To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

[ohmydays37]

I donated two huge bags of clothes to local charity shop. Before I could even ask a question the woman who worked there demand my postcode for gift aid. I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. She then said, I was extremely rude and it was for gift aid and she was running a business. In no way was I being rude (which I told her).

I guess my AIBU to think you can't just ambush people for gift aid without knowing if 1) they pay tax and 2) you need to explain the details of it. Which she didn't.

If he's the one that pays tax, they she has no right dealing with Gift Aid on his behalf. If my husband made decisions about GA for me I'd be furious. I don't do Gift Aid.

Because she doesn't pay tax and she couldn't have gift aided anyway. So what's the point?

They're not all technically volunteers, near us some of them are staffed by offenders who are doing community service as part of their sentence.

Yanbu. She was rude. I'm self employed and my tax is complicated enough without doing gift aid as well. I refuse to do gift aid. I find it rude to be asked. Even if I didn't have to do my tax return is still refuse to do gift aid as you giving the government too much information. Just my opinion before anyone jumps on me. My mum s friend has to pay as she hadn't paid enough tax during the year to cover her donations.

This.

I think some people thing it's somehow 'free'money.

No it isn't. It's like asking would you like the tax you paid on your fries to be rediverted to us (and by the way you can only do this if you pay tax). People need to stop thinking of Gift Aid as free money.

Our local hospice closed all their retail shops during lockdown and opened up a shop on the side of a warehouse on a trading estate.

It means that customers and people who donate can park right outside. The staff are lovely and helpful and are always delighted to receive donations.

The charity I volunteer with has raised thousands of pounds for the hospice, and when they came to give a talk at one of our meetings I was amazed at just how much money they raise from selling goods at their retail hub. They accept clothes, household items, furniture and electrical goods, which they have PAT tested before they go on sale.

Donating to them is stress free and easy.

Yes she shouldn't have been rude of course but wouldn't it have been simpler to just say I'm not a tax payer when she asked about gift aid?

It's not just giving out a postcode though is it?

It's OP saying it's ok for the charity shop to claim tax back on goods donated on her husbands behalf, which he hasn't given permission for. OP doesn't pay tax so couldn't tick the declaration for herself.

They are run as businesses. The managers are retail managers and have targets to hit like any other business. They are income for the charity and professionally run.

That individual was rude and unprofessional though

Interesting points re gift aid, thank you for the information.
The woman in the shop was very rude.
She needs to learn that:

1. not everyone is eligible for gift aid
2. not everyone wants to sign up to it
3. she is not complying to GDPR guidelines.
4. her attitude might be damaging the charity.

Yabu for contributing to the ridiculous mumsnet handwringing over ‘rudeness’

Being rude isn’t a crime, sometimes it’s justified. Just move on.

Me neither! It smacks of Stepford Wives.

Or just maybe the OP was rude too? After all, we only have one side of the story here.

Or just maybe the OP was rude too?

Why is being mildly rude such an issue?

I ALWAYS use ‘my husband deals with that’ if I can’t be bothered engaging with someone - do you want a deal on your broadband? Husband. do you want to change your energy supplier? Husband. Can I have a moment of your time to tell you about canine war veterans? Husband.

My husband similarly says he can’t do things because ‘his wife deals with it’. Doesn’t everyone? It’s not a 1950s/sexist thing, I thought it was like the universally acknowledged socially acceptable way to say ‘I can’t be arsed’. 🫣

DH does it all in my name, not sure why it's an issue, as long as he is paying tax in the UK.

Had SEN not were SEN-its not their whole identity

You can't get gift aid on clothing donations, it's for money.
However your response was odd, if you'd just said I'm not eligible for gift aid it might've been different.

Don’t go there again a don’t donate. People are kindly giving their items and she is being a rude nasty woman

I just say “no thanks” to all of these questions in shops.