting to give her something extra, but it is your decision and both options are ok.

I don't understand why people who give someone at business context small extra money consider themselves moral or good doing so. In my eyes it is rather undignified, treating another adult as a servant who should be greatful for their breadcrumbs.

I would pay.

Pay her, poor woman.

Respectfully I disagree. A contract is a contract and a childminder should 100% build cover for holidays/illness/emergencies into theirs. After all they don’t work 52 weeks a year.

Really? I thought childminders saw it as a business transaction too. Ultimately they need to earn money to eat. It's business.

I would pay, and have paid in similar circumstances.

A little bit of generosity and empathy goes a long way. I aim to be the best person I can be (tbh often failing miserably), and I would pay.

When my cleaner’s husband died suddenly I transferred her £250 (about 6 sessions’ pay) and told her to only come back when she felt ready. She came back after 4 weeks and I started paying her as normal. She later said that was a real lifeline.

Just pay it. Be kind

I think your DH is getting a very unfair roasting on here. Yes, personally I would definitely pay her in these circumstances, particularly when she's otherwise very reliable and you haven't had to pay for back up childcare so won't be out of pocket BUT it's not required under the contract and there is no 'moral' obligation to do so in my opinion. That's the deal with being self employed (and I don't know many employees who get more than a few days paid bereavement leave either - it's not a legal requirement to offer paid leave for this in the UK) so I find it harsh that so many people are calling the DH a horrible person for suggesting not to pay her.

Sounds like you still worked and got paid so I'd just pay. If you'd had to take unpaid time off I might have a different view.

But it is a business transaction

if you can spare it and it didn’t incur any cost for you then you could pay her out of goodwill BUT you don’t have any obligation too.

I would take it off the next month’s invoice. You have a contract with her, not an agreement to support her through life’s difficulties. She didn’t (and shouldn’t) check in with you in advance to agree what would be reasonable because she’s self employed and one of the benefits of that is that she’s her own boss. The downside is that she’s responsible, one way or another, for filling in any gaps.

Lovely DH!!

Oh my gosh of course just pay her. The fact you have to ask is depressing.

What a nice person you are...

When I had a childminder (I was at Uni as a mature student) we came to an arrangement that a retainer would be paid (ie 50% for vacation time or my son would go in for 2-3 day a week). As she is the one unable to work ask her if she want a retainer fee. However my cleaner says no work, no pay (or even no pay,no work if you are a bad payer)

Your “darling” husband is a tight ass.

if You value this childminder just leave the pay as it is.

Yes, I think in a relationship like this where goodwill goes a long way, I would give and take.

On this occasion, I'd pay her.

She's looking after your most precious thing in the world and I would want to keep her on side because of this. I imagine that goodwill would go a long way and she'll remember that you stepped up in her hour of need.

Op if you can afford it then yes I'd still pay her, but if you can't

She must be able to afford it because if the childminder had been available as normal she would have paid her. And she said she worked with her child at home.

You made the right choice op. Your good relationship with her is worth more than the money. If you had been out of pocket fair enough deduct it but you were not. Technically you probably wouldn't have to pay as per a normal CM contract. But currently there is more need for childcare than there are providers

He's a dick and you know it.

Dont be ridiculous, this is the exact opposite to treating someone like they should be grateful. The OP is the one who is grateful and is showing that by paying her for the time she was off, through no fault of her own.

And, as I and many others have pointed out, goodwill is worth a lot. She will remember this and if she has a choice between putting herself out for the OP and another client who didnt pay, well who do you think she will choose?