Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

She's so jealous of you it makes her feel better to run you down constantly. She deserves a taste of her own medicine. Invite her out for one last coffee and comment on her clothes, her weight, how tired/ill she looks, her every word and gesture. If she gets her phone out, tell her you really don't want to see her Auntie's cat, or hear her gossip about others. Tell her she must be very insecure and that she has a lot of work to do on herself to undo the bitchiness she's developed. Enjoy every second and make sure no one, friend or fiend treats you like that again.

This isn’t typical of friends on holiday, OP. I’ve been on loads of girls hols and had a brilliant time. Sounds like your friend is just an arse hole.

I lost a friend of 20 years on holiday and never spoke again.

Its not uncommon I think it's because you can't get away easily you're sort of trapped with them so tensions can build to breaking point.

I'd have snapped too.

Are you being serious? If you were in the same situation you would actually call the police?!

It’s not on for OP’s friend to be filming her without her permission and I’d be very upset if a ‘friend’ did that to me but calling the police is very extreme. The uk already has limited police resources and often just give a crime reference number - even for serious crimes.

We had our house broken into and the glass on the door smashed one night when we were out, we got a crime reference number and that was it when we reported it.

There is a huge difference between someone taking unwanted photos of a friend on holiday and child abuse, I can’t believe anyone would make a comment using any kind of comparison between the two.

“That women over there is giving you dirty looks.”

How old is this “friend”. She’s sounds like a 14 year old.

Id be hoofing that “friendship” to infinity and beyond.

And Don’t let her manipulate you into thinking any of this is your fault. She’d clearly been a cunt for no particular rhyme nor reason.
You’ve bitten your tongue for as long as you could and now you’ve clapped back.

Okay, here’s the plan.

The evening before you leave to go home, during your last meal, say this:
”I’m really happy we had this opportunity to take this vacay together. Because I see now that YOU ARE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS, RUDE AND SELF-ABSORBED HUMAN BEING I have EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF MEETING.
Your family is ugly and YOU ARE BORING!!
When we get back, lose my number.”

I know a nice person like you won’t really say something like that, but wouldn’t it be grand if you did?
And people like her are the ones who really deserve it.
Hang in there, OP. Safe flight home. ❤️

She actually sounds jealous of you.
And of course you have to say something on MUMSN. Don't suffer alone.
Any way you can keep out of her way for the rest of the holiday ?

Holidays are always a weird little microclimate within a friendship. I went on a holiday to Ibiza with a very new friend, we had the most amazing time - had the best nights out of my life and loads of fun.
However afterwards as I got to know her better I quickly realised she was an annoying, attention seeking, passive aggressive twat and I’ve let the friendship tail off. Two years later I went on basically the exact same holiday with my very best friend of years, who I talk to every day, have exactly the same sense of humour, who I love more than anyone else in the world apart from my DC and DH - but for some reason the holiday didn’t work, we wanted to do different things, bickered the whole time, it all felt forced and unenjoyable.
From your post does sound like your friend is being an arse, but if you’ve had a fantastic friendship up til now then don’t write it off, let the dust settle afterwards - it might just be a case of not having the right ‘holiday chemistry’ with her!

She is horrible and you need to stop this ‘friendship’. Get through the holiday somehow then drop her.

I have a friend exactly like this except for weight talk. We used to live together but one day I went the fuck off on her and we stopped being friends for years. We are friendly again and she’s still the same and I just don’t spend too much time with her or I bite my tongue and try to let comments go. It’s tough tho.

Your friend is gaslighting you to make herself feel better; suspect she has a fragile self confidence and can only feel better casting shade on you.. you are obviously more self confident and stronger than she is..

For a chance at friendship… record her for a few times, then simply parrot her questions back at her at a different time .. if she asks why so brutal and rude.. can say… glad you feel the same.. I have been barraged with your tone all holidays. Why?
if she can’t provide a humane reason.. set her free.. she has issues that will only weigh you down.

She is a nasty vicious bully.
Make no mistake.
Every time she picks up her phone, video her.
Every single time.
She is a nasty bitch.
Stay the hell away from her and sit away from her on the plane back.
Do not doubt yourself.
Better you spend the last few days on your own than tolerate her.
Keep posting.
We are here for you.

OP, it's definitely not you, it's your friend; she's about as mature as this poster is pleasant.

YANBU
Had a school friend I thought I knew well. Stayed very close through Uni. In 20s both single so went on hol and she started getting bitchy. Spent week with her being romanced by a guy (and being cheap (despite far being better off). On last day I met someone nice. At airport gave him my number & she mocked me saying he’d never call (he did). Then it kept going, criticising my later LT relationship. When she and friend, at a bad time in my life, criticised my DM that was the last straw. I said 1 thing I regret then broke contact (wise DM only then told me she wasn’t surprised)
Your friend won’t change. Cut and run

I would stop mixing with woman she is not a friend she seems to have a problem with you. Putting you down and saying people are looking at you badly is just weird sounds like she might be jealous of you.

She sounds batshit.

Agree with this, I had a really similar experience with a friend on holiday and she was absolutely vile to me, burst into tears the moment she left and never spoke to her again. Good luck getting through the next few days, just avoid her and do your own thing x

She's a nasty bitch
I think she's getting a kick out of putting you down
I can imagine someone like her smirking after making her snide digs
You weren't to know she would be like this as you haven't spent much time alone with her.
It's a good thing you snapped, as now you don't have to bite your tongue
Just do your own thing from now on, you may find nice people to chat with anyway.
See if there are any trips you can do or a beauty treatment.
Enjoy your holiday, your way.
If you share a return flight just disengage and cut her off when you get home

When you snapped did you fart?

Ah yes, the most unfunny snapped and farted thread...never did understand the hilarity over that one

Well at least she has gone off somewhere and you can enjoy the holiday on your own!

Has she cleared her stuff out of your room or are you expecting her to return?

I regularly holiday with friends and don’t have these issues. This woman isn’t actually your friend though.

Hi OP. I hope you have separate rooms or if not ask at reception to be moved to a separate room for remainder of your stay.

I had a friend for years and we had a massive argument on the first night of the holiday. We just had different priorities what we wanted to do. I think I was 19 at the time and she had my return train ticket, otherwise would have just returned home.

Other time I went away with another friend abroad in Malta and she didn't want to do anything other than sit in the hotel room and watch BBC 2. It was so frustrating.

This year I went abroad by myself for the first time and it was amazing!!!

Hello all, wanted to update and not leave anyone hanging. She returned and has been acting completely normal not a word about what happened or things, so I just said look it made me feel awful etc and she’s said ok. nothing else, no apology.

We’ve been eating and doing things separately which she seems overly sad about. She keeps being extra nice to me when I was in the room getting ready saying that I could borrow her perfume, clothes etc if I wanted or that she could do my hair and keeps trying to sit by me in the pool.

I simply popped in my air buds, got ready and went for a walk by myself and some food. In all honestly, it’s put me off her for life. I’ve just said to her let’s get through the next few days and then we will be home.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends...

But you could find a friend who's not a cunt (?)

Whereabouts in Turkey are you, op?