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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

283 replies

ohmydays37 · 22/09/2024 23:07

I donated two huge bags of clothes to local charity shop. Before I could even ask a question the woman who worked there demand my postcode for gift aid. I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. She then said, I was extremely rude and it was for gift aid and she was running a business. In no way was I being rude (which I told her).

I guess my AIBU to think you can't just ambush people for gift aid without knowing if 1) they pay tax and 2) you need to explain the details of it. Which she didn't.

OP posts:
TrustyRusty68 · 26/09/2024 09:35

It’s not though - if you don’t pay tax and they mark you down as giving gift aid, you get charged the tax when you do your tax return. It’s not ‘free’ for everyone.

FckTheSchGateHuns · 26/09/2024 10:06

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 22/09/2024 23:12

Of course she should have expressed herself politely. Feels a little concerning that you'd need 'permission' to give your husband's name and postcode to a charity shop, that really doesn't feel like the kind of decision that a spouse should need to ask about, given that the negative consequences could be precisely zero.. (possible chance of junk mail maybe..? But you could check that with the lady. Why are you not trusted to make a fairly simple adult decision..?)

Gift Aid is a Tax Declaration, you shouldn't be giving it on behalf of anyone else.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 26/09/2024 10:10

angstypant · 26/09/2024 08:10

Because it's not HER tax details. How can you not understand this?

Show quote history

'How can you not understand this' 😂 come on now, no need for the hyperbole. If he pays tax (which his wife of course in reality knows) then he is eligible for gift aid. It's really not rocket science and it's a normal everyday interaction. Practical life doesn't always involve being absolutely black and white.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 26/09/2024 10:38

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 26/09/2024 10:10

'How can you not understand this' 😂 come on now, no need for the hyperbole. If he pays tax (which his wife of course in reality knows) then he is eligible for gift aid. It's really not rocket science and it's a normal everyday interaction. Practical life doesn't always involve being absolutely black and white.

Show quote history

DH was self employed and I have no idea how much tax he paid, other than knowing it was very little if any some years. I wouldn't have gift aided anything on his behalf as I wouldn't know whether it would be covered by his tax.

Original poster
ohmydays37 · 26/09/2024 15:19

Again, DH had not signed up to gift aid the shop I went in so I clearly couldn't do gift aid on his behalf. Hence, the reason I said my husband deals with it.

The woman didn't give me chance to explain anything as she literally asked for my postcode and she was running a business.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/09/2024 15:21

Last time I donated I didn't do gift aid as it's such a long process of forms etc and no one was rude to me

Needmorelego · 26/09/2024 15:28

@ohmydays37 it seems a strange conversation.
For me it would have gone -
Her : "Postcode"
Me : "What for?"
Her : "Gift Aid"
Me : "Oh I'm not a tax payer".
The End.
Anyway.....just forget about it now. It's done.
Either go to a different charity shop next time or just say "I'm not a tax payer".
🙂

lilkitten · 26/09/2024 16:13

I just tell them that I'm not a taxpayer (true) and they just leave it

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