Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

[needsomewarmsunshine]

It's a totally natural thing but so many on here blame it for moods, bad behaviour, petty thinking and more. Inspired by another thread becoming annoyed about two men wearing caps in a restaurant.
You don't like it but why blame it on peri ? You are allowed to be annoyed /irritated about anything you want. It doesn't need an excuse to be human, just makes women look a slave to their moods.
I've been through it and used to get pmt badly. You are women and your body is taking its natural course in life.
If someone is being a twat, they are a twat whether you are peri of have pmt.
Ready to be flamed😄

My generation used to blame PMT, the following generations blame things like peri-menopause.

Thats life. 😉

Have some compassion for fucks sake! During peri I felt like aliens had taken over my body. Settled down after a year or so, but it was a horrible time. I know the difference between an off day and that period in my life.

People are getting what you are saying. It’s just that what you are saying doesn’t make any sense!

Because I have turned into a right grumpy mare since peri menopause has started.
I feel like I have less patience for people who do things that I feel is stupid or just annoying
where as before I would let it go now it just annoys me.
A few of my friends are the same so we tend to blame most things now on Peri menopause

A classic ‘it didn’t impact me so everyone must be making it up’ thread!

Well it’s just that sometimes I’m in the same room as someone I love very much, who is a nice and good person, but because we’re in the same room and I can hear them breathing, I have to leave before I want to start shouting or throwing things.

I never used to feel like that. Just feels like a bit of a coincidence that it started happening when I was 45, at the same time my joints started hurting, my eye sight fell off a cliff and my periods went haywire. Yeah….it’s perimenopause.

You’ll be happy to know though that I don’t behave badly (in public or private), and I avoid confrontation at all costs.

But yes, I experience flashes of irrational rage that are definitely caused by my changing hormones.

Peri menopause almost sent me over the edge. I felt suicidal at times. I had to phone the Samaritans it got that bad.

I think it does affect some people's mood but that plenty of others pretend to others or even themselves that it does, when really it doesn't. I could have predicted plenty in advance, based on personality when younger.

Complete bollocks.

but you obviously don't get it if you're saying you understand why women attribute their mood to that but then at the same time saying they shouldn't. Presumably they aren't just using it as an excuse, they believe their biological changes ARE the reason for their mood, so if that's what they think why are they not allowed to say it? If anything it's showing self-awareness.

even in the example you quoted, people wearing hats aren't really 'being a twat.' That's the whole point, it's something that wouldn't have even registered as being annoying with lots of people, possibly including the OP herself a few years ago, so it makes sense for lots of her to then think 'hmm why is something fairly innocuous annoying me so much?' and if there's no other obvious cause, it could very well be the case that the huge hormonal difference happening in my body IS the reason for my changed behaviour.

It's the same as any other reason for feeling stronger emotions than usual - crying easily because you're pregnant, snapping at people because you're having a tough time at work, struggling because of dementia. Presumably if those people weren't, for example, pregnant or didn't think pregnancy was affecting their emotions they wouldn't blame it on pregnancy! Those who don't feel being p-m affects their moods won't suggest it is, but those that do are allowed to!

Because women aren't allowed to be pissed off, frustrated, upset or, Heaven Forbid, angry

So, why don't we just own it instead of blaming our hormones all the time?
I get that the menopause affects everyone differently, but I feel that blaming every little transgression on feeling menopausal is doing women no favours. I feel we are shooting ourselves in the foot by doing this.

It's the same with people using the poor mental health card as a free ticket to behave badly.

It doesn't help those with genuine problems attributed to the menopause or mental health issues because everything is minimised.

You are implying exactly the same as misogynistic men do with your internalised misogynistic attitudes towards women.
Hormones, whether that is PMT or due to pregnancy or menopause do affect significantly impact some women.
You are implying that this somehow makes us less competent than men.
just because this hasn’t been your experience it doesn’t make it untrue.

Who says we do blame our hormones all the time or blame every little transgression on feeling menopausal. I don't think I know anyone who does that all the time, and I work with a lot of perimenopausal and menopausal women.

I totally agree

Seems to me, the more aware women are becoming of the affects of perimenopause and understanding why they are feeling and behaving differently, the more people are coming out to bash them for it.

Just another version of "women, know your place" 🙄

I can really empathise with this @Waitingfordoggo. For many many years some of my EH's habits were no problem to live with. Then when I was 47 his loud chewing, plate scraping, tutting, snoring, loud breathing became incredibly annoying. At the same time I got hot flushes, achey joints, dry eyes, went off alcohol, tinnitus.....

The lack of tolerance was new to me and very difficult. I managed not to say anything because I knew that it was "me" not "him".

Ironically he left me a few years later citing my "menopausal symptoms" and being "opinionated " as some of the reasons he wanted to end what I had thought was a happy marriage.

I was initially floored and very upset but rather embarrassingly got over his departure surprisingly quickly. I do wonder if the menopause helped me realise quite quickly that he was a self-entitled, judgmental, emotionally immature, misogynistic twat, having previously thought he was amazing!

I can only describe peri as feeling like you've been hit by a truck and then reversed over, my own personal experience that is @Didimum made an interesting comment which I agree with.

I think I read somewhere that the hormonal fluctuations that women experience makes them more similar to men in terms of emotional volatility.

So basically women temporarily become irrational, whereas testosterone makes men like that all the time.

I couldn't walk across the road - spacial awareness all gone. Couldn't ride my bike
Anxiety
Lucky you

I don’t know why more women don’t take HRT, unless they can’t for medical reasons.

I truly wish I'd been born a man sometimes 😪 The horrible period pains that started when I was in early puberty aged 10 were agonising, in class at school, especially as I felt quite a young immature girl. I'd get extremely painful periods and remember wishing I didn't suffer so much, but none of my friends could relate at all really 😔

I'm obviously quite sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, and actually sometimes feel pretty envious of those lucky people who.don't suffer from the joys of PMS, migraines, brain fog, period pains etc. Life must be so much more pleasant physically on some levels.

I see women blaming peri-menopause for everything- starting in their 30s for the next 20 years. What a load of tosh!

I don't get what you mean here.
It's natural?
Are you suggesting that people are saying that it's not natural?
Losing oestrogen is natural and it brings about changes. Some of those changes are to mood. Therefore, peri menopause can effect mood in some women.

It can be blamed for how you feel but not as excuse to treat others badly

Men are bad women are just hormonal, no not buying it

Because before I went into perimenopause, I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Then I suddenly started hearing myself telling dickheads what I thought of them.

Geese live in fear of me now. It’s great.