Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

[needsomewarmsunshine]

It's a totally natural thing but so many on here blame it for moods, bad behaviour, petty thinking and more. Inspired by another thread becoming annoyed about two men wearing caps in a restaurant.
You don't like it but why blame it on peri ? You are allowed to be annoyed /irritated about anything you want. It doesn't need an excuse to be human, just makes women look a slave to their moods.
I've been through it and used to get pmt badly. You are women and your body is taking its natural course in life.
If someone is being a twat, they are a twat whether you are peri of have pmt.
Ready to be flamed😄

Maybe it’s because the peri menopause has an impact on the moods of so many women?

I get that but even so.

I’m shockingly less patient than I used to be. Fluctuating hormones influence how you feel. You can easily lose track of whether or not your feelings are reasonable. You can lose track of whether your feelings are consistent. Something enraging one day is no big deal the next.

I absolutely blame menopause for the fact I do not tolerate shit from anyone anymore.

When I was all lived up on oestrogen I was so much more tolerant.

I believe some people use it as an excuse to avoid being called out for behaving unreasonably, similar to the current trend of using neurodivergence as an excuse. If someone is being publicly disruptive, unreasonable, or rude, then they should expect a negative reaction. Friends and partners might make allowances, but it shouldn't be a free pass to behave inappropriately.

Oh look the daily 'i sailed through the menopause without problems, the rest of you are using it as an excuse to behave badly' thread. 🙄

Newsflash : some of us become irrationally irritated by things that used to pass us by without comment. Including this kind of post.

I completely agree OP. Almost everything seems to get blamed on peri on here now. And if you’re too young then according to MN you’re probably still in peri but just hitting it unusually early 🙄

Oh, I really shouldn't have opened this thread today.

Estrogen makes you friendlier. When you less of it you see through the bullshit. I mean I could not blame or mention perimeno but would be a bit hypocritical if that's not how I was in the past.

I think many people generally struggle with emotional regulation and don’t have very good emotional literacy, which is a poor combination to have when mixed in with social attitudes towards and views around women’s behaviour which dictate when and how women should show particular emotions. It’s therefore easier to put your moods, bad temper, propensity to be argumentative or whatever down to peri menopause or menopause or PMT or depression or neurodiversity of whatever, than to examine the root causes and identify triggers and coping mechanisms.

Because women are meant to be saintly and good. It's easier/better/safer to blame hormones than to blame the fact that we live in a totally fucked up world which we are rightly pissed off about but have little power to change.

I'm not overly attached to that theory. It's just a thought. I should add that I am in peri so it might not be a rational thought 😀

Rude behaviour is rude behaviour regardless of peri, neurodivergence, mental illness etc.

Because women aren't allowed to be pissed off, frustrated, upset or, Heaven Forfend, angry - the companies that are making shitloads from peri-menopause branding of cosmetics, drinks, clothes, bubble bath, shampoo, diets and all the other tut that's now bombarded us needed the misogynistic trope of women being simple creatures at the mercy of their withering ovaries to be revived in order to sell this shit.

For me it's because the strength of my reactions are different from how they used to be. That may be because I'm seeing the reality of the world since all the love-hormones are wearing off!! But it might be because of the fluctuating hormones and I don't want to scare away anyone one been friends with up to now by not explaining.

Because it makes you too intolerant of people / situations to the point it's hard to function.

Not had the rage then?

Never mind, count yourself lucky.

Also therapy is expensive.

Im not peri yet but my days my hormones have been going crazy this weekend, full on sobbing and very irritable….might have started an argument with DH. I know I’m being mostly unreasonable but i feel like I can’t control it at times. Every month my hormones surprise me, I wonder why I’m in a foul mood then my period starts and it all makes sense……I can’t even imagine being peri. I’m already nervous about it!

Actually I had a lot of problems but it seems sometimes women have to excuse their moods whenever they are angry. We are allowed to be angry and not have a reason due to peri pmt. Some people on here are not really getting what I'm saying. It's not a race to the bottom.

I agree op

But what if you are angry due to perimenopause? We should be allowed to say so.

I think because it feels like it isn't me when I did feel complete rage, I have never felt that angry even when my Mum died and I was incredibly angry them. But the rage was a whole other level of angry over buying a car, something I have done a lot of. It would usually have resulted in me feeling a little bit of frustration but I wanted to tear the garage people limb from limb. That is not me. It luckily only happened twice that I felt that way but it was like a personality change, so I do blame peri for that.

I have always been around women who are honest about their feelings toward things so they can be angry without needing to apologise. My friend has been diagnosed with cancer for the third time, she is absolutely raging and makes no apologies for feeling completely pissed off about it.

I'm 43 and have suffered from the throes of perimenopause for the past 4 years now. I'm in extreme pain from my period today, regularly have horrible pain over my body (gums are incredibly painful from gingivitis, joints, hurt, migraines etc) because of my fluctuating horrible hormones and have all those on top of my neurological involuntary movement disorder that was caused by an injury from an off label antipsychotic after a head injury.

I think I'm kind of allowed to be pissed off, grumpy, and short with people occasionally. I don't want to be horrible or bad towards them, just angry at my ageing body trying to cope with so much shite 😫

Exactly this.

Without oestrogen, the scales fall from your eyes and you have a new, somewhat disconcerting, perspective on life. This takes some adjusting to and reacting with anger, depression, irritability etc. are to be expected.

Perhaps some women didn’t get angry/annoyed/irritated before entering peri and then do, so it’s a logical conclusion to make. It’s similar to someone who is pregnant blaming their constant sickness on pregnancy, because they didn’t have it before and then they do.

Some people can only relate to their experience of something so if you were the type of person to get easily irritated before going through peri, then it’s unlikely peri will be the cause. However, being angry/annoyed/irritated are known symptoms of peri (just like vomiting is of pregnancy, although many women never experience it). Just because you didn’t experience it, doesn’t change the facts.