To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

[ohmydays37]

I donated two huge bags of clothes to local charity shop. Before I could even ask a question the woman who worked there demand my postcode for gift aid. I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. She then said, I was extremely rude and it was for gift aid and she was running a business. In no way was I being rude (which I told her).

I guess my AIBU to think you can't just ambush people for gift aid without knowing if 1) they pay tax and 2) you need to explain the details of it. Which she didn't.

I often find that people who accuse others of being rude often talk too much and don’t listen nearly enough.

I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. how did you say this? In a "you're going to steal our details" kind of way. In all honesty you're best off just saying you aren't a taxpayer and leaving it at that.

Rude.

I’m a volunteer in a charity shop. Why is it stressful?

I’m not often on the shop floor, but when I am, I always thank donors, unless they want to leave electrical goods, or larger items that we can’t display. Then I politely point them towards the several charity shops two minutes away who do sell those items. My colleagues, volunteers and staff, do the same. It’s hard sometimes to say ‘thank you’ when it’s obvious that we’re being used as a dustbin. Last week a donor brought in loads of stuff. Old, greasy burnt pans and plastic kitchen items, ancient, dirty artificial flowers, and a bag with old shoe cleaning brushes and half empty and dried up tins of polish. Not one item was saleable.

@ohmydays37 I agree the volunteer/staff member was rude. I’d just ask if you were a gift aider, or would like to be. Most people who already are tend to say so when they donate.

I had this a while ago, donated a big bag of my children’s clothes (all very nice good quality stuff) and they asked for gift aid, my response ‘oh no I don’t work so I can’t unfortunately’ they pretty much just rolled their eyes with a huff and then completely ignored me!!! Needless to say we have not been back to donate more! I was tempted to pick my bag bag up and take it elsewhere tbh

Despite being a tax payer, on many occasions I say I don’t do gift aid. I did gift aid once at Oxfam and then received unwanted emails. At entrances to sites ( eg Kew Gardens, museums) there is often a large queue building up while people are being asked to give gift aid details.

Re gift aid - the FT a while back pointed out that the effect is to take the money away from public use (via taxes) and give it to the charity. This might be justifiable with a small local one but not imho for the big ones with fat cats at the top. So I never do it.

Does your husband own his own business?

It's a fair point though that someone made above that they ask your postcode first and then your address, the same with emailed receipts.

I am getting sick of handing out my email address/postcode etc to so many organisations. I wouldn't mind but I get loads of junk email now & some physical stuff that goes straight into recycling. Plus some companies have clearly sold on my mobile number too because I get called from random call centres I never signed up to.

In this situation I would have just said I don't pay tax which I don't at the moment and left my husband out of it.

Good point

How is that relevant?

She was rude and you were weird.

The woman sounds rude.

As pointed out by a couple of other posters, Gift Aid diverts tax away from the public purse so I no longer do it. Especially if it's a larger charity.

This!

Just another day in the life of a mumsnetter!

”My husband deals with that”????

I’m a volunteer in a charity shop. Why is it stressful?

There are loads of charity shops in my town. There are are a few I refuse to go in. I’ve donated really decent items but have always been met with huge sigh and “ what’s in there, we have lots of donations so, what is it you are donating?” One, I just replied, “ oh, you don’t want it then, and just walked out”. You’d think I’d handed them a bag of poo.

After this happened a couple of times I started selling things on Vinted, put clothes in a bag and used in the the large dept. Store recycling offer (£5 off for 5 items) and anything left I donate to the one shop that says “thanks”, when I drop it in.

It’s a shame, but often it’s the staff who put you off.

She was rude, however, you should know enough about your affairs to have been able to deal with a simple and expected request in these situations without the permission of your husband.

Because he’d need to know the amount of gift-aid claimed for his self-assessment.

there was no reason why you couldn’t just give her your post code!

If her husband is the one being registered as having made the gift aid declaration, it’s not unreasonable that he consents to it. If you’re “giving” more gift aid than you pay in tax, then you are liable for the difference. Plus - as a pp said, he may be philosophically opposed to the idea of gift aid and may not want to do it. That is his right. There was no need to be rude or pushy about it.

@Razorrain the details of retail gift aid from MarieCurie posted by @HotCrossBunplease is a bit disingenuous and only tells half the story.

If you sogn up for retail gift aid the smallprint says that the items remain your property until sold and that the charity shop is selling them on your behalf and will then claim your gift aid on the sale price money. If you don't pay much tax and you donate boutique or rare items of clothing you could end up owing HMRC money. Althoigh most charity shops now only allow returns for credit rarher than refund, there have been cases where charity shops did allow refunds and the person who donated the original itens is then liable to pay the extra tax into HMRC. I don't want to get embroiled in it at all.

Some people also have an ethical objection against Gift Aid in general. If you take the position that the state ought to be meeting people's needs for health and social care and that charities are meeting the needs where the state's offer is inadequate then it's a potential opinion to hold that it is inappropriate to remove some amount of the state's tax revenue and give it to the charity because in effect you are therefore merely contributing to making the state's funding shortfall worse

I would have said that I don't pay tax. I may even have added something mysterious, such as 'in the UK'.

We don't do gift aid either. It's a rediversion of tax, not money magically appeatinf from nowhere. I don't think it's odd. The OP doesn't pay tax and didn't feel comfortable making this decision on behalf of her husband (quite rightly). The charity shop worker was veey my rude, yes. However, as a PP has pointed out, possibly severely SEN so don't let it get to you.

She was rude. You don't owe anyone gift aid or your details, definitely not your husband's. Your explanation as to why shouldn't matter or deserve comment unless you were swearing /actually rude.

Yes, this. I find it odd that everyone automatically seems to think Gift Aid is a no-brainer.