Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

"Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/"

Actually cannot deal with those who bore on about the lives of people I don't know or care about. I think it's socially inept to do so.

I’m not surprised you snapped! She sounds horrible.

I don't think it's the op who has the problem, it sounds like she hasn't done anything wrong and it's her weirdo friend.

Why have you said this @Commonsenseisnotsocommon?

What has the OP done except be on the receiving end of some poor social skills?

I couldn't agree more but op now needs to assertive herself and a boundary that she won't spend time with her.

Good for you standing up for yourself. Do you have much longer to go on the holiday? Definitely let that friendship slide when you go home, she is self obsessed and is putting you down to make herself feel better. No one needs that in their life.

have a few more days, have just tried to keep quiet so far when she’s made comments or sort of zoned out when she’s talking about her family and other stuff as she isn’t interested in a 2 way conversation.

Forgot to mention she’s been videoing me (in the pool, dancing etc) when I’ve asked her not to for “memories” but absolutely refuses to be on camera herself. I actually think it’s to embarrass me as she sent a very unflattering video of me dancing to our group chat.

meh, just going to do my own thing for the next few days and then go home and swear after this no holidays with friends ever again!

This is not how a 'normal' friend acts on holiday, or anywhere else. You were right to snap, you should tell her why you're so pissed off with her.

Perhaps she is just a really unconfident person who is struggling with feelings about herself and projecting them on to you. Whatever the reason, it's not something you should put up with. I would ignore her and read a book instead.

Obviously she is not normally like this because you wouldn't be friends with her. I have acted like this before and it was a combination of poor sleep in not my own bed, severe travel anxiety, not eating as well as I should, drinking too much and feeling grumpy after, and generally not having as good a time as I expected so every little thing started to get annoying.

Have you asked her what's wrong?

I think a
Wtaf is your problem
would be a fair response.

Being around anyone 24/7 is hard and all them things about them that where mildly annoying become massively annoying can you have some breaks from each other go for a walk or to the beach by yourself for a few hours as I think it would help

Are you sharing a room? If not, just do your own thing for the rest of the time and avoid her as much as possible.

turkey is amazing so i hope you can get away from her and still have a good time in the area you're in :)

The videoing of you is totally out of order. She is just a nasty person.

I agree. If someone asks you not to film, fucking don't.

This. Also leave the group chat and tell the other people in it why. I'd not be having anything to do with her again and I'd thoroughly enjoy telling her what a first class cunt she is before having a great few days alone. Fuck her.

Just say "there's a woman looking at you like she thinks you're annoying and nagging" when she asks who point to yourself and give her a look!

seems you missed some red flags about this friend!

It’s good you snapped, given all the crap - especially the video and posting it - would ditch her for the rest of the time and end the friendship.

Videoing you and posting on the group.chat? I would have said "yeah X ia being super annoying this trip. Help!" I'd ask her outright why she is being such a twat and to knock it off. It's a rhetorical question but needs to be said. Bin her off.

Never understand why people post idiotic comments like this.

The friend is obviously out of order; the OP is on the receiving end. She has no control of the other woman's words or behavior and its fine to be thrown off kilter by someone being a dick to you.

Turkey is pretty cheap. If you're sharing a room, have a wander around the other hotels in the resort and see if any of them can do you a deal for single accommodation for your last few nights. Then just leave and don't tell her where you've gone.

Some people are just horrible for no excuse at all!

Some people are deeply uncomfortable out of their comfort zone, and can’t control themselves. It appears this might be what is happening to your friend.

Are there any cultural things you want to do, visit places, join in with a tour, that kind of thing? I’ve never been to Turkey but I think it’s full of stuff to see?

I’ve been to Turkey a couple of times and there should be a tour on offer or a cultural place or water sports you could do.

Bin her off as a friend though. It seems as if you’ve thought she’s only being strange like this on holiday but not at home. She’s showing her true colours here though. It looks like with her other mates in your group chat she feels free to be a bitch without them.

Just go off on your own. She is being a pain.