Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

Well I would have already told her to F off.

Yep.
"Our maturity is not defined by our capacity to quietly absorb bullying, degradation or abuse."
I read that somewhere once and it resonated with me.

Personally I'd have told her I'd had enough of her shit, then demonstrated such with my feet.
I don't go on holiday to soak up someone else's fucking problem.

100% agree. It doesnt sound like a playground spat at all. Spats are 2 sided.

It sounds like one is being a bitch and the other extremely patient.

Get a book, bury your nose in it, and get your camera out and video her when she starts again @Poolsiders - for "memories"

I had a friend a bit like that - sly digs which weren’t super-nasty by themselves, but together made me anxious and on edge. It was pretty constant negativity and put-downs. Even if things were going well and we both seemed happy, she’d suddenly come out with a comment to spoil it. I haven’t spoken to her for more than 12 years.

I think she did it because she was insecure, and because she was a miserable person so took pleasure in sh*tting on anyone else’s happiness. My guess is your friend is the same. The comments about your weight are because she weighs more than you and is jealous and insecure. Therefore, she’s aiming to make you feel bad.

Those videos she’s taking of you won’t be used for anything good. Pretend you find them funny, ask to borrow her phone to see the funniest ones - then delete the lot.

I'm wondering if she is jealous of you- she's trying to undermine your confidence in order to boost her own. She sounds absolutely horrible. Try to ignore her as much as possible, enjoy the sunshine and drop her after the holiday. She is not worth your friendship.

I think this kind of thing happens because you're used to spending short periods of time with someone, not extended time together 24/7. Also, some people are uncomfortable with silence, so feel compelled to prattle on.
My best friends are ones I can be with in comfortable silence & not feel the need to talk constantly.

She sounds awful. You did the right thing. She isn’t someone to go on holiday with. She sounds mean as hell

Your friend is a cow - i would try to avoid her on the holiday and re-evaluate the friendship with her...if you all belong to a group, i would be telling the group why. I would take pictures and videos of her and post in on the group - but then again im petty 😂

Some friend
Could she be jealous of you in some way?
Odd behaviour

People like your friend are usually discombobulated if you just agree with everything they say. They don't know how to handle it.

'That woman over there is looking at you'.

'I know! Perhaps she likes my top!'

Have you come for a funeral?'

'I know! I just love black clothes!'

'But they don't suit you.'

'I know! Mad, isn't it?!'

Etc, etc. She'll soon get bored once she realises she can't wind you up.

Get some massive headphones. Even if fake. Wear them at all times you're alone with her.

Then ditch her once home.

I get on really well with my friend on holiday but then she's not a bitch!

Sadly, yours is.

She sounds like a crashing bore, and an insecure one to boot - perhaps she's feeling self conscious and is putting you down to make herself feel better.

Ignore her, it's her issue, not yours.

How old are you both?

I don't suppose the video of you dancing is as embarrassing as you think. I think I would film her now doing something and would reply to the group chat on the lines of "I thought we both agreed that we didn't want videos of ourselves posting, but as I see this isn't actually the case, I'll share this one of you dancing/swimming too." Then I would just grey rock her for the rest of the holiday.

Can you go on trips without her?

Find somewhere else for dinner?

And the next time she videos you, ignore her and either video back or go over and tell her to just fucking stop it!

Why are you accusing the OP of being childish?

What is she supposed to do about the way she's being treated?

Well done OP!

now…
-video her and send it to group chat (ahh but the memories, you did it so it’s ok for me to, stop being so SENSITIVE Glenda’)
-get headphones and ignore her. Every now and again take them out -‘Sorry, are you still talking about your relatives? Ah ok’
-show her this thread. FUCK OFF, GLENDA YOU TWAT!

This may have been mentioned I don't know but I'd have snapped AND farted with the stress of it all.
*Farted is a nod to another thread in case you wondered.

Wow - she's really showing you who she is!
Sorry OP horrible to find out this way on holiday - you're definitely not the first though.

I would video her back tbh and put it in the group chat

Oh stop it. Such a predictable shitty comment.

Why are you friends with that sack of shit. If this thread is genuine. It baffles me to the amount of ‘shit’ women tolerate as normal. She’s not your friend.

She sounds like a right arsehole. YANBU

This is such an interesting read. I also fell out with a friend while on a holiday she invited herself to.

your friend sounds quite bitter. I’m sorry you’re wasting holiday time being put down like this. I absolutely would NOT tolerate that. I know it’s difficult to stand up for yourself specially when the vitriol is coming from a friend. .. but we gotta do it!

At the moment I’m getting XFactor vibes of those two friends that went on to the stage singing and one slapped the other for being rude!

Im going to be honest here as an adult woman, she is NOT a friend. Ignore for the rest of the holiday in my opinion, separate yourself, fly home - and leave her in your past. The fact that’s she’s making you feel so uncomfortable is disgusting. You sound like you’re worth 100 times more than she is. 🤍