To be annoyed the charity shop called me rude

[ohmydays37]

I donated two huge bags of clothes to local charity shop. Before I could even ask a question the woman who worked there demand my postcode for gift aid. I said my husband deals with that and I explained I wasn't comfortable giving his details without his permission. She then said, I was extremely rude and it was for gift aid and she was running a business. In no way was I being rude (which I told her).

I guess my AIBU to think you can't just ambush people for gift aid without knowing if 1) they pay tax and 2) you need to explain the details of it. Which she didn't.

Literally posted details of the retail gift aid scheme you sign up for about 4 posts above yours

which you give an address for. Perhaps you don’t work and pay tax but often when you pay for entry to somewhere which is a charity they ask for your postcode and name for gift aid. Its not a scheme you sign up for per se

I took some stuff to a charity shop for my parents recently and was asked about gift aid. I said that it was my parents stuff and she said "Oh just give me yours then it doesnt matter" I said that I am not a tax payer (I get carers allowance because I care for them) and the look she gave me! It was definitely judgemental, just not sure if it was because I am benefit scum or was driving a reasonably decent car that clearly someone of my lowly status shouldnt have or what!! It is a rather naice charity shop, staffed by naice ladies and allied to a particular Christian charity ironically, but I wont be taking stuff there again. Only went there as they have a sort of drive thru drop off point but fuck them.

What is it with charity shops staff being rude?

I want to support the charity that supported my late husband. But whenever I drop stuff off (and it's always good quality, laundered and carefully packed stuff, which they can tell straight away) the staff just grunt at me and don't even make eye contact when I drop it off.

Oddly enough they're reasonably pleasant if I'm looking around or buying stuff, so why so dismissive when I'm giving them stuff to sell? I barely ever get a thank you.

I work in a charity shop. We ask donors immediately if they are registered for gift aid with us so we can label bags accordingly before passing them to the back room to be sorted and tagged. It is not meant to offend, or pry, just to obtain accurate information as gift aid is so valuable to us and we have to be scrupulous about correct tagging. Donors can show us their card or just give surname/postcode and our system does the rest. That's presumably why you were asked straight away, tho it does not excuse rudeness - but as another OP wrote, most staff are volunteers from all walks of life and some may not necessarily have a solid understanding of the system, or perhaps shaky social skills.

Please do continue to make the effort to donate... Charity shops raise valuable funds, avoid waste, provide employment and a social outlet for volunteers, as well as selling great stuff at great prices. Our shop has limited storage so sometimes we have to turn donations away (which we hate!). If that happens, please do return another time, or at least give to another shop rather than binning your goodies. (Just don't leave donations on the doorstep as invariably they are destroyed by weather/foxes etc and end up as trash.) I know it takes time to sort, bag and deliver your possessions, but we are grateful.

I said that I am not a tax payer (I get carers allowance because I care for them) and the look she gave me! It was definitely judgemental, just not sure if it was because I am benefit scum or was driving a reasonably decent car that clearly someone of my lowly status shouldnt have or what!! It is a rather naice charity shop, staffed by naice ladies

id imagine that’s your own insecurity @PyongyangKipperbang. How does she know which car you drive? Bizarre

Because I was unloading from it. Not at all bizarre. I did say it has a sort of drive thru thing.

She was so rude! Even just to be so demanding as to expect you to do it. You were generous to take the things and in that case I do think that she, representing the charity, should have been grateful.

Gift aid means a charity receives your tax money rather than the government. Every time people complain about lack of resources in eg. Education, SEN support, it's because less money is sloshing around for the government to use. Some of it is going to pay extraordinarily high salaries of "charity" CEOs etc instead. That is why lots of people do not gift aid.

I didn't know you could give someone else's name to claim gift aid? Thought you had to sign etc

Well, she might have been rude.

But I imagine it's policy.

It's a bit like objecting to someone in McDonald's saying would you like fries with that?
The conversation will be scripted and they will be expected to stick to the script.

This is common in retail - eg WHSmith saying we have water on offer would you like one or when BP are doing a loyalty card drive they ask literally everyone whether they have one.

Most charities that I have interacted with recently - national trust, English heritage, etc always ask about gift aid now.

As an aside, saying your husband deals with it is if not rude, odd. Surely you know if you pay tax?

No she doesn't, and that's not what she said, she told them she wasn't happy giving her husbands details. You on the other hand do sound aggressive

Well the follow up question would have been the house number; they need the full address.

Welcome to Roystan Vasey

Absolutely this. This is very concerning. Gift aid benefits the charity significantly, and costs the giver nothing.

I was recently sorting out stuff of mine that’s been in my parents’ attic for years and, sad as it was, I will never see size 10 dresses or size 6 shoes again (thank you, DC!) so I took them to a charity shop.

They were also surly with me because I couldn’t gift aid it. I’ve lived abroad for many years and I’m not a UK taxpayer. I’m not going to lie!

Charities are huge businesses in many cases.

If you don’t pay tax you can’t gift aid, or if you do you’ll get a tax bill.

When asked for gift aid details

'No thank you' should be enough the person does not need to know if you pay tax or not or anything else nor tour life story

😆

Just tell them you’re not a taxpayer next time,
problem solved.

She was rude but you could have just said ‘I don’t pay tax’, instead of saying your husband deals with all that. It implies you do pay tax but that he sorts it for you, which would be quite frustrating to hear in this century.

She was abrupt but you could have just given the postcode, don't really know why you wouldn't do that tbh

You have the right not to leave any personal detail if you don't want to and no one should comment on this. The shop assistant comment was inappropriate, why should she offend you, just because you don't do what she wants? I would take my stuff back to the next charity shop. I hate when people act as entitled, in this case to have your details. Moreover they should say thank you for taking the time to select and bring them your stuff rather than throw it away. I see more entitlement in that.

I just say I'm not a tax payer.

But yes she was rude.