To think sex noises sound ridiculous

[PeachyKeane]

I'm in a hotel bedroom peacefully having a cup of tea. Or was.... the couple in the room next door have just started having noisy sex. And the walls are thin. Lots of huffing, puffing, moaning and groaning.

AIBU to think sex noises sound utterly ridiculous 🙄

😂

It's not a choice for me. I've wished it was sometimes. Are there people who actually have silent orgasams?

Some noises sound ridiculous, especially if they’re fake.

I don’t know many people who watch porn with the sound on because it’s just absolutely ridiculous.

There was a thread a couple of years ago about what sexual partners would say during sex and some of them were hilarious/so cringey!

I remember one saying her ex used to chant to himself and say how great he was.
And my friend slept with someone who kept saying good girl over and over.

I think I’d rather take the grunts and groans over some of those replies lol.

I guess so when a person is frigid

I see we've been joined by the usual twelve year old boys again. 👋

This. Excuse my innocence but are silent orgasms possible?

I'm not talking about screaming the house down but zero sound at all has me confused.

It would be physically impossible for me! DH is vocal, too. Neither of us are shaking the rafters but total silence would be a complete impossibility.

When we lived in a semi we could hear our neighbours 😂 Once time, the creaking started and about 15 seconds later we heard ‘I’m coming babe’. Only the ‘babe’ was squeaked out so loudly that he sounded like God knows what 🙄

I’m curious 🧐 The tortoise’s that I saw shagging at the zoo last week weren’t making much noise 😂

Oh they are.
Also sloppy loud kissing noises.

About a decade ago now I stayed in a dorm and in the middle of the night a couple started having sex. There was a French guy in the dorm who wasn't having any of it though. He jumped out of his top bunk, ran over to the couple's bed and pulled the duvet of them (!) while shouting loudly in French that this was unacceptable behaviour in a shared room. The woman was absolutely mortified and I think the couple ended up checking out first thing the next morning.

What so you make loud noise even if you know people are listening?
Yes people can have silent orgasms. Surely everyone can be quiet though if not silent?

Yeah course it's possible.
But also you don't have to be completely silent to not bother people in the next room

Female goats make plenty of weird noises during the act, including a lip blubbering thing they do and a deep groaning, and male goats definitely don't need an ego boost at any stage of their lives. So it might not be social conditioning for women to make noise to boost the egos of their partners. It might be a natural mamal thing that just can not be controlled.

Of course, if you make a conscious effort to. I wouldn't recommend it everytime for the sake of it as it is distracting, but if needs must and you're somewhere you want to be discreet then of course you can.

I think a lot of the time they are made up and aiming to pornify sex. A certain amount is fun, but for heavens sake!

Thus is true. But sometimes you're taken by surprise, even with all the will in the world! I don't mean constant shrieking throughout, but sometimes no matter how hard you try your body and your mind just don't correspond.

It doesn't usually sound like the pornified "Oh yeah, just right there!" crap though. I try not to think too hard about the sounds I make. I'd not want to have sex with me! 🤣

This reminds me of Eyeball Paul, Kevin and Perry and “All I wanna do is do it!”. 😂 Record bits, mix it using a computer programme and you too could be Eyeball Paul!

Used to hear uni hallmate, whenever she had her boyfriend over. Sounded like he was very good at it - it was her that was most vocal, and it went on for a couple of hours at a time.