To think DH should pay for DSC school fees

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Just wanted to get your thoughts on this: would you expect your husband to pay school fees for your children / his step children?

If yes, would you expect his to continue to pay school fees if you separated?

My response would be yes to both.

Youre a family, and therefore everything should be shared equally. If you did separate, you should continue to pay the fees the same way you would for your biological children.

Edit: the same would apply if the genders were reversed.

A man will pay for step kids only if he really likes their mother and wants to never lose her. Apparently he is happy to see her go. I am sure he will pay for his kids only

It's an interesting hypothetical.

If I had been with someone whose children had lived with me 50% and whom, as a family, we had put through private school from age 5-15. And then we split at age 15 and they had a year left, I would like to think hypothetically I'd have the relationship with that child to pay 25% of their final year fees i.e. 50% of the 50% we had paid as a family if it meant they would otherwise have to leave.

It doesn't, because in reality the ex has a different approach to Xmas to us and will regularly spend upwards of £1k each on just presents for one child. In fact SD used to end up with so many presents that a lot of them never get opened and sit in the box until she's outgrown them.

SD is very young for her age though and her Mum won't buy anything that she doesn't consider age appropriate, so SD puts the more grown up stuff on the list for her Mum and also gets a load of stuff she didn't ask for and doesn't use, and then the more childish stuff on our list and we buy it her.

So it works out they both get everything they want and I don't think DD misses having piles of boxes to unwrap and then discard.

No to both. Parents are responsible for their own children & the costs relating to their education. If you're living together as a family then maybe the school fees come out the joint household pot but if you separate definitely not.

Surely how long you'd been together, and whether he'd been part of the decision would be a biggest factors?

If you'd gotten together when the kid was 2, had combined finances when they were still a young child, had chosen together that a private secondary school would be best, if he'd raised them as his own, and they called him dad, then split up when they were 14, yeah, I'd expect the commitment to continue.
Similarly if you'd gotten together and each had young children, and his were at private school, and you'd chosen together for yours to go there too, then that would probably also sway me to say yes.

If they'd already been at the school before you got together, you'd not been together long, the child and stepdad didn't have a relationship, or you'd chosen to send them and agreed you'd fund it, then no, I wouldn't expect him to fund it after a split.

No fees should be split between parents not step parents.