Having I fucked up the sex talk?

[TheSmartestGiantInTown1]

Today my 6 year old asked me how a man's seed gets into a woman's tummy (I have told him previously that babies are made from an egg and seed). His 4 year sister was listening at the time. My Mum was a HCP so very frank and no nonsense about anything body related, so I was always of the opinion it was best to answer questions honestly but without lots of unnecessary detail. I therefore explained that a man puts his penis inside a woman's vagina, the seed goes into a woman's womb, and meets the egg there. My daughter asked where the babies came out, I said the vagina. They looked mildly surprised and the conversation moved on.

I'd never discussed this with DH and he is horrified- I now see that we should have discussed our approach to this inevitable question long ago. He says I've stolen their innocence, and they'll never see the world the same way again. Honestly they didn't seem that bothered- there was a lot more questions when I had to explain a family member died. However now I feel horrible. Have I totally fucked this up? DH said I should have said that people have a special cuddle.

What…? No, the Bible says that the angel Gabriel tells Mary that she’s going to be the mother of God’s son. Mary asks how this is possible, because she’s a virgin; Gabriel says the power of the Holy Spirit will come over her. Mary says that she’s God’s servant and agrees with God’s will.

Which is why she’s the Virgin Mary and Jesus is the Son of God. Your version sounds like somebody’s explicit Bible fanfic from Archive Of Our Own. 😂

I hope you are just messing. It is so easy to have distorted ideas about sex and sexuality. I regularly encounter adults who do not understand how their bodies work and it is impacting their sexual functioning, their relationships, their self-esteem. It can ruin lives.

It is hard to grasp lots of things, but I suppose if you don't see that then it might be better you didn't teach them. I hope for their sake that school has done a good job. Sadly, in my experience, it is very common that they do not.

I never thought about that. I did go off on one to my eldest about the origin of the word vagina (sword sheath ffs!) and the perniciousness of the virginity myth (she's 12 and it's becoming relevant to her social group) but I hadn't thought of how I described the mechanics. I'll use that, thanks.

Year 5 sex education is much more detailed than what the OP told her child. For starters it includes puberty (periods, wet dreams etc) and then there’s more details than like masturbation and ejaculation. Schools wait until year 5 because even the most conservative parents should have had the chat by then and just in case they never plan to say anything , children should be forewarned about subjects like periods. Finding out information in the playground could lead to massive problems.

This is one of those topics where it’s better to chat when they are young because younger kids accept it very matter of factly.

Yes and aural sex is hearing about it.

I believe in total frankness. Not just about sex but the Santa Claus myth.

Why?

Killjoy.

Agree with VikingLady that @Chipsintheair worded the act well, emphasising the consensual nature of sex rather than the man doing it to a woman.

Absolutely nothing wrong at all! These type of chats need to be normalised early. However do not be surprised if they forget... DS was a very advanced reader and hit certain 'terms' earlier than normal, so we had to explain what they meant, and often his reply would be 'what is sex again??'. We just explained again!

to add - both children (DS and DD) had the "what will happen when I grow up" books from about 6. They were fascinated and would swap the books and discuss. It is just biology!

Your OH is very prim. At 4 years old our little girl was eager to see my "tail"; she doesn't seem to have suffered or been in any way affected by this experience. She also developed a habit of waggling her bare bum at me at bedtime. Now she has given it up at 7.

My rule of thumb on these things is to be child led whilst not overburdening with too much information. So providing age appropriate facts.

I think you handled this well. They ask until they satisfy themselves at their own logical level of understanding because if you tell them "stories" it can make the world seem pretty confusing and leave them drawing up some pretty odd conclusions about how the world works.

I did the same with Father Christmas. Let them believe as long as they accepted the story and got joy out of it. Answered their very specific logical questions honestly when they started to show confusion and struggle to accept the possibility with "what do you think about it?" And when they shared their sensible logic "You are really clever you have worked it out. But it's not your job to share this with others in your class that's a job for their parents not you."

😂👌🏽

How did you create the baby?!?

I could've written this! DD, now 6, asked this very question a few months ago. I posted on here and was recommended 'Mummy Grew An Egg' so I bought that and read it to her. DH really unhappy that our 5 yr old knew what sex was. Cue lots of debates. Both our mothers agreed with me. DD occasionally wants to read the book again but also wasn't particularly bothered!

Did you blindfold him when you were making said baby??

You don't have to lie but you don't always have to answer either. I think I would just say "I'll explain when you're older" at that age. I would explain more when they're around 9 or 10.

They are fine. Age appropriate and clear. They won't think much about it but it is the kernel upon which they will build future knowledge.

😂80s? I had explicit picture books for this, including illustration of couple having intercourse (missionary position) for my children in the 80s. Possibly DH needs to move out of the 50s?

Time to tell DH he wasn't left by the Stork.

The immaculate conception isn’t the same as the virgin birth btw.

Your husband needs to think this through. If you told them 'people have a special cuddle'.
I can see your DS and DD refusing to cuddle any of their relatives again and when asked why, saying 'Because that's how babies are made!!!'

Mary becoming pregnant as a virgin is the birth, not the immaculate conception. Mary herself being conceived without original sin is the immaculate conception.

Not saying I believe it but that’s how it goes.

Because it’s creepy sounding and he’s a creep?

My 6 y/o asked hoe babies get out of the mums tummy

I said out of the vagina

Disgusting! Was the response and that was the end of that conversation

😂