too fussy about my blind date's shoes???

[VinegarTits]

Went on a blind date on Friday night, nice looking guy, tall (6 ft 6) and handsome in a rough looking way, we got on very well and he liked me a lot, in fact he told me yesterday in a phone conversation, that when he saw me come across the pub car park he was blown away! but i didnt like his shoes and its really putting me off him....

In my effort to not let this affect my perception of him, i agreed to go out with him again yesterday for lunch, in hope he would be wearing better shoes.....

His shoes were not as bad this time, but not great either, and i didnt like his t-shirt...wtf is wrong with me, i know IABU, why am i being so fussy when i cant afford to at my age!

Can i take him shopping for new shoes??

vinegar, what if he is talking to his friends right now, and complaining that you didn't wear stilletos and a mini skirt.....

my mum said she once dumped someone coz she ddin't like his coat

he does sound surfy type which is v sexy and I think you should give him teh benefit of the doubt for now.Esp as he has big feet!My dp was dreadful in teh style stakes but has got better and I was like you until we got between the sheets.

Seriously, just out of a long realtionship, why why why WHY and now he is suddenly ready for someone new?

Alarm bells,, sorry, and if he has not learnt how to dress by now he never will.

Any man who calls me a conundrum gets the boot instantly - it means he can only see your knicker potential and doesn't get you, but hey, let's not let that stand in the way of some sex.

Also the grey/black shirt thing makes him sound like an eighties pub landlord. I could be wrong.

I just can't shift the image of Leslie whatsit who was in Eastenders.

You can do better....Oh yes, so much better!

You're looking at this too much from a woman's perspective.

He is a single bloke who hasn't been involved with a woman for quite a while. He probably thought he had it spot on - he'd washed, put on (I assume) clean clothes, he'd brought a hankie so he didn't have to wipe his nose on his sleeve.... bloody hell you are giving him no benefit of the doubt at all!

I don't imagine it even crossed his mind to polish his shoes.

Shoes and clothes can be changed, what you need to think about is whether he fundamentally is the sort of person you would want to see again.

I really like those Cornish pasty shoes. They're cool.

But if it's only his shoes that are troubling you and everything else seems to appeal, then give the guy a break.

There's nobody else sniggering at his shoes. Or his T-shirt.

You sound hyper critical. I feel sorry for the guy. He could be going out with someone who isn't quite so judgemental and from the sounds of things, it wouldn't take him long to find that someone.. . . . . . .

When it's his birthday next, get him the clothes you like. He of course may not like them.

Yellow teeth however, I don't think I could go for yellow teeth. Is he a smoker?

You might be right Sidge...it's so hard to know isn't it?

Fwiw my ex is probably influencing my thoughts a bit - he always made a great fuss about washing and shaving and clean clothes (even though they were revolting) when he came round. Then he started to insist I was a lazy slattern because I didn't make time to shave my legs and have a long bath beforehand - not like he offered to look after Ds while I relaxed into the bubbles
and then he stopped me from seeing his children (i met them about twice in the 8 months we were together) because I walked to their house on a windy day and my hair was messy. He said they were 'disgusted' that I hadn't tried harder.

Sorry, rambling. But some men do make the effort and are still nobby

He is 39, i dont mean to come across as a complete critical cow, im just being honest, i guess if i really liked him his shoes wouldnt bother me, he did look like a 80's pub landlord, your spot on there!

How were his manners VinegarTits? you know what they say?

I have a thing for shoes - I think pale shoes and unpolished shoes show low self esteem and a low libido.

Polished shoes in my limited experience show someone who is making an effort and has self respect.

My dad was RAF though and I have a military family, so shoes are a deal breaker for me.
first thing i noticed about my xpublic school Dh was his polished shoes.

Why do you want to go shopping with him? I thought you were looking for a relationship, not a shopping partner?

You do know you will never change him don't you?

ouch, he should be smarter than that!

But, my brother is a similar height, and he can only buy shoes from 1 or 2 specialits retailers. Also clothes, he buys from 2 shops in London, which are very expensive (as are the shoes). So, I'd forgive him the shoes. they may have been the only thing that was in the sale, or something like that.

Well that would depend on how dirty they were...just making the point that it's a bit mean to criticise someone who can't buy shoes, for having bad shoes.

Yes TMMJ you are right, i am 36 this year and dont want to be left on the shelf....so not sure whether im still single because i am too fussy!

His arse was nice, when we went for lunch, he drove and his car could have done with a clean, and it smelled a bit. i had my car valeted on Friday because i knew i was driving to meet him!

I threw hints about the dust on his dash board so hopefully he will clean it next time!

Message withdrawn