To think DH should pay for DSC school fees

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Just wanted to get your thoughts on this: would you expect your husband to pay school fees for your children / his step children?

If yes, would you expect his to continue to pay school fees if you separated?

My response would be yes to both.

Youre a family, and therefore everything should be shared equally. If you did separate, you should continue to pay the fees the same way you would for your biological children.

Edit: the same would apply if the genders were reversed.

As much as you don't think there should be a distinction there is!

Not biological child = no obligation to pay for school fees!

If yes, would you expect his to continue to pay school fees if you separated?

This would be even weirder!

Absolutely not. Not their responsibility at all.

My inclination is also to say no but interestingly, when my ex and I divorced my daughter was 14. When I remarried 6 years later and she was at university, my husband's income was taken into account with regard to her student loan. My ex - her father - was not required to contribute financially in any way whatsoever!

Tricky but thats your opinion.
Factually and legally they have no right to access or any say about their health, education etc etc. The payoff for this lack of parental responsibility is that there is no obligations.
Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too

Yes but you would say that as you are not paying for your step children(or your own child at present) 🙄

I don't thing there should be a distinction between parent and step parent

The step parent doesn't have PR which is a very important distinction. This means post separation the the step parent has no legal rights to see the child, attend school meetings, hear medical information etc so I doubt they should continue paying for school fees.

Don't worry most partners wouldn't want to proclaim themselves their step children's mother

No, absolutely not. I've never paid towards my step children and my husband would never expect it.

The actual parents pay.

You're a CF

You want someone to pay their ex-step children’s school fees? 😂 LOL.

No
Where is the other parent in all of this?

Yes this is true they still do this and its awful. I'm not paying a penny towards my dsc's uni fees yet the people who do the figures will assume I will

Of course not, is this a reverse?

Well quite!

Of course not. Why should your ex be paying for the kids of another man?

Whilst still living as a family I agree that all children should be treated as equal but once separated / divorced they have no responsibility for step children .

Tell that to the actual father of the children. They are his responsibility.

I don't think you can generalise these things, each case depends on the individual circumstances

Eg two kids close in age, both living in the step family full time, the step children are living like full siblings and I think it would be unfair to pay for one child and not the other

However if one parent was paying for step child long before step siblings came on the scene and only ever budgeted for this, and his new wife expects him to start paying for her children, when their own dad is still involved, then no I don't think it should be expected

No and No. The bio dad needs to step up here.

No to both.

I wouldn't expect an actual parent to pay school fees. It is an exceptional spending decision that you have to commit to paying, after much discussion and consideration.

I'm relatively certain this must be a reverse because no one could be this sure they’re in the right with this scenario and opinion.

For the record, YABU. My husband hasn’t and won’t be adopting my children but he does treat them as his own, he’s brilliant. Even so, if we ever split up I wouldn’t expect or really want him to have a financial obligation to them. I wouldn’t expect him to spend school fees kind of money on them now either. A huge commitment for anyone to have.

Maybe if a blended family - all children should be treated the same but not once separated

Did I say this was about me?

Its purely a hypothetical