Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

[needsomewarmsunshine]

It's a totally natural thing but so many on here blame it for moods, bad behaviour, petty thinking and more. Inspired by another thread becoming annoyed about two men wearing caps in a restaurant.
You don't like it but why blame it on peri ? You are allowed to be annoyed /irritated about anything you want. It doesn't need an excuse to be human, just makes women look a slave to their moods.
I've been through it and used to get pmt badly. You are women and your body is taking its natural course in life.
If someone is being a twat, they are a twat whether you are peri of have pmt.
Ready to be flamed😄

@JenniferBooth youve got atrophy. Nothing to do with what you were taking. You need localised estrogen to treat it as its progressive and will get worse.

Totally agree, own it, it's natural.

//

And tbf OP many, many posters have owned it. I own it in that it I accept it's a natural process. That doesn't mean that some of us suffer horribly as a result and need meds to help make this process easier on us and our bodies. To help us sleep and manage out moods so we can continue to be productive at work and a nice person to live with.

Your posts are hugely lacking in empathy and compassion for those who have suffered more than yourself. You are making sweeping generalisations while accusing other women of making excuses. Peri and the menopause may be natural but to claim this means this process is not the root of how awful women can feel and doesn't drive behaviour is bullshit.

And actually, you can even put a positive spin on the fact that when oestrogen production grinds to a halt/slows down massively then our once natural people pleaser/peace keeper also jumps off the cliff with it and we are now No Filter.

So yea we don't take crap off people anymore, stop being taken for mugs and talk more straight. This can be a direct result of hormonal changes.

It's also how many, many men have conducted themselves since the year dot. Were just becoming More Men

I think you’re getting flamed unnecessarily here OP! I understand what you’re saying completely…
you aren’t accusing women of using peri as an excuse. You’re saying that sometimes it’s ok to be angry because people have pissed you off and that your feelings shouldn’t be minimised.
If someone had really upset me and I told them, I would be livid if they said “do you think it’s your hormones” as it’s an excuse not to take my feelings seriously!

I’m through the other side of it now and I’m serene as fuck. I can really notice the difference between now and peri/pms and by that I mean how my body feels as well as the impact of it on my mood and emotions. I feel like it’s been minimised and ignored my entire life so I’m glad it’s more recognised now.

First used in 1962 according to Google but clearly common usage is much more recent.

There's angry and then there's angry.

Peri can mean being angry almost all the time, for things that normally wouldn't even register, at a level totally disproportionate to the issue.

The worse part of it is the feeling that it is uncontrollable.

I don't understand the point of your thread. You seem to acknowledge the above yet condemn the fact that some women point to it. It doesn't make sense.

Even so what!?

Moods can change dramatically due to peri menopause

the feelings of anxiety and rage can escalate totally out of control. Brain fog and depression can be crushing and that’s before you get to any physical symptoms

why are you so triggered by something so common?

Yet another case of a woman bashing other women for absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

When you are perimenopausal or suffering from a drastic drop in hormones at any point like when on the pill, having suffered a miscarriage and straight after a birth, you can have really significant mood changes that can also affect behaviour. The weird thing is you don't necessarily know your mood and behaviour is due to a total lack of oestrogen, it seems normal at the time. On the pill I would get really easily enraged. Like proper throw things across the room enraged and not at all like that off the pill. Post miscarriage and both devastated and hormone impacted I went off the rails. Same happened again in perimenopause but you do not see it as hormonal until you get your oestrogen back and connect the dots. Of course everyone is different and some people are not as badly affected by hormonal changes. Studies have shown that some women's brains desperately need oestrogen to function well and others rely a lot less on it.

In peri, prior to HRT I increasingly found my husband incredibly annoying, massively unfunny and was barely tolerating him. Turned out it was me, not him. Started HRT and started laughing again. Not pretending to laugh. Proper finding him funny, enjoying his company etc. He hadn't changed.

What I will say, note the bit about not realising your twattish behaviour is hormonal....

Ive had a bad experience with HRT but i would defend the right of other women to take it if they want or need to. Its just not for me

Sex is not painful. Im getting wet and having orgasms without any extra help.

This was me. Irrationally angry. I agree now I'm through it I put up with less shit. But hormones being all over the place really made me a little bit deranged.

Im on Day 14 of bleeding after taking HRT. The bleeding started after being on it for 13 weeks. I stopped taking HRT nine days after the bleeding started. Im much more irritated now than i was before taking it due to having heavy bleeding (not spotting as they like to claim) period pain, piles peeing every ten mins period shits All the things i had to go with my periods came back. I never had a sore fanjo before HRT but i do now thanks to all the bleeding Ive been on the mini pill for three years. No periods for two years + My last heavy one must have been around 2018/19 Its affected my sex life (which wasnt a problem before Took this to prevent possible future problems and in doing so ive created a problem in the present. Im 51 and possibly still in peri and mini pill possibly stopped my periods but i wish id never touched HRT and took the leftover pills to Boots yesterday to be destroyed.

That's interesting. I was thinking the other day that older women have a serenity about them. I look forward feeling less angsty.

I always got sore when bleeding on my period If thats counted as vaginal atrophy then my atrophy started when i was eleven.

it's also a bit of the ol' "women should always be so lovely and kind and nice and not annoy people" and guess what? we're human.

Even way before i went into menopause i stopped giving a shit and started behaving much more like a man (not going out of my way to "be kind") and not tolerate bullshit.

Made my life a lot better. Other people? well they had to cope.

If you get it, then why would you ask such a stupid question. What would you prefer things be "blamed on"

The rest of your comments seem like hate baiting BS.

Now, go on back to being a slave to your ignorance.

Of course your hormones make a difference. Are you saying all of the medical websites are wrong?

And why does it bother you so much anyway? Are you sure you aren't peri 😂

Well things change when you reach peri menopause, same as they do during your cycle, during pregnancy, at puberty.

I do agree it's not an excuse to behave like an arse and expect not to be confronted about it, efforts should be made to control and monitor it because taking it out on others isn't acceptable.

There was a thread a few months ago about a woman who was maybe in peri who was awful to service staff, by her own admission. It annoyed me that the peri was used as an excuse for how she behaved, and wasn't really seeking to change that, because as someone also in peri, but in a service job myself, it would never be tolerated the other way around. I would be expected to deal with how I felt myself, seek help, do something about it, get a different job etc etc, and it would be extremely unacceptable for me to do it, peri or not. So yeah, there's times people use it as a way to excuse behaviour they know is unacceptable. The behaviour and reason for it are the same, but it being acceptable seems to depend on who it's aimed at.

The thread you talk about is to me, just someone venting, she's not actually going around knocking caps off people's heads, she's not taking it out on other people.

There's a difference between feeling and discussing these things that give you rage when they were mildly annoying or didn't even register before and that peri menopause can cause those feelings, and using it as a get out of jail free card to abuse other people.

My perimenospause caused me to attempt suicide.

Personally, I could usually tell the difference between irrational red mist hormonal feelings and genuine and justifiable responses to situations. By the time we reach PM, most of us are at an age where we know ourselves and our emotions reasonably well. We know what's normal for us and what feels like an unusually intense reaction. So when we 'blame' the latter on PM, its usually because that's exactly what it is. I think the real problem lies when other people try to tell us our reasonable irritations are due to our hormones. This is a horrible form of gaslighting designed to manipulate us into being passive in the face of genuine grounds for grievance.

The term "peri" winds me up irrationally. It's "perimenopause" or "perimenopausal".

Agree a lot of women blame everything on being menopausal and often refuse to consider it could be explained by something else, such as their crap marriage, awful husband or delinquent children, not to mention various other ailments that affect the over 40s.

Yes. I was in my late 40s when we had the lockdowns and that affected a lot of people psychologically and emotionally including myself.

I would agree with this to a certain extent. I know plenty of adults who are unable to regulate their emotions and communicate effectively. Having said that, I am usually incredibly patient, I have to be as I’ve been an unpaid carers for 20 years. I can communicate effectively too.

I’ve never suffered from pmt or mood swings but perimenopause is kicking my arse. My patience is gone, I just can’t put up with the things I used too. Plus, I am far more willing to speak up, or question anyone I disagree with or suspect they are wrong. Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s my hormones but I’m no longer willing to smile and be polite and put up with stuff women are expected to take, I actually think my behaviour is more similar to the average man now, but I probably come across as a harridan.