It wasn't my intention to be scathing.
But your post comes across like you think you're suggesting something new, that no one else has ever thought about before. That we could all sit down together in a kind and civilised manner and talk about the issues sensibly and come up with a solution that ensures everyone is respected and everyone's needs are met.
This is what gender critical feminists have been doing for years now. You're talking to people who were saying the same things you're now saying, five, ten, fifteen years ago. And we were told, "No, trans women are women. They belong in women's spaces. There is no debate about this. Trans people should not have to debate their own existence."
The annoying irony is that people who are saying, "Yes, single sex spaces are important but what about harmless trans people who have had all the surgery and genuinely do live as women, we need to ensure their needs are met too" are coming along at a time when the tide has already started to turn. The only reason women like you are able to say these things without immediately being cancelled, apparently in the expectation that other people will say, "Yes, that's a good idea, glad to see someone advocating for a sensible compromise at long last" is because people like me and other posters on this thread (and in the public eye, people like JK Rowling and Julie Bindel and Helen Joyce and Maya Forstater and Hannah Barnes and Allison Bailey and Sall Grover and James Esses and Graham Linehan and the LGB Alliance and yes, even Posie Parker, as much as some people dislike her) have already started to turn this tanker around without your help.
We have borne the brunt of all the misogynistic abuse that, until now, has been the inevitable consequence of saying that trans women shouldn't be using women's single sex spaces. We've been called bigots and TERFs. We've lost friends over it. We've been kicked out of online communities for it. We've had dismissive responses from our MPs because of it. Some of us have even been sacked or reported to the police for it. And because we didn't give in, because we kept chipping away at it, because we didn't wheesht, because we carried on politely saying, "actually, women's rights are human rights too and we aren't put on earth to support and validate trans people", the tide is starting to turn. If you point out that the emperor is stark bollock naked enough times, eventually more and more people will find the courage to join you.
And what I think will happen now is that women will manage to recover some of their sex based rights, which may involve the provision of some third spaces for trans people, and we'll eventually find ourselves in a situation most people will be able to live with, and people like Wes Streeting who up until five minutes ago were insisting that trans women are women and are now saying, "we need to find a sensible middle ground" will take all the credit for it and say what a pity those mean TERFs made it all so toxic, it really didn't need to be this difficult.
Back to your trans friends, as you point out, you know them, other women don't. Just because you might feel comfortable getting changed in their presence because you trust them, you can't expect other women to feel the same way. It's not a reflection on them. But single sex spaces exist for a reason, and if you make a few people the exception to the rule, there is no longer a rule. There is simply no way to make and enforce a rule that would allow your friends to use women's spaces but keep Isla Bryson and Karen White out of them.