Saying please don’t drop daughter caused resulted in silent treated

[Gorton]

We climbed the arc de triomphe with my 1 yo. I very light heartedly told my dh (child’s father) “please be careful, don’t drop my child” as we were walking down. In response dh said “OUR child will be fine” or something similar.

Dh basically ignored me for the rest of the day.

Who was in the wrong?

Surely there's more to this story because saying that isn't a big deal at all. Is he neurodivergent?

Honestly, if you said it lightheartedly and there is no underlying distrust of him I really don't see the issue. If you don't let him be an equal parent or constantly dictate or correct his behaviour with DD then I can see why he may have had a problem with it.
It's the kind of thing DH and I say to each other all the time. Sometimes we pick each other up on it, sometimes we don't. It's never said in malice or meant to hurt or demean. But we both have complete trust and confidence in each other when it comes to our children.
Because DH worked shifts he spent a lot of time with our children growing up and so wasn't restricted to bed time and weekends. That meant we parented together and that absolute confidence in the practical side of parenting was always there. Even now that the children are adults, we are mostly interchangeable as far as they are concerned (unless it is juicy gossip - I always get that first)
Sometimes people just look for something to take offence at.

I think based on what the op has said, and her repeated use of MY daughter, there is likely to be a backstory. Probably that he’s fed up of her acting like the child is HERS (rather than theirs) and calling all the shots in the parenting, always telling him how to do things with their child. It’s not so likely he’d get sulky based on that one comment, much more likely if it’s the latest in a long line of comments that make him feel like a parent who’s not good enough.

I've said 'my' accidentally before when with DH. He just laughs and says 'our'. No need to make it into anything bigger.

That's quite a lot of assumptions.

It’s one assumption- that he’s fed up of feeling like a secondary/not-good-enough parent.

It’s based on two things - a) repeated use of ‘my’ daughter b) it’s unlikely that he’d give her the silent treatment over just one comment, more likely it was the one that tipped him over the edge.

Of course that’s just my guess of what might be the case - I didn’t put it forward as fact.
Thought all of the above was clear in my post.

This isn't about "allowing" something @Buffypaws!

It is not reasonable at all to say my child to the other parent.

It absolutely is "deep" to say 'my', if it is a common occurrence from one parent to another. If it was a genuine slip up, then the OP should have apologised as soon as she realised what she had said, and how it had been taken, by saying something along the lines of:

"oh I'm so sorry - partners name, or loving nickname - I am so used to messaging friends about our gorgeous child, that my mind just wasn't concentrating on who I was talking too! Of course she is our child, and she couldn't have a better daddy, and I am loving the three of us being able to spend quality time together like this!"

However, please only say that as long as it is what you actually believe. Please don't put on what I call an "affected" way of talking in order to make someone feel better, as I think that anyone would need to be an Oscar worthy actress to pull that off, and it will therefore probably just sound patronising and dishonest!

That would be laughed off here!

Ignoring you for the rest of the day is not ok.. he shoud have expressed his offence at your comment andcgiven you a chance to say sorry, after which he could get over it.. especially as it was light hearted from you

Does he ignore you often?

Did you really have a child with a man you thought would do anything other than keep that child safe?

I doubt it.

He's as capable of being a parent as you are.

He's doing the heavy lighting here..literally and you are expressing doubt about his abilities and you add to that with MY child.

It would drive me insane if you undermined and criticised me like that.

Doesn’t mean a grown man should sulk like a baby all day.

Giving silent treatment is OTT but my DH would have been annoyed with a comment like that too. DD is his child too and surely he is capable of keeping her safe as you are. How would you feel if he said similar to you?

What a load of balls

Thank you for that extra input. It is very enlightening.