To think sex noises sound ridiculous

[PeachyKeane]

I'm in a hotel bedroom peacefully having a cup of tea. Or was.... the couple in the room next door have just started having noisy sex. And the walls are thin. Lots of huffing, puffing, moaning and groaning.

AIBU to think sex noises sound utterly ridiculous 🙄

@Isittoolatea it got to the stage where we were naming them Rod, Jane and Freddie and working out which one was doing what. I've just said to my DH do you remember them and he said 'FFS I don't think I'll ever forget that!'

😂😂😂😂😂😂 which one was the most enthusiastic? I’m putting my money on Rod

Absolutely this, I am that person. Chances are we'll never meet or cross paths, and if we were to pass in the hall, we're not likely to meet again. Different maybe in a small hotel.

Also, famously, some people meet in hotels, for sex! Shocking stuff.

I just gipped in my mouth .

I can remember some year’s ago staying at a friend’s house in a very expensive area with very big posh houses. I opened my bedroom window and could here these very loud sex noises coming from a house backing on to our back garden. I remember thinking that the noises sounded ridiculous, it was mid morning and couldn’t help thinking maybe she was with the gardner or pool man while her dh was at work 😁 Really brought the tone of the posh neighbourhood down, I thought.

And like a pp said, why is it always the woman? I didn’t hear a peep from him.

Nothing stealthy about it. Especially as he was rather small.

I took that to mean the OP was stealth bragging about referring to her own uber tight lala. I could be wrong, though. 🤷‍♀️ 😗

I see this has been updated since... 😅

I have and I used to find the forced quiet sex to actually be much more intense and enjoyable . Too much noise is very distracting and I can’t help thinking it’s overcompensating.

Forced as in having to be quiet.

wondering if all those who are saying making noise is a choice have never had the sort of sex so amazing that involuntary noises escape you

I never, ever hear this. How boring.

Yep, got it in one. We're all pearl clutching, dried up old frumps, tutting and making cat's bum faces in disapproval at all this joyous nocturnal exuberance.

🙄

@UnctuousUnicorns that made me laugh! I’m not massively noisy myself, but very aware that sometimes noises escape me I had no control over! I used to work in a fairly upmarket hotel when I was younger, honestly some sex noises is not the worst thing you come across in hotels

Over the top performative moaning is ick. Regular old noises of enjoyment? I'd much prefer that than silence!

Once slept with a chap who got on top, closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and pretty much held his breath for the duration. 😂 I had to end that sharpish!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I can’t

That sounds awful. It's the last thing i would want to do on a ferry 😂
I've heard people in hotels. Sounded performative very OTT.
I remember a thread described neighbours and someone said change the WiFi name to WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU SHAGGING. Even better changing it to your Alan Partridge nugget.

Perhaps it was his attempt at auto asphyxiation? 🤔

The mattress was squeaky, too! 😂😂

Possibly! He certainly took it very seriously. Studiously!

I once stayed in a beach hut type place by the sea, so zero soundproofing. The couple in the hut next door started up with the loud noises, and I can only conclude that the man needed regular ego massaging. The woman's shouting was like a script - constant "Nobody is as big as you!" "It's never felt this good" and "Only you do it for me!". I wonder if they too heard my snorting giggles?!

Oh god sex noises are ridiculous. The screamy ones are outright hilarious.

Sort of related:

The other place I find noises are ridiculous, are gyms where men grunt and make all kinds of stupid noises. Someone decided to combine the two.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂first time I’ve laughed today in weeks thank you

Heeheehee, if only Mr Silent knew that his seriousness was bringing such cheer all these years later! 😂

I'm glad you've had a good laugh and I hope you're feeling okay! All of the un-mumsnetty hugs to you!

Thank you x
Going through absolute hell at minute but your post really made me chuckle 🤭

Maybe theyre shooting a porn video if theyre OTT noises….horny at the hilton?!