Saying please don’t drop daughter caused resulted in silent treated

[Gorton]

We climbed the arc de triomphe with my 1 yo. I very light heartedly told my dh (child’s father) “please be careful, don’t drop my child” as we were walking down. In response dh said “OUR child will be fine” or something similar.

Dh basically ignored me for the rest of the day.

Who was in the wrong?

Title should be “saying please don’t drop my daughter resulted in silent treatment”

You were wrong in your comment.
He was wrong to sulk.
Did you apologise?

You were both unreasonable

Yeah this.

A shame to lose a day of holiday to something quite petty on the face of it.

It's a bit like when my child was a toddler and we were walking along the pavement and some random person said to me 'careful don't let her go in the road' 😂😂

I can see how it might have got his back up coming from his wife

You were in the wrong for sure. Whether your partner was wrong to sulk depends on whether you have form for undermining him like that on a regular basis.

Yeah I can kind of see his point to be honest. A) you said my child, not our child and B) I’m sure he wasn’t planning on dropping your child!

Did you actually say "my daughter" to your husband, father of your daughter? 😮

I mean it depends on tone and the situation. Was he dangling her over somewhere or holding her securely on his hip? What prompted the comment? What was your tone - jovial, snarky? Also is MY child something you frequently do to prioritise your relationship with her over his?

So generally I'd say he's been overly touchy but, background....

Sounds like both are unreasonable unless you forgot some important info like he was on crutches. Did you think that he was going to drop her? Has he dropped her before ?

Massive over reaction he clearly has underlying issues and this triggered them.

Both wrong both right.

Disapprove of sulking but that was a horrible condescending thing to say. Do you consider yourself the superior parent?

It comes across as if you were patronising him in two ways. One that you thought he was going to drop her and two that you think of her as your child and not his

I think it was one of those careless comments but can see why he was upset.

You both need to communicate better

What did you think he would say "Awww shit, I was just going to drop her actually, but you talked me round", calling her "my child" is also quite an arsehole move.

Did you apologise when you realise he was pissed off? I would have probably been quite quiet for the day too without an apology.

If he sulks regularly then that's a different issue, but if this is a one off then I think it's on you tbh.

Saying "my" daughter to her father is a really odd thing to say, sounds so passive aggressive.

If it was a one off and lighthearted then he’s the twat. If it was the latest in a long list of micromanaging then you are.

He felt the need to punish you for the whole day just because you felt anxious about the baby?!
I don't like the sound of him at all 😐

I don’t see a problem with reminding him to be safe but calling her “your” child is very telling. Imagine of your DH referred to your kid in that way as “his”

It’s allowed to say my child. It’s not that deep.

Unless he’s prone to dropping things or being generally clumsy why on earth would he need a reminder to be careful.

I would have been irritated too not sure I would have sulked all day though so I’m wondering if a) he is prone to sulking or b) you are prone to treating him like an idiot?

I can't bear people who sulk and give the silent treatment, so I'm more on your side than DH's. That was an annoying comment though! It may have seemed light hearted to you but I can see how he found it irritating. Have you kissed and made up now?

Both unreasonable but I can see his is in response to you. Why did you feel the need, even lightheartedly, to say about dropping the child? Secondly, why did you call her your daughter? Both very odd things to say...

I can see how he might have felt quite embarrassed by the phrasing ('my') of your request seeing as you were in public.

I think this is probably a symptom of a wider problem. To you it was a light hearted comment, to him was it one of many digs? Do you have form for treating him like an inferior parent? Being possessive over dd? Treating him like he doesn't care as much about your dd as you do?

It sounds like a straw that broke the camels back situation and you need to talk to each other to get to the root of it.