Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

I'd not spend a minute longer around such a negative toxic person.

All meals going forward alone. Bin her off OP.

Judgmental people like this are the worst people to hang around. They sap you of every joy of life, make you start to question everything about yourself and make you want to crawl under a stone and come out again.

Basically OP you're on holiday with a bully.

I'd cut all contact.

Yes I agree with moving hotels. She sounds awful.

Read a book? Tell her to bloody stop videoing you.

This was me and a friend in Turkey (actually she ruined every holiday we went on). She obvs did it to hid her insecurities but even though I knew that it did not help! She had died so I no longer have to look for excuses not to go with her anymore! I prefer to be on my own but she would not be happy on her own!

This. OP please wander off and do your own thing for the rest of the holiday.

The videoing clinches it. This is a person with issues. Why wait until you go home to drop her?

Sort out a few days alone: a day trip out; or a day alone in a secluded spot on the beach where she's not likely to find you; anything to serve as a tonic to help you salvage at least some of the holiday. Face it, not much isn't preferable to being around the constant well of negativity emitted by this fun sponge.

I have a friend I love to travel with. It can be a lovely experience. This woman isn't a friend.

She is a nasty piece of work.

Get as much distance between you and her to give yourself a break and please yourself what you do from now on. You put vinegar tits in her place and that is good, you were more than in your rights to do this because of her toxic attitude towards you.

What did you say when you snapped and how did she react? Did you actually snap and tell her to stop or just a subtle comment?

Completely agree op.

Do you have separate rooms? If so do not talk to her, eat with her, or spend any time with her.

In fact, I would be inclined to pack up & move to another hotel or just get an early flight home & never, ever speak to her again.

YANBU, OP. Do not under any circumstance give her any apology. It sounds like you have put up with you. Friends are supposed to build you up, not make you doubt yourself and try to shame you, which is what she's doing. You deserve better. X

*put up with enough

God, what a nightmare. For some reason she's got hyper-irritable and everything you do is a red rag to a bull. I'd be inclined to suggest at least one full day apart and to meet up for the breakfast the next day to see if you've started enjoying each other's company. Naming what is going on might change the dynamic.

Agree with most of the above comments, she is not a friend at all, and to take videos of you is horrible especially considering she doesn't want them taken of herself, she is clearly jealous but that crosses a line especially to share it in a group chat. I would try get a seperate room if not sharing if you can and try and enjoy your final few days. As for someone looking at you and apparently giving you dirty looks chances are they weren't, in fact chances are you look miserable from said friend or she's overheard how she is speaking to you. There is no excuse of how you are being treated, i would absolutely get some headphones block her out especially if your sitting next to each other on the flight home, if the plane has empty seats take it.

Just ask her when she turned into a woodpecker

People like that are exhausting. Hope you manage to find some happy time on what's left if your holiday

Good grief, that's not tensions running high. Your friend is being absolutely horrible.

Years ago I went away with my two friends who were sisters. They spent the whole holiday squabbling with each other, except when one of them was pissed off with me and suddenly they were a united front. It was absolute hell. Holidays can bring out the worst in people.

That would be the end for me.

She's not your friend.

It sounds like she is constantly trying to "put your in your place" (as she sees it) so she can feel superior.

Do you think she feels jealous of you? You mentioned she is a larger lady. Do you think she feels self conscious in a swimsuit and eating in the restaurant? And deflects those feelings by telling you other people are looking disgustedly at YOU? I am sure they are not by the way.

I'm not surprised you got pissed off. What did you say and how did you react?

The videoing thing is awful especially when she's banned you from doing the same. I would say all bets are off and if she gets you on camera you will do the same. Unless you've already salvaged your holiday by going to stay elsewhere.

Why is this friend SO DAMN JEALOUS of you??? 'Cos that's what it sounds like. if she's videoing you without your consent, in an effort to 'shame' you, even tho' as you say, she's bigger than you. Sounds like a whole load of jealousy to me.

I'd get the right arseache with that. Why be nasty for no reason. Tell her to fuck off and have a nice holiday yourself. Some people are just insecure and spiteful. I used to have a friend who was at least twice my size and would always pick on my appearance. It was constant Oh why are you eating that. Your face is getting very round. That dress makes you look pregnant.

I just thought fuck off love, you look like you ate me and then some! I phased her out in the end, didn't need all that negativity.

She ain't your friend honey, say bye

She sounds like an insufferable cow. She’s putting you down to try to make herself feel better. I would be petty and take some unflattering photos/videos of her and whenever she posts something of you post one of her. She’ll soon get the message. Put your headphones on, read a book, go for a wonder without her instead of letting her use you as an emotional punchbag.

What do you mean when you say snapped? Did you just say “I’m getting really tired of you picking at every thing I’m doing” or did you scream at her in the restaurant? I agree with a PP who said let her know what is getting to you. Drip, drop comments can drive you up the wall but can seem petty if you just have one example so have a few to mention to her. Good luck whichever way it works out, and try and enjoy your holiday.

Maybe she has a self esteem problem and is taking it out on you.
In your shoes I would be buying a headset and ignoring her for the rest of the holiday. I would rather listen to a pneumatic drill than hear her snarky comments 😎

Not a friend to you. Best rid of her.

Right, so now you know what she's like. She probably is very insecure, but WHO CARES? You don't have to put up with this. Incredibly rude, self-centred.
Ditch her, OP. And don't feel bad about it.

She has hardly spent any time with her before. So she has no idea if she is "normally like this".

Stop making excuses for her. She is rude, critical, selfish and a complete b**ch for videoing the OP when the OP specifically asked her not to.